Interdimensional Dementia
by Red Witch
Summary: The Misfits and XMen take a little trip through other weird dimensions thanks to Forge's latest invention. But their travels have unintentional consequences that could affect not only their lives, but reality as they know it.
1. Into The Wild Blue Yonder

**I don't own any X-Men Evolution or GI Joe characters. I'm just doing this for fun! Fun! That means I can do whatever I want! Muahhhhhhh! (Insert Evil Laugh here.) This is a mad fic I came up with so hold on. It's gonna get wild. **

**Interdimensional Dementia**

**Chapter One: Into the Wild Blue Yonder**

The madness began with the most frightening words ever spoken in the Xavier Institute.

"Guys! You gotta see what my invention can do!" Forge called out.

"This is gonna be trouble," Scott sighed as he reluctantly entered Forge's Lab.

"Scott be positive," Jean said.

"This is **definitely** going to be a lot of trouble," Kurt remarked. "Is **that** positive enough for you?"

"Should we really see this?" Wanda asked.

"Why not?" Pietro said. "It beats watching Ororo chase Shipwreck around the garden for four hours."

"How did your Dad get into Storm's dresser in the first place?" Todd asked Althea.

"Who knows? Who cares?" Althea told him. "Just as long as he's patched up in time to make dinner tonight."

"But Kitty…" Lance whined.

"Lance I mean it! I can't believe you threw my pie at Peter!" Kitty snapped.

"To be fair he was aiming at Pietro," Rogue pointed out. "And it was probably safer for him than eating it."

"Oh dear…" Hank sighed. "I definitely sense some calamity upon us."

"Behold! My Interdimesional Matter Network Universe Teleportation System," Forge proudly pointed at a familiar device. It looked like a red version of the old Middleverse teleportation device that had a few more buttons and the logo IM NUTS stamped on it.

"Do we really want to know what it does or should we just call 911 now and save time?" Rogue asked.

"Remember when you guys got kidnapped by Mojo and you ran around a few other dimensions meeting your alternate selves?" Forge asked.

"Vividly," Scott folded his arms. "It was Just Another Week in the Lives of Mutants."

"Don't forget the Exiles," Althea added.

"I wish we could," Scott admitted.

"Well I thought it would be fun to see what our lives are like in other dimensions," Forge grinned. "We could go over and visit."

"Now on Track Five…" Rogue said. "Bad Idea coming right into the station."

"She's right Forge," Althea said. "I mean let's say we actually tried this thing. What happens if we run out of fuel or something?"

"Oh that won't happen" Forge said. "I've made sure the power supply is the exact same as the Mass Device."

"You mean grape juice?" Rogue asked. "It runs on **grape juice?"**

"That and a few other components," Forge coughed.

"Well what if we end up in a universe where mutants are either killed off or enslaved and stuff?" Lance snorted. "Ever think about that Professor Frink?"

"Oh don't worry there's a button for that," Forge showed him. "It's on filter so you can just go to the fun universes."

"That's a handy button," Todd admitted.

"No one is going anywhere," Scott said. "That thing is a recipe for disaster if I've ever seen one! And that's saying something compared to Kitty's cooking."

"HEY!" Kitty stamped her foot.

"For once I agree with you," Lance said.

"About how bad Kitty's cooking is?" Pietro asked.

"Besides that," Lance shrugged.

"LANCE!" Kitty shouted.

"The truth hurts Kit-Kat," Pietro made a face. "But not as much as indigestion!"

"I mean," Lance decided to get back on track. "The whole traveling to other dimensions. Who'd be stupid enough to want to try this thing anyway?"

"Oooh! This looks neat!" Todd held the device and started to play with the dials.

"Deep down didn't we all know **that** was the answer?" Rogue sighed. "I think I'm going to go into the hall for a bit…" She started to move away.

"Toad! Get your slimy hands off the…" Kurt ran over and grabbed it.

"Hey! Stop pulling! You'll get your turn!" Todd tugged on it.

"Get your hands off of it!" Kitty ran over.

"Toad! Nightcrawler let go!" Scott shouted.

"YOU LET GO!" Todd snapped.

"I'm **going** into the hallway!" Rogue ran out. "LOGAN!"

"People no!" Hank said. "Don't fool around with it might…"

BEEEEEEEEP!

"Go off…" Hank gulped just as a bright light engulfed the mutants except for Forge who had jumped behind a table just in time. Soon they were gone.

"Well…At least I know it works," Forge blinked. "I hope…"

Logan ran in with Rogue, Warren, Remy and Amara. "What the devil is going on here?" He roared.

"I knew it was a good idea to go into the hallway," Rogue remarked. "After living here so long you'd think more people would recognize the signs of incoming doom."

"WHAT HAPPENED HERE?" Logan roared. "Where are the others?"

"We had a little Oopsie," Forge gulped. "Wolverine…Please put away the claws!"

Meanwhile….

"OOOF!" Hank groaned as he struggled to get up. "Kurt would you get your tail out of my ear?"

"I knew I should have went out into the hall with Rogue…" Jean groaned as she got up.

"You did it again Toad," Pietro said sarcastically. "Where are we?"

"You're in the X-Mansion…" Kurt said. But it wasn't their Kurt.

They turned around and saw another Kurt standing there in what appeared to be his image inducer form. "Hey another Elf!" Todd pointed. "Hi there!"

"WHOA!" The other Kurt shouted and bamphed up to the ceiling.

"Hey don't be afraid!" Kurt shouted and teleported up to the ceiling with him. "See we're you! I mean! I'm you…"

"What's going on here!" Mr. McCoy ran into the room. He looked exactly like Hank did before he changed. "Oh my!"

"Oh my," Hank blinked. "This is a sight I never expected to see again! I assure you Mr. McCoy we are not invaders! In fact I am you! Only a different version of you so to speak!"

"Toad here got us stuck in another dimension if you can believe that," Kurt said.

"I believe **that,"** The Other Kurt groaned. They both teleported to the ground. "Wow…You are X-Men from another dimension? Is that possible?"

"There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your Philosophy, Horatio…" Both Hanks said at the same time.

"Two Beasts quoting Shakespeare at the same time?" Lance gave him a look. "Yeah it's possible. So you guys can turn off your image inducers."

"Image inducers?" The Second Kurt was startled. "You have them too?"

"You got it Blue Boy Number Two," Pietro nodded. "So you can turn yours off."

"Uh…" The Second Kurt looked at his Mr. McCoy. "Ours **are **off. This is what we really look like."

"Say what?" Todd blinked.

"You mean you have your powers but you…" Kurt's jaw dropped.

"You mean in this dimension Kurt and I are normal? I mean we look just like everyone else?" Hank was shocked.

"Not…exactly," The voice of Professor Xavier was heard. The others turned around and got a shock.

There was Professor Xavier with completely blue skin. Scott, Jean, Logan, Rogue, and Kitty were there too with blue skin and in Scott and Logan's case, blue fur. Ororo was there but with white fur on her body. They were dressed exactly the same as their counterparts' X-Men costumes but they had fur and were mostly blue.

"As you may have surmised," Blue Xavier spoke. "This dimension is almost exactly like your own. With one minor twist."

"Minor twist?" Kitty's jaw dropped.

"Tell me about it," Blue Kitty shuddered. "Eww…"

"What do you mean **Ewww**?" Kitty snapped.

"Well you're like totally gross and hairless," Kitty shuddered.

"Way to be tactful Kitty," Blue Rogue groaned. She still had her trademark white streaked brown hair. She looked at the group. "Where's my counterpart?"

"She got smart and ran out of the way before our accident," Lance told her.

"That does sound like me," Blue Rogue remarked.

"So here…everybody's furry and blue or white…" Todd pieced it together. "Except for these guys?" He pointed to Other Kurt and Mr. McCoy.

"And my mother," Other Kurt groaned. "Don't get me **started **on her!"

"Believe me, I know your pain," Kurt groaned.

"This is gonna be one wild trip," Todd blinked.

**What happens next? What do they see in other dimensions! He he…Find out! **


	2. Some Possibilites Are Impossible

**Some Possibilities Are Impossible**

"Well that was different," Hank grunted as the mutants emerged from the portal, this time in less of a pile than before.

"Different is not the word for it," Scott told him as he got up from where he fell. "I still can't believe how I look with fur."

"What I can't believe is how much damage could be done to a room with a fistfight," Pietro quipped. "A no powers fistfight."

"Hey! I was totally justified," Kitty snapped. "That other Kitty had no right to criticize me like that!"

"And that's why you trashed their living room," Althea grinned. "Good thing we got out of there when we did."

"And maybe you should go back there!" A familiar voice startled them. They realized they were in another Institute living room and a very ticked of Wolverine was staring at them. He was wearing his old tan uniform with the hood down and claws out. "What the devil is all this?"

"Look I know this is going to sound pretty unbelievable," Scott groaned. "But we're alternate versions of the X-Men."

"And Misfits!" Todd piped up.

"What the hell is a Misfit?" Logan asked. "Some of you look like the Brotherhood!"

"Well we were members of the Brotherhood," Lance sighed. "Until…"

"YOU?" Logan said. "Avalanche, you're an X-Man!"

"What?" Both Scott and Lance yelled.

"What's going on here?" X-Man Avalanche rushed in, wearing a black and red X-Man uniform. To everyone's surprise the other 'X-Men' entered the room. In black, red, green and silver uniforms were Todd, Fred, Wanda, Pietro, Rogue, Jean and Althea.

"Hey! I'm in this universe!" Althea grinned.

"Universe?" X-Althea blinked. She looked at the team. "Did she just say '_universe_?'"

"YOU GUYS ARE X-MEN?" Kitty yelled. "SINCE WHEN?"

"Since always," X-Quicksilver folded his arms. "And some of you are in the Brotherhood!"

"Which ones?" Scott asked.

"What do you mean which ones?" X-Jean snapped. "Nightcrawler, Shadowcat, Beast…Scott you deserted us!"

"Why the hell would I do that?" Scott shouted.

"You couldn't take it when Jean dumped you for Fred," X-Toad quipped.

"WHAT?" Both Scott and Jean screamed.

"Is this a joke?" Scott shouted.

"Does this look like a joke?" The Other Jean showed him her hand. It had an engagement ring on it.

"I think I am going to be violently ill," Jean winced. "I wish I was as smart as Rogue not to come on this trip."

"Where the heck am I?" Rogue asked.

"Back with the other X-Men," Wanda explained. "You jumped out of the way just in time."

"Out of the way of what?" Wolverine snapped. "Somebody start talking!"

"What is going on here?" Mystique walked in wearing a black and blue X-Man uniform with Charles Xavier, who was limping on a cane. "Kurt?"

"Not our Kurt," Xavier spoke. "A different one, from another universe."

"Okay this is the second time somebody said universe," Wolverine said. "What does that mean?"

"It means that we were accidentally transported from our universe to yours," Hank explained. "A universe that has a few…differences."

"Obviously!" Kurt was shocked. "The Professor walking? Mystique in the X-Men? Who else is in this group? The Juggernaut?"

"No…" X-Rogue sighed. "Not quite…"

"All right I don't know why all of you peons refuse to try my Osso Bucco with Saffron Risotto," Apocalypse, in his blue glory wearing an apron that said KISS THE COOK walked in. "Did we invite guests and not tell me? You know I hate that!"

"Oh my…." Kitty's jaw dropped.

"What the hell kind of crazy universe is this?" Pietro shrieked and pointed to Apocalypse. "You know this guy tried to wipe out all the humans and take over the world, right?"

"Well yes," X-Apocalypse shrugged. "But I'm over that now."

"I think I need a drink…" Hank groaned.

"Right this way," Wolverine told him.

Later that evening after a nice dinner…

"So let's see if I get this straight," Pietro counted off on his fingers. "In this universe, the Professor can walk; Mystique and the rest of the old Brotherhood are X-Men along with Rogue, Jean and Althea…"

"Whose parents sent her to them," Althea added. "And her parents didn't divorce."

"I came to stay with these guys during an encounter with GI Joe," X-Wavedancer explained. "And I'm the co-leader of the team with Marvel Girl."

"Jean has a lame codename," Pietro added. "But still better than no codename."

"No codename?" X-Jean blinked. She looked at her counterpart. "How can you **not** have a codename?"

"Long story," Jean groaned. "How the hell could **you** fall for the Blob of all people? It's impossible!"

"It's not **that **impossible," X-Blob looked at her.

"Well…" X-Jean shrugged. "He asked me to have a soda with him and I decided to do it even though I'd be late for Danger Room practice. It turned out he was a really sweet guy."

"See?"Pietro looked at Jean. "You didn't have to brush Freddy off! Look what you missed out on!"

"I think I was better off getting kidnapped…" Jean groaned.

"Kidnapped?" X-Blob asked.

"Yeah uh," Todd scratched his head. "She turned our Blob down and he didn't take it very well."

"That's an understatement if there ever was one," Kitty rolled her eyes.

"Back to the program here," Pietro interrupted. "On the Brotherhood side are Magneto, Cyclops, Havok, Gambit, Nightcrawler, Storm, Spyke, Beast, Sabertooth and Shadowcat. How did **that** happen?"

"The short version?" X-Scarlet Witch asked. "My father recruited Sabertooth, Havok, Beast, Gambit, Storm and her nephew before Xavier did."

"When Jean here turned down Cyclops he joined his brother with Magneto," X-Blob explained. "He really knows how to hold a grudge."

"Tell me about it," Lance and X-Avalanche groaned.

"You hate Summer's guts too?" Lance asked.

"Don't get me started!" X-Avalanche growled.

"Please don't," X-Scarlet Witch groaned. "Especially when it comes to his precious Kitty!"

"Not this again…" X-Avalanche groaned. "She's not that bad!"

"Oh yes she is!" X-Toad snapped.

"They're dating in this reality too?" Todd asked.

"Oh man you have no idea how bad it gets," X-Toad rolled his eyes.

"Wanna bet?" Althea asked.

"Does your Lance go out serenading at three in the morning?" Wanda asked. "Creates little earthquakes when he gets frustrated?"

"Does your Kitty go out and buy the stupidest gifts and sends them to you?" X-Rogue asked. "Or worse, insist on baking them!"

"Yeah!" Todd nodded. "Don't tell me she can't cook here either!"

"She once made a batch of muffins that broke the floor!" X-Mystique told him.

"Our Kitty did that too!" Pietro said. "Let me guess, her driving's bad too!"

"Is it ever!" X-Rogue rolled her eyes. "She sent seven driving instructors to the hospital!"

"Ours only got a chance to send five of them," Kurt remarked. "Or was it six?"

"What is this? Pick on Kitty Pryde Day?" Kitty snapped. "Why is Mystique here? And why isn't she with her son?"

"It's a long and complicated story…" X-Mystique groaned. "Don't ask."

"Let's just say we have family problems," X-Rogue folded her arms.

"You too?" Todd was shocked. "Wow the more things change…"

"And Apocalypse is here **why?**" Kurt glared at Todd before returning his attention back to the others.

"Let's just say the X-Men 'convinced' me to give up world domination," X-Apocalypse grumbled.

"Especially since you lost nearly all your powers to Rogue," X-Toad grinned.

"My plan backfired okay?" X-Apocalypse snapped. "Who knew she could figure out how to reverse my absorption abilities?"

"Because I touched you?" Rogue gave him a look. "Duh!"

"How did we end up becoming X-Geeks?" Pietro asked, pointing to his alternate self and Wanda's alternate self.

"Xavier rescued us not long after our loving father abandoned us at a mental institution," X-Wanda grimaced.

"He abandoned **both **of you?" Wanda was shocked. "He actually locked up Pietro too? There is justice in the universe!"

"Only Wanda got locked up in our universe," Kitty explained.

"That explains a few things," Wolverine grumbled.

"Is there anything else we should know?" Kurt asked looking at X-Mystique. "You're not in love with Wolverine or anything like that?"

"Well actually…" X-Apocalypse coughed.

Althea looked at the both of them. "No way…Mystique and Apocalypse? YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME?"

"I wish they were…" Logan growled.

"You gotta admit they do have a lot in common," Todd remarked.

"SHUT UP TOAD!" Kurt snapped.

"And you thought when your mom shacked up with Zartan it was bad enough," Todd continued.

"She slept with him in that reality too?" X-Apocalypse grunted. "Big surprise!"

"It was before we met you know?" X-Mystique glared at him.

"So were Sabertooth, Magneto, Xavier, Destiny, Storm and Shadowcat's Dad," X-Toad quipped.

"Didn't somebody tell one of you to shut up?" X-Mystique snapped.

"My father? You slept with **my** father?" Kitty yelled.

"Technically my Kitty's father," X-Avalanche pointed out.

"Now aren't you glad **your **dad's gay?" Pietro said to Kitty. "See there's always an upside to things!"

"I amengaged toBlob…" Jean was still puzzled. "Who is an X-Man...I amengaged to**Blob?"**

"Jean we're off **you** now!" Kitty snapped. She glared at X-Mystique. "You slept with my dad, Storm and the Professor? Although Sabertooth and Magneto isn't that big a stretch. Is there anyone you **didn't **sleep with?"

"She never slept with me," Wolverine told them.

"You were too busy sleeping with Shadowcat before she dumped you for Avalanche," X-Toad pointed out.

"Okay this universe is officially sick and twisted!" Kitty threw up her hands. "Can we go now?"

"I think I'd like to point out that our Shadowcat is a bit older than you are," Xavier coughed. "She's in her mid twenties."

"So she's dating a teenager," Althea quipped. "Go Kitty."

"Shut up!" Kitty snapped at her.

"Why do you have a problem with that?" Lance looked at her. "I mean it's still me..."

"Not now Lance!" Kitty snapped.

"Boy this Kitty is just as bossy as ours," X-Toad remarked.

"Why don't you shut up?" Kitty snapped. "Especially after being repeatedly told to shut up? Just shut up already!"

"Yup she's bossy all right," Todd nodded. "Not to mention a bad driver and cook."

"AAAHHHGGGGH!" Kitty screamed.

"And your Kitty screams a lot too," X-Toad remarked.

"You have no idea," Todd shook his head. "I never understood why."

"There's something I want to know," X-Scarlet Witch interrupted. "Toad uh, other Toad are you dating anyone?"

"Yeah Al," Todd pointed to Althea.

"YES!" X-Wavedancer jumped up and did a dance. "IN YOUR FACE WITCHY POO!"

"THAT DOESN'T PROVE ANYTHING!" X-Scarlet Witch shot up.

"Yes it does! It proves Toddles belongs with me!" X-Wavedancer stuck out her tongue.

"Over my dead body!" X-Scarlet Witch shouted. She tackled X-Wavedancer and they started to fight.

"Wait you don't mean...?" Pietro looked at X-Toad. "This is a joke right?"

X-Toad shrugged. "Hey I can't help it if the ladies love me!"

"You were right Kitty," Wanda groaned. "This is a sick and twisted universe!"

"Anything else we should know?" Scott asked. "I mean…Rogue, are you and Gambit dating?"

"That Swamp Rat? Hell no," Rogue snorted. "Please! Gambit's with Storm!"

"O-kay," Scott nodded slowly. "So is there anyone…?"

"Well…" Xavier coughed.

"Never mind!" Scott threw up his hands. "I don't want to know!"

"DIE! DIE! DIE!" Both X-Wavedancer and X-Wanda screamed as they fought, trashing the living room.

"Scott you have to understand how Rogue and I feel for each other," Xavier said.

"I SAID I DIDN'T WANT TO KNOW!" Scott shouted.

"That's what our Cyclops said before he went nuts and defected to the Brotherhood," X-Avalanche remarked.

"He didn't take that news well either," X-Blob shook his head. "Pumpkin Pie may I have more chocolate cake please?"

"Right here my big strong teddy bear," X-Jean purred as she fed him.

"I think am going to be sick…" Jean winced.

"Just don't do it on the rug," X-Apocalypse snorted. "That'll be another mess I have to clean up! And there are a lot of them!" He glared at X-Mystique.

"You are still mad at me for what happened in Reno are you?" X-Mystique folded her arms. "You know I was on a mission! I wasn't really dating Senator Kelly!"

"No but you still married him anyway!" X-Apocalypse snapped.

"Now **I'm** going to be sick…" Kurt moaned.

"A Vegas Marriage! And it wasn't even a real preacher! It was just an Elvis impersonator I shelled a hundred bucks to perform the ceremony!" X-Mystique shouted. "It was Xavier's idea!"

"Don't put the blame on me!" Xavier snapped. "I only told you to get close to Kelly so we could find out something on the Mutant Registration Bill! I didn't tell you to get drunk!"

"That's the only way anyone could tolerate that man's presence!" X-Mystique snapped. "Of course I wouldn't have had to drink if you'd been monitoring the situation instead of playing Strip Blackjack with my daughter and Beast!"

"I think it's time we must be going," Hank said as he stood up quickly. "As informative as this has all been…"

"Don't play Mother of the Year!" Rogue shouted. "As I recall you were trying to get back together with Xavier and steal him away from me in the first place! That's why you practically shoved my old boyfriend…"

"Beast was **your **boyfriend?" Kitty's jaw dropped.

"Man is Rogue lucky she missed this trip," Pietro groaned. "Do I want to know who I'm dating?"

"Uh…" X-Quicksilver gulped. "No one now but you did kind of have a fling with Cyclops after the whole Jean thing."

"That's **it!**" Scott grabbed the device and turned it on. "We're outta here!" The gang teleported away to another dimension while the X-Men proceeded to argue and in some cases beat the stuffing out of each other.

**Alternate couple fics are such fun aren't they? Well hang onto your hats, because it's about to get weirder! **


	3. Next Stop More Insanity

**Next Stop More Insanity**

"Okay we really gotta learn how to work this machine better," Kurt moaned as he shoved Todd's feet from his face. "Toad get your smelly feet out of my face!" The mutants were once again in a pile on the floor.

"If somebody gets their hand off my butt!" Todd snapped.

"Sorry," Althea whistled. "Accident."

"Way to go Summers," Lance growled as he got up.

"You try steering this thing!" Scott snapped.

"Please don't encourage him," Kitty groaned. "Aren't things bad enough?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Lance turned on her.

"Not now Lance," Jean sighed. "First we need to find out where we are."

"I recognize this place," Kurt looked around. "It's Bayville High. This is Mr. Sherman's class! I recognize his bad handwriting." He pointed to the chalkboard in the empty classroom.

"He's right," Kurt agreed. "But I don't remember the school looking so…" He struggled to find the right words. "Run down."

"Run down?" Lance peeked into the corridors. "You gotta see this! Half the lockers look like they've been blown open! The place is a mess!"

"Lance get back in here before someone sees you!" Kitty pulled him back. "We don't know anything about this dimension!"

"What's there to know?" Todd asked.

"For starters why are we at Bayville High?" Wanda asked. "Shouldn't have we shown up at the Institute?"

"Well there are different variances in every dimension," Hank scratched his head. "And these variances would include different degrees of displacement and…"

"In English Beast?" Wanda folded her arms.

"We could show up anywhere and at any time period," Hank explained.

"Oh is **that** all?" Kitty groaned. "Still I guess it's better than showing up in a volcano or in the middle of the Antarctic!"

"You are never going to let me forget that aren't you?" Lance snapped at her.

"That's The Trouble With Teleportation," Todd chuckled as he shook his head.

**"**Here's a really stupid question," Scott asked. "Why can't we just teleport home with this thing?"

"Uh, we would except for the fact that I don't know what frequency our universe is," Hank puzzled over the device. "But I suspect that Forge would know."

"You mean if one of us had grabbed him before we teleported we'd be home by now?" Althea gave him a look.

"Pretty much yes," Hank sighed.

"So in other words we're pretty much trapped in a demented version of Sliders on acid?" Wanda folded her arms.

"That would seem so," Hank nodded.

"Wonderful," Pietro groaned. "So now what do we do?"

"I believe the wisest course of action is to meet and observe our counterparts in order to ascertain how the particular dynamics of this dimension work," Hank asked.

"Again in **English** please?" Todd asked.

"I am speaking English," Hank glared at him.

"No, you're speaking Highbrow Fancy Talk-ese!" Todd challenged. "Nobody normal knows that!"

"What Beast means is that we need to find our other selves and see how things are in this world," Jean explained.

"I rest my case," Todd nodded triumphantly.

Jean put her face in her hand. "I will not kill him. I will **not** kill him…"

"Hold on," Althea said looking out the window. "I think I see something. Is that you guys?"

"I think you're right," Scott remarked. On the lawn of the school were the X-Men. Scott, Jean, Evan, Rogue, Kurt (Image inducer on) and Tabitha walking to school along with the other students of Bayville High. "That's us right there."

"Where am I?" Kitty asked. "I don't see me."

"Hey I remember this day," Todd piped up. "It was near the end of the first school year we all showed up at Bayville High! We spent all morning in the auditorium listening to some motivational speaker talk about careers. Telly Hakweed! See the poster!"

"Oh yeah," Scott nodded. "Wait, you remember that? You actually paid attention?"

"No," Todd told him. "I spent the whole time writing phony notes and picking pockets. I made over a hundred bucks that day."

"Yeah, now I remember this too," Lance remarked. "Didn't you make that suggestive note to that cheerleader Mindy Green and wrote it in Duncan's handwriting?"

"Yup and she smacked him silly," Todd snickered. Down on the ground they saw Duncan get hit repeatedly by a very angry cheerleader. "Like that."

"**Now** I remember that assembly," Scott said. "I especially liked it when she kicked him in the shin."

"Hold on to your horses," Todd pointed. "It's coming up."

"YEWOOOWWWW! MINDY!"

"Boy does that bring back a lot of memories," Scott chuckled.

"Good times," Todd patted him on the shoulder. "Good times."

Scott chuckled then stopped himself. "I can't believe I just enjoyed that with Toad!"

"Don't be so ashamed," Jean said. "I liked that too."

"Who wouldn't enjoy some good old Duncan bashing?" Kitty snickered.

"You know what this means?" Hank said. "It means that in this dimension for some reason the events that happened to us haven't happened yet."

"And the fact that Kitty's not here in this dimension," Pietro pointed out.

"No, I think she just wasn't recruited yet," Hank corrected.

"Wait, in this dimension Tabitha was recruited before I was?" Kitty was in shock.

"Well that explains all the holes in the walls," Scott remarked as a piece of plaster fell from the ceiling. "And why Bayville High is falling down."

"It also probably means that mutants haven't been outed yet," Lance thought aloud.

"He's right," Jean said. "We'd better be careful. We might end up altering the future in this world."

"And that's a **bad** thing?" Pietro asked her. "If you're so worried we'll just get out of this dimension."

"Can't," Kurt told him. "The device needs at least thirty minutes between jumps remember?"

"No, I don't really," Pietro scratched his head. "How did you know that?"

"That's how Forge's last invention worked! Besides there's a gauge right here that shows…" Kurt pointed. He was interrupted by the sound of the bell and students ambling into the classrooms. "Uh oh…"

"Uh oh is right," Lance said. "We'd better get out of here. Come on we'll use the watches…" He pressed the button. "Hey! They're not working!"

"Of course they won't work!" Althea remembered. "The watches are connected to the Mass Device back at the Pit in our dimension. And since the Mass Device hasn't been fixed up in this dimension…"

"The watches won't work either!" Hank caught on. "Or in any other dimension besides ours!"

"This could be a problem," Wanda blinked.

"Well not for all of us," Pietro grinned. "I'm gonna have some fun! See ya!" He sped off.

"Quicksilver!" Althea snapped. "Great! Now what do we do?"

"Kurt teleport Beast and Toad to the roof," Jean said quickly. "I can use my powers to temporary cover our identities as we look for our Quicksilver in the halls. Althea, Wanda…Since no one knows who the two of you are you guys can pretend you're new students."

"Good plan," Althea said.

"I just realized something," Scott looked at the blackboard. "According to the schedule on the board here, there's no class after this period. And if I remember Mr. Sherman correctly he always ran out of class like a bat out of hell to drink in the teacher's lounge. Althea, Wanda…You two stay here and we'll all meet back here in 45 minutes!"

"Wait a minute…" Wanda said. Too late Kurt teleported with Todd and Hank while the others left. As soon as they left the other students and Mr. Sherman walked in. "Great! We're stuck in class while the others get out of it!"

"What class does he teach?" Althea asked.

"History but he's really boring," Wanda told him.

"Who are you two?" Mr. Sherman snapped.

"Uh new transfer students," Althea said quickly. "Our paperwork got lost in the office after the last earthquake."

"Again?" Mr. Sherman groaned. "Fine! Just take a seat."

"How did you know there would have been a…?" Wanda whispered to Althea as they found two desks together.

"Avalanche?" Althea gave her a look.

"Oh right."

"And what are your names?" Mr. Sherman called out.

"Althea Delgado," Althea said quickly. "And this is…" Suddenly they both realized that Wanda giving out her real name wouldn't be a good idea.

"Uh, ever hear of a girl named Kitty Pryde?" Wanda thought fast.

"No," Mr. Sherman shook his head.

"That's me," Wanda grinned.

"Great two more weird chicks," Duncan Matthews slunk into class with a black eye. He sat right in front of Althea. Mindy Green walked in and sat right in front of Wanda.

"We're going to have some fun in this class aren't we?" Althea whispered to Wanda.

"This is too good to pass up," Wanda agreed as they prepared for class.

Meanwhile…

"I can't believe Mr. McCoy of all people would take off like that!" Kurt grumbled as he and Todd walked the hallways. Kurt had his image inducer turned on.

"Hey when you gotta go, you gotta go," Todd pointed out. A fly flitted by. "Ooh! A snack!" He shot his tongue out and grabbed it.

"Toad! Be careful! Someone could…" Kurt backed up and accidentally bumped into someone. His arm had hit the person just right so that his image inducer turned off. "See you…"

"AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The two adults screamed and ran down the hallway.

"That looked like a teacher and the Superintendent," Todd blinked.

"It **was** a teacher and the Superintendent!" Kurt moaned as he turned his image inducer back on. "We'd better get out of here!" He grabbed Todd and they teleported to somewhere else.

Little did they know that another teacher and a student saw them leave. "Okay Tayrn, I'm not drunk this time am I?" Mrs. Hawkins gulped. "Please tell me you saw that too!"

"Ohhhhh!" Tayrn passed out onto the floor.

"Okay I'm not drunk," Mrs. Hawkins said as she took out a flask. "Only one way to remedy that!" Suddenly the ground shook. "Boy this thing really packs a kick!"

Meanwhile Jean and Kitty managed to sneak outside. Jean was carrying the IM NUTS machine. "I knew splitting up was a bad idea…" Jean grumbled. She made a mockery of Scott's voice. "We should split up Jean! We could cover more ground Jean! Alvers and I can keep a low profile outside! What a crock! Why did I listen to them?"

"Yeah something tells me that wasn't one of the smartest ideas we've ever…" Kitty began when suddenly several jocks ran past them screaming. Then she saw why they were screaming. "SCOTT! LANCE!"

"Oops," Lance gulped.

"Uh oh…" Scott gulped. "Jean we can explain…"

"EXPLAIN? EXPLAIN THIS?" Jean pointed to a huge hole in the wall of the auditorium. "AND WHY WAS THERE AN EARTHQUAKE?"

"Technically this is Quicksilver's fault," Lance pointed out. "Apparently he filled the basketball court with chocolate pudding."

"I wonder where he got the chocolate pudding so fast?" Scott asked. "I mean even for his super speed…"

"WHO CARES?" Jean stomped her foot. "WHAT HAPPENED?"

"Well they were a bit upset and wanted to take out their frustrations on us," Scott admitted. "Which makes no sense at all why they attacked me. Just because I happened to be standing next to Alvers…"

"Who used his powers to fight them off," Kitty finished and glared at Lance.

"Hey I didn't shake things up until after Summers blasted the wall," Lance pointed out.

"I didn't do it on purpose!" Scott snapped. "My glasses got a little loose during the fight and…Is that smoke I smell?"

"Don't change the subject you…" Kitty began then took a sniff. "He's right. I do smell smoke."

"Hey guys!" Pietro ran up to them. "Whoa. Nice hole."

"What did you do?" Scott snapped. "Besides the chocolate pudding."

"That one wasn't me," Pietro shrugged. "Must have been my counterpart. All I did was…Uh nothing."

"Why is there smoke coming out of the second floor window over there?" Lance pointed.

"Okay so I had a little mishap in science class," Pietro remarked. "But no one saw me start the fire. I think…"

"FIRE?" Jean shouted. "YOU SET THE SCHOOL ON FIRE?"

"Don't worry I think that water's putting it out," Lance pointed. Suddenly a huge rush of water cascaded out several of the second floor windows. "WATER?"

"WAVEDANCER!" They all shouted. Jean was able to concentrate to levitate them up to the room where they had left Althea and Wanda. Both were standing there slightly wet when the others got in through the window.

"Okay maybe that wasn't the best plan," Althea wrung out her clothes.

"You think?" Wanda coughed.

"Man look at all the water in here!" Todd hopped in with Hank and Kurt following.

"Aren't you guys supposed to be on the roof?" Scott asked.

"Forget the roof! What happened here? What did you two **do?**" Jean asked.

"Well…" Althea coughed.

"Althea got carried away!" Wanda glared at her.

"Me? Look who's talking Miss Kitty Pryde!" Althea snapped.

"What?" Kitty snapped. "What did you mean by that?"

"Well I decided it was safer if I used an alias," Wanda shrugged. "By the way you have detention tomorrow. Well your counterpart has detention actually…"

"**If **she ever shows up at this school," Althea added. "If she's smart she won't."

"What did you do?" Kitty shouted.

"Well it just so happens that Duncan and Mindy were in front of us in class," Althea shrugged.

"So naturally you couldn't pass up an opportunity when you saw it," Hank folded his arms.

"If it will make you feel any better Kitty both Mindy and Duncan got detention too for getting in a couple fights in class too," Althea said.

"Why?" Kitty was afraid of the answer.

"Well Mindy was kind of mad when I told her that Duncan was cheating on her with Jean," Wanda whistled. "And Duncan wasn't too pleased when I told him that Jean was kind of dating other people behind his back."

"And by other people you mean…?" Jean's voice was icy.

"Scott," Wanda began. "Lance, Pietro…The Linebacker in front row…"

"Hence the fistfight," Althea said. "Hey we had to get out of that pop quiz somehow!"

"Something else happened didn't it?" Jean asked.

"Uh yeah…" Wanda fidgeted.

"What?" Lance asked. "What happened?"

"Well things were said in the heat of the moment by Miss Mindy," Althea explained. "And Wanda kind of lost her temper. And you know what happens when she does that!"

"I'm not the one who used the water from the sprinkler system to flood the room!" Wanda snapped.

"No, but you are the one who turned it on in the first place!" Althea reminded her.

"But why did you…?" Scott began to ask Althea.

"Mindy said a few things to Althea as well," Wanda told him.

"She's just jealous because my breasts were bigger than hers," Althea folded. "And natural!"

"Okay way too much information!" Jean raised her hands. "Although at least you didn't blow up the auditorium in front of witnesses!" She glared at Lance and Scott.

"Or have your image inducer fail in front of the Superintendent," Todd glared at Kurt.

"Or eat a fly in front of a teacher," Kurt glared at Todd.

"Or have a very embarrassing encounter in the boy's lavatory," Hank coughed as he wandered in. "You know more people should check under the stall to see if feet are there. I even made the territorial cough. You think that would have been a clue…"

"Hey what's going on…?" A very harried looking security guard walked in and saw them. "AAAHHH! MONSTERS!"

"Where?" Kurt looked around. "Oh…That's us."

The guard pulled out his pistol. Instinctively Jean used her telekinesis to fling the gun away. The guard screamed and ran.

"We'd better get out of here!" Wanda said. "How much longer before we can leave?"

"Five minutes!" Jean said. "There's more people coming!"

"This way! Everyone grab on!" Kitty told them. She phased them through to the floor.

Right into a hallway full of people. "Ooops," She gulped.

"I don't suppose you could wipe their memories of this?" Althea asked Jean.

"No, too many people," Jean gulped as people screamed.

"Okay we gotta run now!" Althea suggested. They did so. Somehow they managed to get up to the roof without anyone following. "That was close!"

"I wonder why they didn't follow us?" Kitty asked.

"Because they're too busy cornering our other selves," Lance pointed. "That's why?" Out on the quad were the X-Men and Brotherhood surrounded by an angry mob.

"They set the school on fire! That one's a demon! They have a blue monster with them! I saw it!" Several students shouted.

"Shouldn't we do something?" Kitty asked.

"Like what?" Lance asked. "Hey maybe their Professor X can wipe out all those memories like he did with the soccer game?"

"Unless…" Jean winced.

"Unless what?" Lance asked.

"Unless he was out of town," Jean gulped. "Like he was the week the seminar happened in our dimension."

"Well that's pretty inconvenient," Todd remarked.

BOOM!

"Boy does Tabby have a temper," Kurt blinked. "She didn't have to use her powers to make them try and back off!"

"Crazed mobs don't exactly bring out the best in anyone!" Lance told him.

"Well blowing up Duncan's car didn't help!" Jean groaned.

"THEY ARE FREAKS!" Duncan shouted. "GET THEM!"

The mutants cringed as they saw their counterparts run from the crazed mob. "Oh boy…" Kurt moaned. "That's not good is it?"

"I think we have just outed ourselves to the inhabitants of this dimension," Hank gulped.

"I think I just remembered why we got expelled from Bayville High," Pietro remarked.

"I think we'd better go now," Todd gulped as he started to play with the device.

"I think I'd better take charge of this thing!" Jean grabbed it and turned on the device. They disappeared in a flash.

**I once read that Tabitha was considered to be one of the original six X-Men in the Evolution series. Thought I'd have fun with it. What fun shall we have next? You'll see! **


	4. Still Getting Weirder Folks

**Still Getting Weirder Folks**

"Well that last trip was a perfect disaster if I ever saw one," Scott grumbled as he stood up after landing into the new dimension. "Where are we this time?"

"I think we're in the middle of the Danger Room," Todd gulped.

"What makes you say…?" Pietro began before he saw a very large laser point at them. "Okay…"

"I **knew** this was going to happen sooner or later!" Scott shouted as he dove out of the way.

"RUN! RUN! RUN!" Kurt yelled as the Danger Room attacked them.

"Don't let the machine get hit!" Lance yelled as he dodged several projectiles.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK I'M TRYING TO DO?" Hank yelled as he held onto the device and dodged lasers.

"POINTY THINGS! POINTY THINGS! POINTY THINGS!" Pietro screamed as he ran from the sharp giant buzz saws. "REALLY **BIG **POINTY THINGS!"

"AL SAVE ME!" Todd screamed as he hopped around.

"Oh for crying…" Althea grumbled as she pulled out her hidden nunchucks and took out a laser. "Let's get 'em girls!"

"No problem!" Kitty phased through a few weapons and they short circuited.

"Piece of cake!" Wanda used her powers to turn the Danger Room weapons on itself.

"Everyone stand back!" Jean focused her powers and suddenly all remaining weapons in the room exploded.

"Whoa," Althea looked around. "I didn't know you could do that Jean."

"I didn't know either," Jean admitted. She looked at the guys. "Okay boys you can relax. We took care of the big bad Danger Room."

"Uh yeah but what about them?" Todd gulped as he pointed behind him. There were the X-Men (Cyclops, Another Jean, Nightcrawler, Shadowcat, Rogue, Wolverine, Storm and Spyke) in their uniforms and they didn't look happy

"Okay somebody say something quick before we all get killed," Pietro gulped.

"What the hell is going on here?" Wolverine roared. "Who are you people and what are you doing here?"

"We're from an alternate dimension," Kitty explained. "Some of us are X-Men the rest are the Misfits which are members of the Brotherhood that joined the Army after Magneto dumped them. We're kind of lost between dimensions and we're trying to find our way home. Rogue's not with us because she was smart enough to get out of the way. Does that answer your question?"

"You're kidding?" Spyke snorted.

"I believe them," Other Jean said. "I can sense they're telling the truth."

"So can I," Wolverine snorted. "They may look like us but they smell different. In fact this Toad actually smells cleaner."

"Well I've been using this soap that works really well with my particular skin condition," Todd explained. "You see I have this gland problem…"

"WHO ASKED YOU?" Wolverine roared.

"Sheesh! No matter what universe we end up in, Wolverine's always a grouch," Todd grumbled.

"I think we should all have a talk," Xavier said as he wheeled up to them.

"Could we have something to eat too?" Kurt asked. "We're kind of hungry."

"Fine! You want milk and cookies too?" Wolverine snapped.

"That would be nice," Todd nodded happily.

"And no matter what universe there is apparently Toad's still clueless…" Wolverine groaned.

Twenty minutes later…

"Okay to recap people still don't know about mutants and it's pretty much the same as it was before Beast turned blue and furry," Kitty said. "It all seems pretty normal to me. Well…relatively speaking."

"You serious on the whole power surge thing?" Spyke asked.

"Oh yeah" Todd nodded. "Jean's gonna go all mega powerful and you're gonna look like a walking stegosaurus yo."

"I'm so looking forward to that," Evan grumbled.

"And when he does don't let him go to the sewers with the Morlocks," Hank whispered to Storm.

"The who?" Storm asked.

"Just trust me on this," Hank sighed. "Keep him home! For **everyone's** sake!"

"Why? What will happen if I don't?" Storm asked him.

"Oh not much, just a few murders, a disaster of a trial and some riots in the streets," Hank rolled his eyes. "You really don't want to know the whole story."

"O-kay," Storm blinked, deciding not to press the issue.

"So you're saying I'm gonna get possessed by Apocalypse and he's going to try and take over the planet by turning everyone into mutants?" Rogue asked the other mutants.

"You got it," Lance nodded. "So watch out for that okay? And if you meet a chick named Risty Wilde…Just stay away from her. She's bad news. Trust me on this one."

"And I'm still in the mental institution, am I right?" Wanda asked bitterly.

"Actually…Pietro is the one currently residing in the institution," Xavier coughed. "I've been trying to counsel him about his anger issues. Your counterpart leads the Brotherhood."

"HA!" Wanda snorted at her brother. "JUSTICE STRIKES AGAIN!"

"You are enjoying my misfortune in other dimensions **way** too much!" Pietro snapped.

"Can you blame me?" Wanda asked.

"I can't," Kitty admitted.

"So did you guys burn down the gym yet?" Todd asked not too diplomatically.

"Can you be more specific?" Nightcrawler asked.

"During the soccer game," Kitty explained. "When Lance and the others got the bright idea of trying to out us to the entire world!"

"I said I was sorry for that!" Lance snapped. "How many times to I have to apologize for that!"

"As well as trashing the school all those times," Todd counted on his fingers. "Every fight you've had with Kitty, the time you threw that pie at Colossus…"

"DIDN'T SOMEBODY TELL YOU TO SHUT UP ALREADY?" Lance yelled at him.

"I don't know, I never listen a lot," Todd scratched his head.

"I hate my life…"Lance moaned.

"I'm afraid the incident which you are referring to also happened in our dimension," Xavier sighed. "With one major difference."

"What's that?" Scott asked. Just then the alarm went off.

"I'm afraid you are about to find out," Xavier said. "It seems the Brotherhood is attacking the Institute!"

"So we'll give you a hand," Kurt said. "And kick Magneto's butt!"

"Magneto is no longer in charge of the Brotherhood," Wolverine grunted. "There's a new guy running the show and he's even worse than Magneto!"

"Worse? How could he be **worse?"** Pietro asked.

"He has telekinetic powers as well as the ability to change his body into liquid form," Xavier sighed. "A very dangerous combination."

"Liquid form huh?" Althea grinned. "I think we can handle it."

"Al here is a hydrokinetic," Todd explained.

"A hydro-what?" Nightcrawler asked.

"Later! Let's go!" Cyclops told them as they rushed outside. There the Brotherhood awaited them with their leader. Ready to attack were the Scarlet Witch, Avalanche, Toad, Blob, Mystique, Pyro and Sabertooth.

"ALL RIGHT X-MEN TODAY IS YOUR JUDGEMENT DAY!" Their leader, a familiar form wearing black and red spandex and a cape floated above them. "TODAY I GET PAYBACK FOR WHAT YOU DID TO ME! SO SAYS…KILLER KELLY!"

Indeed the mutant leading the Brotherhood was none other than Edward Kelly himself.

"**Principal Kelly** is the new leader of the Brotherhood?" Kitty's jaw dropped.

"Yeah," Spyke groaned. "So you can imagine what our school day is like. I mean we get detentions every day!"

"While the Brotherhood gets away with murder," Shadowcat groaned. "Literally!"

"Kelly a mutant? How did **that** happen?" Scott yelled.

"When the Professor tried to wipe Kelly's mind after the soccer game incident, he kind of triggered a dormant mutation in his brain," Wolverine told him. "And turned him into a mutant."

"He's been a bit miffed about that since then," Nightcrawler explained. "And when he learned that the Brotherhood hated us…"

"They joined forces," Scott put two and two together.

"Killer Kelly? Last time we fought he was Kelly the Invincible," Rogue groaned. "This guy has a harder time choosing a codename than Jean."

"Ours finally did," Pietro told her. "It's Phoenix."

"Really?" Other Jean asked. "Why that one?"

"It's a long story," Jean sighed. "You see…"

"HELLO?" Brotherhood Kelly shouted. "LEADER OF THE BROTHERHOOD ATTACKING YOU HERE!"

"Hey who are these guys?" Toad asked. He pointed at Todd. "I gotta admit some of them are easy on the eyes!"

"He's easier on the nose too," Sabertooth sniffed.

"Well I have this soap which really helps with my gland problem," Todd explained.

"Really?" Toad asked. "How does it work?"

"LIKE ANY OTHER SOAP WOULD WORK YOU IDIOT!" Kelly shouted. "ATTACK! He changed into a liquid form similar to a spout of water and charged right at them.

Only to stop right in the middle of the air. "Okay this is weird…" Kelly blinked. "I…Can't move! Who's doing this?"

"That would be me," Althea told him.

"To answer you inquiry Nightcrawler, a hydrokinetic can manipulate water," Hank grinned.

"Oh crap…" Kelly gulped, his face barely visible in his liquid form.

"And I can do all sorts of things with it," Althea grinned.

"Uh listen," Kelly gulped. "Perhaps we got off on the wrong foot. Maybe we should talk about this?"

"Uh, let me think about it. I've thought about it. **No**," Althea grinned before she started to stretch Kelly's liquid body.

"SOMEBODY HELP ME!" Kelly shouted as he was stretched. "ATTACK HER YOU IDIOTS!"

"Let me try!" Pyro created a flaming dragon.

Which was immediately put out as Althea used Kelly's body to douse the flames. "Yeah use fire on a girl who can manipulate water," She snickered as she reformed Kelly's body into a ball. "Smart choice!"

"MY FIRE DRAGON!" Pyro sobbed. "SHE DESTROYED MR. FLICKERS!"

"Will you get a grip?" Scarlett Witch groaned as she slapped her head. "TOAD! ATTACK! TOAD?"

"So let me get this straight…" Toad said as he was writing something down. He was conferring with Toad. "This soap's made up of three parts aloe…"

"And oatmeal, don't forget the oatmeal," Todd said. "For any chafing."

"Ooh, yeah gotta take care of that chafing," Toad nodded as he scribbled down the words.

"Forget it!" Scarlet Witch threw up her hands. "I should have known **you **wouldn't be any help!"

"WELL NOBODY IS HELPING ME **NOW!"** Kelly screamed as Althea pulled on his watery body. "SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING! GET THE X-MEN!"

"Uh, which ones?" Blob scratched his head. "There are a lot more of them than usual. Maybe we should…?"

"JUST DO SOMETHING ALREADY!" Scarlet Witch shouted. The ground shook under her feet. "Avalanche?"

"You're mostly right," Lance grinned as he made a huge hole for her to fall in.

"AHHH!" Wanda screamed as she fell in.

"All right now I'm going to…" Sabertooth began when Jean telekinetically threw him up in the air. "Oh crap!" He was thrown against a wall and was knocked out.

"As much as I love to shake things up," Avalanche began to focus his powers when suddenly he was whacked on the head with Kelly's body. "OW!"

"HEY!" Scott and Cyclops said at the same time.

"I wanted to whack him," Scott grumbled.

"Me too," Cyclops said.

"You can get the next one," Althea grinned as she used Kelly's water body to slam into Lance again.

"YOU LET HIM GO!" Mystique charged at her. "NOBODY HURTS MY BOYFRIEND AND…AGGGHHH!" She was knocked backwards by Scott's optic blast.

"Okay I did **not** need to hear **that!"** Kurt moaned.

"Oh dear," Blob looked at the scene. He looked at the X-Men and Misfits. "I probably shouldn't attack you should I?"

"Let me guess?" Pietro folded his arms. "In this reality you're actually smart aren't you?"

"Oh yeah," Blob nodded energetically. "I can even do fractions!"

"Should we be doing something?" Shadowcat asked her team.

"Nah I think these guys have it covered," Wolverine chuckled as Althea used her powers to have Kelly whack his team as well as whatever solid object was around them. "I gotta admit, it was worth our Danger Room getting trashed to see Kelly get his!"

"Of course it doesn't hurt that the human body is about ninety percent water," Hank explained.

"I did not know that," Todd remarked. "Now I know."

"And knowing is…" Other Jean began to say.

"DON'T YOU SAY IT!" Jean snapped at her counterpart. "EVEN I'M STARTING TO HATE THAT JOKE!"

"What joke?" Other Jean was puzzled.

"Never mind," Jean moaned.

"Well there's one joke that never gets old," Lance grinned. "Good old fashioned Kelly torture."

"OW! OW! OWIE! OW! OW!" Kelly screamed as Althea used her powers to throw him all over the lawn and knock into statues and trees. "OH THAT HURTS! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! MOMMY! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW!"

"Well that explains why Althea can hurt Kelly in his liquid form," Lance blinked.

"OW! OW! NOT THE ROSEBUSH! OW! OW! NOT THE TREES! OWW! THAT REALLY HURTS! NOT THE ROSEBUSH **AGAIN!** OWWWWWWWW!" Kelly screamed as Althea tormented him. "NOT THE WALL! NOT THE WALL!"

"Boy that looks like it hurts," Blob blinked.

"IT DOES! YEOWWW! OW! OW! NOT THE WALL AGAIN!"

"Come on little flame…" Pyro was trying to coax a spark from his doused lighter. "Just light a little one for Daddy!"

"KELLY DO SOMETHING!" The Scarlet Witch snarled as she climbed out of the hole. "USE YOUR TELEKINEISIS FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!"

"I WOULD EXCEPT MY HEAD'S KILLING ME!" Kelly screamed as he was bounced around like a ball. "HELP!"

"Bouncy! Bouncy! Bouncy!" Althea grinned as she played with Kelly like a basketball. She spied a basketball court on the side of the mansion. "SHE SHOOTS! SHE SCORES!" She dunked Kelly into the basket.

"Ow…" Kelly reformed into his human self and was stuck in the basket. "I don't feel so good."

"Now that's funny!" Pietro laughed. Then he got zapped by a hex bolt. "OW!"

"SHUT UP!" A very angry disheveled Scarlet Witch growled as she finally crawled out of the hole. "JUST SHUT UP!"

"YOU SHUT UP! NOBODY ZAPS MY BROTHER EXCEPT ME!" Wanda shouted using her hex powers on the other Scarlet Witch. "Okay you **are** me but…YOU GET THE IDEA!"

Unfortunately the Scarlet Witch used her powers at the exact same time. As you might imagine, the two hex powers colliding at the exact same time and speed caused much more chaos than usual.

Just as Pyro finally created a flame. "OH YEAH BABY! RIGHT ON!" He cackled. Then he realized that he was right in the middle of the hex bolts. "Oh dear…This will be painful."

**BOOOOOOOM! **

"I'M BLASTING OFF!" Pyro was launched into the sky covered in flame. "OW! FIRE HURTS! HEY I CAN SEE THE SCHOOL GYM FROM HERE! AND IT'S COMING CLOSER REALLY FAST! UH OH…"

BOOM!

FOOM!

KAPOW!

A small blast of flame could be seen in the distance. It was almost as big as the one that currently engulfed the Institute.

"THE MANSION'S ON FIRE!" Shadowcat screamed.

"Oops," Wanda gulped.

"Way to go sis," Pietro said as he managed to wobble back on his feet.

"Well that worked halfway," Scarlet Witch blinked.

"I think it's time we left now," Blob picked up the bodies of a dazed Mystique and Sabertooth.

"STORM PUT OUT THE FIRE!" Wolverine ordered. Storm created a rainshower as the Brotherhood escaped.

"That was an interesting battle," Todd blinked.

"Well except for the Institute being totally wrecked," Kitty said.

"We also just set the school gym on fire again didn't we?" Scott groaned as he saw the smoke in the distance. "I recognize the smoke."

"Yup," Althea said. "And our counterparts don't look to happy."

"We gotta get out of here…" Lance groaned as the gang regrouped as their X-Men counterparts started to stalk towards them.

"Way ahead of you," Kurt took his turn using the IM NUTS device.

WHOOOOOSSSSHHHHHH!

WHUMPH! The mutants landed in a heap on the next stop.

"I tell you I am definitely not enjoying this mode of transportation," Hank grumbled as he got up. "Is everyone all right?"

"More or less," Jean groaned as she stood up. "Where are we this time?" They were standing in a large green meadow filled with brightly colored, sweet smelling flowers.

"Welcome Friends!" A happy yellow pony with a green mane clopped by. "Welcome to Ponyland! The happiest brightest sunniest land in the world! Tra la la la…I'm Flufferbunny! Enjoy your stay!" The pony ran off laughing.

"Okay," Lance blinked. "I think I would prefer a world filled with Sentinels."

"Again I agree with you," Scott admitted. A pink bunny rabbit hopped up to him and latched onto his leg. "This is a nightmare!"

"Talking ponies?" Jean was stunned. "Okay this is just plain nuts!"

"Of course its nuts," Kurt pointed to the logo on the machine. "Haven't you read the logo on this thing?"

More pink bunnies were hopping over. "Get off me!" Scott tried to shake them off his legs.

"Affectionate little buggers aren't they?" Pietro looked down at the rabbits on his legs. "YEOW! ONE OF THEM BIT ME!"

"Poor thing," Scott quipped. "It'll probably get rabies. OW! THEY'RE BITING ME TOO!"

"I'm starting to like these little guys," Wanda snickered. "Don't get me wrong. Normally I hate the color pink…"

"But they're so cute," Kitty went to pick one up. "OW! IT BIT ME!"

"They do kind of grow on you don't they?" Althea grinned to Wanda.

"I can't handle this…" Jean groaned.

"Then do yourself a favor," Althea told her. "Don't look over there."

"What do you mean?" Jean turned around. "Please tell me that's not…"

"Us over there? That's what it looks like all right," Lance blinked. A herd of multicolored unicorns were grazing and romping through the grass.

One unicorn had a bright red mane and was levitating apples with her horn. Another unicorn was chasing another brown unicorn and occasionally trying to zap him with it's eyes. The brown unicorn laughed and made the ground shake. There was a sea green unicorn with a long tongue with a blue unicorn with a webbed tail and gills. There was a familiar looking black unicorn with a metal horn and metal hooves chasing around another unicorn that was creating ice with its horn.

"Oh god no…" Jean buried her face in her hands.

"I told you not to look," Althea admonished.

"In this world there are no mutants, only unicorns with magic powers…" Hank thought. "Fascinating."

"That's not the word I would use!" Scott snapped as several more bunnies had appeared and were climbing all over him. "Get these things off of me!"

"In other words we're stuck in a My Little Pony cartoon," Pietro was trying to shake some of the rabbits off his arms and legs. "And these rabbits have a pretty strong grip!"

"Get off! Get off!" The bunnies were now climbing on Lance. "Help!"

"Great we're going to be mauled to death by pink bunnies," Scott moaned. "Even killer Sentinels would be better than this! This could not get any worse!"

SNORT!

"What are you doing in my field Bub?" The black metal horned unicorn was glaring at Scott.

"It just got worse didn't it?" Lance asked. "RUN!"

Kurt managed to teleport into a tree and watched how everyone ran from the pink bunny horde and the rampaging unicorn. Todd hopped up to join him. "Okay now this is really getting weird," Todd remarked. "Even for us!"

"Wait…Talking ponies?" Kurt thought aloud. "Where have I heard that before?"

"Tra, la, la la la!" A blue furred demon with long blue hair and a long tail like Kurt's came skipping by. He was wearing a pink and blue outfit and was throwing flowers everywhere.

"Ah," Kurt nodded. "Now I remember." He jumped down from the tree and looked at the demon.

"Hello there!" The blue demon waved. "Boy do you look familiar."

"You're Gobo I presume?" Kurt sighed.

"Yeah how did you know?" Gobo blinked.

"Let's just say this meeting pretty much follows the pattern of my life…" Kurt moaned. **(1)**

**(1) Check out Evolution XMJ for the origins of that joke. It's gonna get even weirder folks! Man am I having fun with this! He he…**


	5. What A Circus

**What A Circus**

"I can't believe you met your long lost brother yo," Todd remarked as the mutants landed into the next dimension.

"I wish he was still lost," Kurt groaned. "I'm glad he didn't want to come with us!"

"Wherever we are," Kitty said as she looked around. "Hey look!"

There was a huge tent and colorful balloons everywhere. XAVIER'S TRAVELLING X CIRCUS! THE GREATEST MUTANT SHOW IN THE WORLD!

"Wow! A circus!" Todd said. "Look at that billboard!"

There was a picture of Todd and Kurt in colorful leotards doing acrobatic tricks. The poster said THE AMAZING NIGHTCRAWLER AND THE TERRIFIC TOAD! THE WORLD'S GREATEST ACROBATS! "Wow." Kurt whistled. "We're famous!"

"So in this reality the Xavier Institute is a traveling circus?" Scott asked.

"The Xavier Institute was always a circus," Lance chuckled.

"How could it not be with you **clowns** coming over?" Scott snapped.

"Speaking of which," Althea pointed and giggled. There was a picture of Lance and Scott in clown makeup being hit by balls.

"This trip just keeps getting better," Scott groaned.

"Your trip has hardly begun," A familiar Southern voice spoke. They turned to a purple tent. The tent flap drew open. "Enter X-Men and Misfits."

"You know who we are?" Wanda asked as they walked in. To their surprise they saw seated at a table was Rogue. She was in her thirties with long hair wrapped up in a purple and red bandana with crystals attached to it. She wore a long purple and red gypsy coat over a black and red body outfit and black gloves.

"I'm a gypsy fortuneteller. I know things. That's what I do," Gypsy Rogue told them. "My adopted mama Destiny taught me everything about card telling. Well that and giving me some of her powers and teaching me to call on 'em whenever I wanted."

"Cool," Todd hopped on the chair and held out his hand. "Ooh! Ooh! Do me! Do me!"

"Don't ask for my talents like **that!"** Gypsy Rogue grabbed a newspaper and whacked him on the head. "It sounds perverted!"

"OW! Al, she hit me!" Todd whined.

"I gotta agree with her on this one Todd," Althea shrugged.

"Look I'm gonna tell all your fortunes for free for two reasons," Gypsy Rogue held up her hands. "One, apparently the fates brought you here for guidance and two it gives me something to do while waiting for Desperate Housewives to come on. Now I can only do one reading at a time so the rest of you have to wait outside. I'll do Kurt's first."

"Why him?" Todd whined. "I was here first!"

"To give you time to wash your smelly hands!" Gypsy Rogue smacked him again on the head. "Now go on! Git!"

"Al, she hit me again!" Todd whined as they left.

"Well honey you do need to wash your hands," Althea admitted as the others went outside.

"Okay, let's get this over with," Gypsy Rogue motioned. "Give me your hand and let me see."

"All right," Kurt put his hand in her gloved one. She stared at it intently. "What do you see?"

"A lot of fur," Gypsy Rogue told him. "Hmmm…Interesting."

"What is it?" Kurt asked. "What's my fortune?"

"A word of advice," Gypsy Rogue said. "No matter how tempted you are, don't join the priesthood!"

"What makes you say that?" Kurt was surprised.

"Let's just say it will save you a lot of heartache and angst down the road," Gypsy Rogue waved. "Not to mention a few less dead religious fanatics. Well maybe **that's** not such a bad thing."

"I really don't want to know any more about this do I?" Kurt asked.

"No," Gypsy Rogue shook her head. "NEXT!"

Kurt left and Hank walked in. "I believe it's my turn," Hank sat down and offered his palm.

"Again with the fur," Gypsy Rogue inspected it. "Oh boy…"

"What? What do you see?" Hank asked.

"Uh, let me ask you something," She asked. "Do you like cats?"

"Cats?" Hank was confused.

"Yeah cats," Gypsy Rogue nodded. "Lions particularly. You like lions?"

"I must admit I have certain affection as well as respect for the King of the Beasts," Hank shrugged. "Why?"

"Uh no reason," Gypsy Rogue lied. "Here's some advice. Follow your dream and learn to play the drums and forget about those piano lessons you've been thinking about."

"Oh, okay…" Hank blinked and stood up. "I confess that does help with my dilemma. But wait a minute, what was all that about cats?"

"NEXT!" Gypsy Rogue shouted. "Next person! Outta time! Move it along!"

Pietro zoomed in. "My turn!" He grinned.

"NO IT'S NOT!" Todd yelled outside.

"SHUT UP!" Pietro shouted back. He turned to Gypsy Rogue and held out his hand. "So…Tell me what great things I will do in the future."

"Well great is **one** way to describe them I suppose," Gypsy Rogue grimaced. "Hmmm…A lot of this depends on the actions of others."

"You mean like my publicist? I've been meaning to hire one…"

"No you idiot! I mean…" Gypsy Rogue sighed. "Your destiny and your sister's are closely tied together. You must help her and protect her in her times of need. If she chooses one path yours will follow a path of unforgivable betrayal, chaos, destruction and calamity."

"And if she chooses another?"

"Then it's just the usual chaos, destruction and calamity," Gypsy Rogue said. "Oh and you might wanna keep an eye on your wife too. On second thought just make sure you have a good divorce attorney lined up."

"But I'll still be rich and famous right?"

"Oh everyone will know **you** all right," Gypsy Rogue groaned. "NEXT!"

"AL!" Todd whined as Althea breezed in after Pietro.

"Oh hold your horses honey!" Althea shouted before she sat down. "Okay let 'er rip."

"Great power, destruction, chaos, insanity…" Gypsy Rogue read.

"Yeah yeah, I got that," Althea waved. "I'm Shipwreck's kid remember? Comes with the territory. But I get to marry Todd right? He ain't gonna run off on me is he?"

"Honey let's just say you were **made** for him and leave it at that," Gypsy Rogue sighed. "NEXT!"

"That was quick," Wanda said as she walked in and a very happy Althea skipped out. "She asked about Toad didn't she?"

"You didn't need to be a psychic to see that," Gypsy Rogue groaned. "Come on let's get this over with."

"Well okay," Wanda showed Gypsy Rogue her palm. "What do you see?"

"Chaos, insanity, mayhem…" She replied.

"**Besides** that."

"Okay here's some advice and I want you to listen to it," Gypsy Rogue told her. "Never marry an android!"

"O-kay," Wanda blinked.

"I mean it. Don't marry one."

"Okay, I think I can handle that," Wanda said cautiously.

"There's more," Gypsy Rogue held up her hands. "Your mutant gift to alter probabilities is very powerful! I mean **really** powerful! So keep this in mind! **Don't **use them to create other dimensions where mutants are in charge. **Don't** use them to create fake kids! **Don't** use your powers to destroy your friend's homes! Okay the Institute I can understand. It will get blown up six or seven times anyway that's a given. But most importantly of all when using your hex powers, **never**, and I mean **never, ever, ever** under **any **circumstances say **no more mutants!** You got that?"

"Okay," Wanda was confused. "Let me see if I get this straight, don't marry an android, don't blow up friend's homes, don't create alternate dimensions or fake kids and never say no more mutants. Is that all?"

"You want me to write it down for you?"

"No, I think I've got it," Wanda said. "Is that all?"

"Yeah you're going to spend a lot of time in therapy but believe me it will help," Gypsy Rogue sighed.

"With friends and family like mine that's **also** a given," Wanda got up.

"Oh by the way," Gypsy Rogue called out. "In this reality you're the star dancer while your brother cleans up after the animals. Just thought you'd know. Thought it would make you feel better."

"Thanks! You know I do feel better already!" Wanda grinned and left the tent.

"Boy **that** was a close call," Gypsy Rogue whistled. "NEXT!"

"All right I gotta go next!" Kitty phased into the tent.

"You wanna know about who you should end up with," Gypsy Rogue rolled her eyes. "Great! This again…Your counterpart used to ask me the same stupid thing every other week!"

"Well do me a favor and don't give me any crappy line about following my heart or anything like that," Kitty said.

"Do I look like Oprah Winfrey to you?" Gypsy Rogue snapped. "Give me your hand."

"So like what should I do?" Kitty said. "I need help."

"That's pretty obvious. I know a few good psychiatrists…"

"I'm serious! What do I do?"

"Peter," Gypsy Rogue said. "Keep Peter, dump Lance. That helpful enough for you?"

"Why do people always say that?" Kitty shouted. "Just because Lance has problems…"

"And one of them is **you!**" Gypsy Rogue snapped. "Hate to tell you this girl, no wait I'm actually going to enjoy telling you this but Lance would be a lot better off without you."

"What?" Kitty shouted.

"Time to face reality Kitty, what are you really doing with Lance when you clearly moved on to Peter?" Gypsy Rogue asked. "The truth is the only reasons you were attracted to Lance were his looks and his rebel attitude. You don't really love him the way he loves you. And that's not right."

"Are you saying I'm shallow?"

"Bingo!"

"I am not shallow!"

"Please, you could stand up straight in a ditch and still your nose wouldn't poke out of it," Gypsy Rogue waved.

"I didn't come here to be insulted!" Kitty stood up and walked out.

"Really, where do you usually go?" Gypsy Rogue asked. "NEXT!"

"My turn," Lance walked in.

"Oh boy," Gypsy Rogue moaned. "Lance you're in for a bit of a rough time."

"But you haven't even looked at my palm yet."

"That's how bad it is," Gypsy Rogue said.

"Kitty's gonna dump me isn't she?" Lance groaned as he sat down.

"Well if it's that obvious why do you wanna stay with her?" She asked.

"Because I'm stupid and I'm in love with her," Lance told her. "Not necessarily in that order…"

"No, that sounds about right," Gypsy Rogue said.

"I'm not **that** stupid you know?" Lance said. "I know she loves him. I know she's fallen for him but as long as there's a chance…As long as there's a small part of her that still loves me. I gotta keep trying. That's why I've kind of been faking it a little."

"Faking it?"

"Pretending to eat her stuff and get sick," Lance said. "So she'd feel guilty and not break up with me. Then of course I'd feel guilty about making her guilty so I'd actually eat her food and then get sick…Oh god I am sick. I need help."

"Give me your hand," Gypsy Rogue sighed and looked at it. "You've got one shot left."

"Really? I do?" Lance asked hopefully.

"Shut up and listen," Gypsy Rogue told him. "This journey you are on was no accident. You are going to see things in different lights and learn about each other. Observe what you see carefully and learn. If you both learn enough, maybe…I'm saying **maybe** you two will remain together."

"And if we don't?" Lance asked.

"That's it," Gypsy Rogue shrugged. "But if you make you feel better the next five relationships you'll have if you do break up with Kitty you'll get lucky."

"I don't care!" Lance told her. "I'll do whatever it takes to win Kitty's heart! I am committed to this relationship and…When you say lucky do you mean what I think you mean?"

"Yup."

"Really? Five?" Lance blinked. "That many?"

"Well there's technically six but you'll only get to sleep with five of them," Gypsy Rogue shrugged.

"Well still five out of six, those are great odds," Lance thought. "No, no! I'm going to win Kitty back! I just know it!" He stood up. "I'm going to do it! I will win her back!"

He got halfway out of the tent before he stopped and turned around. "These other women, just in case the worst does happen…Over how long a time period will go by before I meet them all? What five years? Two years? Can you give me a ballpark figure here?"

"I thought you had trouble with sex due to your childhood?" Gypsy Rogue asked.

"I've been doing a lot of therapy for that. Not to mention sleeping with Willow helped. But if these five women you say I'm going to be with are...you know, nice and affectionate...and loving...and not into bondage I think I could deal with it. You wouldn't happen to know what they look like do you?"

"Will you just get out of here?" Gypsy Rogue pointed to the exit.

"Don't get me wrong I want Kitty but according to you no matter what happens I make out pretty good," Lance said. "I mean it's a win-win situation right?"

"NEXT!" Gypsy Rogue shouted.

"Okay! You gotta read my palm next!" Todd hopped in.

"Fine! Here, let me see!" Gypsy Rogue sighed and took a look. Immediately she went pale.

"So whadda see?" Todd asked. "Good stuff right?"

"Oh yeah…" Gypsy Rogue gulped. "Lots of good stuff. You'll…You'll become more powerful. Real powerful."

"Really?"

"Yeah, uh you guys are going to leave this dimension pretty soon right?" She asked. "I mean right after this you're gonna go?"

"Oh yeah," Todd nodded excitedly. "So I'm gonna be an all powerful ninja right?"

"Yeah, that sounds pretty good," Gypsy Rogue gulped. "Why don't you go and send in the next person okay?"

"Okay! Thanks for the reading Nice Rogue!" Todd happily hopped away.

"Oh man thank God they're not staying in this dimension," Gypsy Rogue moaned. "NEXT!"

"Okay…" Jean walked in.

"Talk about out of the frying pan and into the fire…" Gypsy Rogue moaned.

"This is about the Phoenix Force isn't it?" Jean sighed.

"Among other things," Gypsy Rogue sighed.

"Okay I don't really want to know the future, how about just some advice?" Jean asked.

"I can do that," She nodded. "Make sure that lying whore Emma Frost stays as far away from your man as possible!"

"You gotta be kidding me," Jean was flabbergasted. "I am possessed by a supernatural force that could possibly overtake me and make me destroy everyone I care about. And all you can talk about is somebody trying to steal Scott away from me?"

"Pretty much yeah," Rogue shrugged her shoulders.

"This was a waste of time," Jean grumbled as she stood up. "Scott and Emma Frost. Like **that** will ever happen in **any** lifetime!"

"Can't say I didn't warn her," Rogue sighed. "NEXT!"

"Why is Jean so upset?" Scott asked as he walked in.

"You're gonna be asking that question a lot," Gypsy Rogue snickered.

"I know, I know…" Scott sighed as he showed her his palm.

"Oh man this is worst one of all!" Gypsy Rogue said. "I mean I've seen some bad futures before but **you!** Whoo! Talk about bad luck!"

"Yeah I gathered that," Scott's face was grim.

"I mean talk about bad! Nothing but chaos, destruction, death, insanity, more destruction, more insanity, a little more death…"

"Wonderful," Scott said in a deadpan voice.

"I mean what did you do? Break a couple hundred mirrors while walking under a ladder in a room full of black cats?"

"Yeah I get the picture here…"

"And your family? Whooo! Man I thought Nightcrawler's was complicated! This makes his family look like the Waltons! Lots of screwed up family issues there!"

"That's just great," Scott drawled sarcastically. "Look…"

"Man nothing but doom, disaster and trouble for you."

"Okay I…"

"This palm here is like the Jackpot of Doom! Do you know there are gypsies out there that tell legends of palms like this? I never thought I'd see one this bad in my lifetime!"

"All right you don't have to rub it in," Scott snapped.

_"Doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom. Doom-dah! Doom-dah!"_ Gypsy Rogue sang. _"Doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom Oh the Doom-day Day!"_

"Very funny! Now listen..."

_"Gonna be doom all night! Gonna be doom all day..."_

"ENOUGH! I GET THE MESSAGE!" Scott shouted.

"Sorry, couldn't resist," Gypsy Rogue shrugged. "Sometimes I get a little slap happy being stuck in a tent reading idiots' fortunes all day."

"Wonderful, is there anything good in my life? Anything helpful?" Scott asked sarcastically. "Or is that too much to ask for me?"

"No, there are some good things," Gypsy Rogue told him. "You'll have some nice family surprises this year. If you look at it one way…Uh you and Jean might get married. That is if the Phoenix Force doesn't make her crazy and blow your world up to kingdom come along with a few other of her little friends…"

"Other friends?"

"Let's just say things are going to get interesting in your world," Gypsy Rogue said as she stood up.

"And it was such a nice quiet place too," Scott grumbled. "Thanks a lot for the free readings!"

"Well it's the least I can do," Gypsy Rogue started to pack. "Since you guys close the circus down and I can run off with my boyfriend Logan to start that restaurant in LA."

"What do you mean close down the circus?" Scott asked.

"Oh you know, when the Toad decides to go play with some animal friends and accidentally lets all the elephants loose," Gypsy Rogue said. "And at the same time Jean sees Emma Frost as an animal tamer cozying up to our Cyclops the clown and throws the both of them halfway across the field. Of course when she does that his glasses will come loose and his optic beams will set fire to the tent."

"What?" Scott blinked.

"By then of course everyone is already panicking due to the earthquake Lance has caused," Gypsy Rogue kept packing. "Mostly out of a jealous rage when he sees Kitty drooling over Colossus the Strong Man. That earthquake will bring down and knock out half of the concession stands. That includes the donut fry which will set fire to the **other **half of the concession stands."

"Are you sure?"

"Oh yeah," Rogue said. "No one is going to die but needless to say with all the animals escaping, and all the equipment destroyed…Well…You can see where I'm going with this."

"Come Rogue that can't…" Scott began.

RARRRRR! An elephant roar could be heard.

BOOM!

"AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

ZAP!

FOOM!

RRRRRRUMMMMBLE!

BOOM!

FOOM!

"FIRE!"

"What am I saying?" Scott put his face in his hands. "Of course it could happen!"

"It did happen. I'd run out there if I were you," Gypsy Rogue said. "Nice meeting you. Hope you life doesn't turn out to be a huge failure."

"Thanks a lot!" Scott groaned as he ran out to see the chaos she described happening.

"FIRE! FIRE! WATCH OUT FOR THE ELEPHANTS! WATCH OUT FOR THE GIRAFFES! WATCH OUT FOR THE TIGERS! YEOW!" People screamed as they ran for their lives.

"Is this going to be a running gag?" Scott groaned. "No matter where we go we wreck something?"

"If you're just noticing this **now**, Summers…" Lance gave him a look. "I mean where hell have you been these past five years?"

"Five?" Todd asked. "I thought it was six?"

"Six? That can't be right," Lance thought. "Is it?"

"I'm shocked that it's more than five," Kurt admitted. "It can't be more than five can it?"

"It seems like forever to me," Scott groaned.

"Well let's see," Pietro thought. "We all first met up in the fall of …"

"WILL YOU GUYS JUST SHUT UP AND RUN?" Kitty yelled. The Misfits and X-Men took off for the hills and safety so they could transport in time, since the thirty minutes weren't up yet.

Outside the tent Wolverine was there on his Harley and a sidecar. "It happened just like you said. Ready to go Darlin'?"

"You bet! We're off to LA, Logan," Gypsy Rogue put on some sunglasses. "But first, let's hit Vegas baby!"

Meanwhile the mutants managed to escape far enough and were able to use the IM NUTS device. The next thing they knew they were sitting in some seats in an auditorium. "Hey! This was a good landing!" Todd commented. "I think we're getting the hang of this stuff."

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" Kurt moaned. "Because I really don't want to get used to going from one crazy dimension to the next."

"Well this reality couldn't be any weirder than the reality we left," Scott grumbled.

Suddenly the lights went out. "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!" They heard Professor X's voice. "WELCOME TO THE X-MEN SHOW! THE GREATEST STAGE ON EARTH!"

"WHAT?" Jean yelled.

The stage lit up and all the X-Men were there in gold costumes that reminded the gang of the opening credits of Family Guy. _"ONE! Singular mutation! DNA is all it takes! ONE! Thrilling evolution! Causes fires, floods and earthquakes!" _

"Okay I guess it **could** get weirder," Scott blinked. "We gotta get out of here!"

"What and miss the floor show?" Todd asked.


	6. The Mandatory Gender Swap Chapter

**The Mandatory Gender Swap Chapter**

"These rides are getting crazier and crazier," Lance groaned as he picked himself up from where they landed.

"And it's about to get crazier again," Hank pointed to the large lasers aimed at them. "Three guesses where we are and the first two don't count!"

"Oh man!" Scott snapped as he blasted the weapons. "How could we land in the Danger Room **again?**"

"MORE BIG SHARP POINTY THINGS!" Pietro yelled as he ran. "AAAHHH! MORE VERY BIG SHARP POINTY THINGS!"

"Hey at least we're getting our target practice in," Wanda shrugged as she used her hex bolts to disable several of them.

"AHHHHH!" Jean shouted as she used her powers to disable the rest of the weapons.

"Wow Jean you're getting better at this," Todd blinked.

"What the hell is going on here?" A gruff voice shouted out. "Who the hell are you?"

"Didn't we already go **through** this?" Pietro groaned. "Listen…WOLVERINE?" His jaw dropped when he saw a well built woman in a black and tan uniform with medium length black hair and claws. In fact she looked almost like an adult version of X-23.

"How do you know my name?" She snorted. "And why do you all look…and smell familiar?"

"Look this is going to be hard to believe," Scott groaned. "But we're from another dimension."

"I don't believe it," The Female Wolverine snarled.

"They're telling the truth, Logana," A bald woman in an elegant tan pantsuit and a wheelchair entered the room. "I can sense it."

"Logana?" Lance blinked.

"Xavier?" Pietro was stunned.

"I lost my hair due to illness when I was young," The Female Xavier smirked wryly. "And my name is Charlene Xavier. Not Charles Xavier."

"You read my mind?" Pietro asked.

"That's not exactly hard to do," Jean gave him a look.

"You saying these people are who they say they are?" Logana asked. "That they're us?"

"Well not all of us are X-Men," Althea explained. "It's kind of a long story."

"Come into my briefing room," Charlene said. "I believe we have much to discuss."

"Fine," Hank nodded. "By the way do you have any grape juice?"

"Are you thirsty?" Logana asked.

"No we need it for our machine," Althea explained.

"Okay," Logana gave her a look.

Soon they found themselves in a room with a huge table and several computer monitors that looked very similar to their own war room with several adult versions of the X-Men. "These are my X-Women," Charlene Xavier introduced them. "James Gray, telepath and telekinetic." A tall man with medium length red hair and a black and green uniform smiled.

"X-**Women?**" Scott asked.

"I always said that name was rather sexist," James smirked.

"Scarlett Summers, optic blasts," Charlene Xavier continued. A tall slim woman with short brown hair, black uniform and familiar optic visor was next. "She's the leader of the team."

"Whoa," Lance blinked. "Only time I'll ever enjoy to see Cyclops."

"If you want to blast him go right ahead," Scott said to his counterpart. "Go ahead, I don't mind."

"And you can skip who has what powers too," Althea said. "I think we can figure out who does what for obvious reasons."

"Henrietta McCoy," There was a tall blue furred woman with long blue hair in a swimsuit and a lab coat.

"Henrietta?" Hank blinked. "Salutations. I am Hank McCoy."

"Hank," Henrietta nodded. "Greetings, you are a doctor I presume?"

"I am and I assume you are as well?" Hank asked.

"Naturally Doctor," Henrietta grinned.

"Doctor," Hank nodded.

"Doctor, Doctor…" Pietro made mocking bows. Wanda smacked him on the back of his head. "OW!"

"While you're at it, blast **him **too," Scott told his counterpart.

"Cat Pryde, and Kassandra Wagner," Charlene Xavier continued the introductions. A young man with short brown hair in a blue uniform was standing next to a blue haired female in a red and black uniform. She had a tail and hands just like Kurt.

"And we're dating in case you two were wondering," Kassandra grinned at Kurt and Kitty.

"Uh actually…" Lance raised his hand. "Those two aren't." He pointed at Kurt and Kitty. "Kitty and I are. Kurt's dating a human."

"A human?" Cat was surprised.

"A sorceress in training actually," Kurt explained. "It's a long story."

"Roberta Drake, Pietra Rasputin," Charlene Xavier continued. There was a young woman with brown hair in an ice blue uniform and a tall woman with rugged features and short black hair in a red and black uniform.

"Once again, the only time I'm glad to see Colossus," Lance chuckled.

"And once again feel free to pulverize Avalanche," Scott told them. "Please!"

"Reina LeBeau and Andrew Mark Darkholme, otherwise known as Rogue," Next was a tall young woman with red on black eyes, long reddish brown hair in a messy ponytail, black uniform with a trench coat. Next to her was a young man with brown hair and a familiar white streak wearing a green and black uniform and gloves.

"Bonjour monsieur," Renia took Pietro's hand and kissed it. "A pleasure to meet you."

"Geeze Swamp Rat do you have to hit on anything in pants?" Andrew groaned.

"You have to admit he has good taste," Pietro said.

"This is getting weirder and weirder," Wanda groaned.

"Professor who are these people?" Scarlett asked.

"I believe these are your counterparts from another dimension," Charlene Xavier finished.

"In other words in this world all the girls are guys and all the guys are girls," Kitty said. "Weird."

"At least they're not all unicorns," Kurt told her.

"What?" Cat looked at him.

"Don't ask," He groaned.

"Let's just say we've been in a few fun universes already," Althea explained.

"So you're…girls," Pietro coughed. "How's that working for you?"

"Fine, how's being an idiot working for **you?**" Roberta snapped.

"I guess it must be a new experience for you to see yourselves as the opposite gender," James grinned.

"Not exactly," Kurt sighed.

"Actually we do know what its like," Wanda explained. "We've had a few run ins with a mutant named Switch who had the ability to switch bodies. And we've ended up in each other's bodies from time to time."

"They were interesting experiences to say the least," Jean winced at the memory.

"Interesting? I still have nightmares of watching me and Summers kiss," Lance shuddered. "Don't ask."

"Believe me you don't want to know," Scott shuddered as well.

"Yeah well at least Pyro didn't hijack your body and run around naked," Pietro grinned. "Right Kitty?"

"Okay who wants to help me kill Pietro? Anybody?" Kitty shouted.

"Sounds like you kids have had a few interesting adventures," Andrew chuckled.

"I can't believe you're all so…" Kassandra said. "Young. And you all fight?"

"Well yeah," Wanda shrugged. "Mutants have just been recently outed in our world and we were kind of on the forefront of it."

"You mean everyone knows about the Institute?" Cat was surprised.

"Kind of hard for people not to know," Scott groaned. "We end up on the six o clock news every other night!"

Soon the mutants were having a semi-pleasant conversation. During which the gang learned about the world they had fallen into. All the X-Women were adults and their identities were kept a secret in this female dominated world that hated and feared them. The conversation was going well until the topic turned to dating.

"So you and him are dating?" Cat was surprised pointing at Lance.

"Yeah we are," Kitty said.

"She was also dating Colossus back in our world too," Todd added.

"It's so weird," Cat said. "I mean our Avalanche is part of the Sisterhood. Who would have thought one of them would be an X-Woman, er I mean X-Man?"

"I'm not an X-Man," Lance pointed out.

"Not for lack of trying," Scott grumbled underneath his breath.

"Some of us are part of a group called the Misfits," Althea explained. "But we work with the X-Men from time to time."

"When you and your insane army friends aren't mooching our food and wrecking stuff," Scott told her.

"Army friends?" Logana raised an eye. "You mean the army knows where the X-men live?"

"Know about it? They come over all the time!" Scott told them. "They show up nearly every day!"

"Hey remember the time Spirit and the Blind Master went into the Danger Room and…?" Pietro began.

"You let the **army** go into your **Danger Room?"** Logana's jaw dropped.

"Well, not too much since they always seem to wreck it," Scott said feebly.

"How can mere humans wreck the Danger Room?" Henrietta asked.

"Nothing 'mere' about **these** humans," Althea snorted.

"To be fair, GI Joe isn't exactly a typical military unit," Hank pointed out.

"GI JOE?" Logana roared. "As in the male equivalent to GI JANE? You **work **with those **maniacs?"**

"Am I to infer from the tone of your voice that you don't?" Hank asked.

"Kind of hard to work with people who try to throw you in jail all the time," Roberta snorted. "Call us a bunch of vigilantes."

"Well aren't you?" Pietro asked. "I mean Al, Toad, Lance, Wanda and myself work for 'em and we…"

"YOU'RE ARMY MUTANTS?" Logana was stunned and shot out her claws.

"Yeah the Misfits are Army Mutants! You got a problem with that?" Althea put her hands on her hips.

"You're damn right we do!" Reina shouted. Many of the X-Women became angry.

"I knew there was something I didn't like about 'em!" Logana snarled. "Traitors! The lot of 'em!"

"Wolverine stop it!" James shouted. "They aren't even from **our** army for crying out loud!"

"What's wrong with army mutants?" Wanda asked.

"Besides the fact that they give the rest of mutant kind a bad name with their wanton destruction and willingness to hunt down any mutant?" Henrietta gave her a look.

"But the Misfits aren't like that," Jean said. "Well the hunting down mutants part anyway…."

"As you may have guessed mutants that choose to work with the army don't exactly have the best reputations," Andrew shrugged. "They're viewed as the lowest of the low among mutants. Most of the time because they're the ones who are responsible for throwing other mutants in jail."

"I can't tell you how many times they've done it or tried to do it to us over the years," Scarlett agreed. "There's one called Frost, he was a former student of the Professors. And what did he do? He joined the army and made a machine just like Cerebra to track down other mutants. If it wasn't for our anti mutant detection scanners we'd be on the run constantly."

"Not all army mutants are bad," Charlene Xavier told Logana. "There are those who want to make positive changes within the military."

"Really? And **which** ones are the good ones?" Logana snorted. "Sabertooth? Maverick? Everest Frost? Mysterio?"

"The last one's Kassandra's father," Cat explained. "A role model for terrorists if there ever was one."

"And let's not forget Forge who created that nullifier weapon that stole Storm's powers!" Logana shouted. "If it wasn't for her Storm would never have left for Africa and married that Black Panther Queen!"

"Yeah that was a **real** help!" Reina snapped.

"To be honest that weapon was supposed to be used on me," Andrew said quietly. "I did kill off one of their operatives when I was working for the Sisterhood."

"That's still no excuse for 'em to make a weapon that could have been used on all mutants!" Pietra told him. She glared at Lance. "Any mutant willing to do that to another mutant cannot be trusted."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Lance glared at her.

"Such relationships between two different groups of mutants…" Charlene Xavier sighed. "Often puts a strain on everyone."

"You have no idea how right you are," Pietro groaned.

"Take my advice Kitty," Cat said. "You can't trust army mutants. They'll turn on you the first chance they'll get."

"Now wait a minute," Lance fumed. "It's not like that with Kitty and me!"

"Can you honestly say that you've never been pitted against the Misfits when they had orders to do something?" Henrietta folded her arms.

"Well…" Hank paused. "When you put it that way…"

"One time!" Althea said. "And the only reason we couldn't was because General Kincaid had friends higher up."

"Kincaid? You have a Kincaid in your universe too?" Logana growled. "Oh this I gotta hear."

"But that's not what you think…" Lance began. "We did go against orders."

"Yeah once the Sentinels started to go out of control," Kitty folded her arms.

"You were working with Sentinels?" Kassandra gasped.

"No!" Kitty shook her head. "I didn't mean to imply that. Kincaid was using the Sentinels to run a mutant concentration camp called Neverland."

"I rest my case!" Cat glared at Lance.

"Hey! We put a stop to that!" Lance defended himself.

"It's true," Jean agreed. "If it wasn't for the Misfits…"

Pietra slammed her fist on the desk. "Listen! Army mutants just can't be trusted! We learned that lesson the hard way."

"Why?" Lance challenged. "I thought the point of you X-Geeks was to learn to get along with humans? Isn't that what army mutants do?"

"Getting along is one thing, **collaborating **is another!" Pietra snapped.

"Hey wait a minute," Scott held up his hands. "Now I may not be the Misfits' biggest fan but even **I **know they're not collaborators."

"You have no idea what GI Joe did for us!" Wanda argued. "They took us in when no one else would! They trained us and took care of us."

"Yeah and they showed us that not all humans are bad," Todd pointed out. "They proved that humans and mutants can get along."

"As long as they're completely insane…" Scott said. He winced. "Sorry, force of habit."

"What Scott's trying to say is that if even these guys can turn around," Jean began. "There's always hope for a peaceful coexistence."

"Although maybe 'peaceful' isn't exactly the perfect word as far as the Misfits are concerned," Scott said. "Uh sorry…I just can't help myself."

"Summers if you want to defend the Misfits…" Pietro winced. "Do us a favor, **don't!"**

"Maybe your GI Joe is the exception to the rule," Pietra snorted. "But who's to say what will happen when their loyalties are tested? What makes you so sure that they won't side with the humans when push comes to shove?"

"Well if that isn't the pot calling the kettle black…" Lance grunted.

"What do you mean by that remark?" Pietra glared at him.

"He means that you X-Geeks, no matter what dimension you're from don't exactly have the best reputations among mutants either," Pietro told the Russian woman. "Can you honestly tell me that you haven't made any enemies among mutants for your ideas?"

"But that's completely different!" Cat said. "Those other mutants want to exterminate humans or commit crimes!"

"Oh really?" Lance gave Scott a look. "I can think of at least **five** different times our X-Men have bent the law more than a little. I'm willing to bet you ladies have done the same."

"Yeah if you…" Scott began then stopped. He looked at Lance. "Five? How do you get **five?"**

"Well the whole Bayville Sirens thing for starters," Lance told him. "When the girls formed a vigilante group."

"I see we're going back to **that** again," Kitty sighed.

"And when you hid Mr. McCoy from the cops when his mutation got out of control?" Lance added. "That's aiding and abetting."

"All right that's two," Scott counted. "But other than that…"

"Are you nuts?" Todd asked. "What about the Tater Tot incident?"

"That does **not **count!" Scott snapped. "Alvers started it!"

"Scott, you did overreact and wave that knife around," Kurt pointed out. "All over a bunch of tater tots."

"Tater tots?" Scarlett asked. "What's all this about tater tots?"

"It's not important because **it doesn't count!"** Scott told her.

"Scott, you had just as much to do with trashing the cafeteria on Capitol Hill as Lance," Jean told her boyfriend. "Technically wrecking a government building and causing a minor riot is a federal crime. It **counts!"**

"**Technically wrecking** a government building?" Renia's jaw dropped. "A **minor **riot? Mon Deiu! These boys are nuts!"

"Well you know how unstable men's hormones are," Kassandra shrugged.

"Wait let me see if I understand the situation," Charlene Xavier held up her hand. "The two of you used your powers as well as knives in front of a crowd sending them into a panic as well as wrecking your Capitol Building? And you did this over tater tots?"

"What is it with men and tater tots?" Logana was shocked. "Was it the time of the month for you boys or something?"

"It wasn't **knives**, it was **a knife**," Scott corrected. "One of those regular knives you get with the rest of the silverware. And I only accidentally used my powers when Alvers shoved me back with his earthquake."

"That's how the chandelier was destroyed as well as the holes in the walls and the ceilings were made," Althea quipped. "So to answer your question, yes."

"I wouldn't have done it if Lance hadn't used his powers on me!" Scott snapped.

"What else was I supposed to do? The guy was waving a knife in my face!" Lance told them.

"It was just a little knife and I wasn't waving it in your face!" Scott turned on him.

"It was a steak knife and **yes **you were!" Lance snapped. He waved his hand right in front of Scott's face. "You were waving it around like **that!"**

"I was **not **waving it like **that!**" Scott waved his hand under Lance's nose. "It was more like that!" He casually waved his hand to the side.

"You were not waving it like that!" Lance snapped. "YOU WERE WAVING IT LIKE **THAT!"** Lance thrust his hand in front of Scott's face and waved it.

"Don't wave you hand like that in front of my face!" Scott repeated the action to Lance.

"**You **were the one who started waving things in my **face!**" Lance repeated the action to Scott.

"Are they **always** like this?" James whispered to Jean as Lance and Scott continued arguing and waving.

"Actually this is one of their **good **days," Jean sighed.

"Stop waving your hand in my face!" Scott made an even more exaggerated motion and accidentally hit Lance.

"You did that on purpose!" Lance shouted and hit Scott in the face.

"No, but I'm doing **this** on purpose!" Scott made a fist and hit Lance.

"That's it!" Lance shouted as he made a fist and slugged Scott.

He also knocked off his glasses which sent out his optic blasts. "RUN!" Todd yelled. Everyone got out of the way as Scott accidentally blasted the computers.

BOOOM!

"Uh oh…" Scott gulped as he managed to get his glasses back on and see the small fire and the huge pile of rubble that was a computer console.

"Oops," Lance gulped.

"Way to go guys!" Jean threw up her hands. "You did it again!"

"He started it!" Both Lance and Scott pointed at each other.

"Thank god women are in control of our universe," Roberta grumbled as she used her ice powers to put out the fire.

"Uh that wasn't anything important was it?" Kurt asked. "Like defense systems or anything?"

"That console wasn't linked to our defenses but it was equally important," Scarlett groaned.

"Uh what exactly did that do hickey thing do?" Todd asked.

"It shielded the entire mansion from mutant detection scanners," Scarlett glared at them. "Great! We've got to get them up and running again before…"

"ALERT! ALERT! SENINELS DETECTED!" The mansion's defense system warned as a red light flashed all over the room.

"The Sentinels show up," Scarlett groaned. She looked at the outside monitors. Seven giant silver robots that looked poorly constructed had landed on the grounds.

"Those things are getting faster aren't they?" Roberta gulped.

"I think I'm beginning to see **why** you kids have a hard time keeping secrets," Logana growled at the X-Men and Misfits.

"We can help fight them," Scott offered.

"Trashing the Sentinels is easy," Andrew groaned as he pointed to the screen. The lasers on the mansion's front lawn were dealing with the invading robots rather successfully. However every time a Sentinel was destroyed, another landed to take it's place. And then be destroyed.

"It's keeping outta sight that's the problem. They're like mosquitoes. They can be swatted but they're always around!" Andrew explained.

"Great! We're going to have to move again!" James threw up his hands. "Just when we finally got wireless internet service and a new Starbucks in town!"

"We should still help," Scott said.

"I think we've done enough," Hank gulped as he turned on the IM NUTS device. "Perhaps we should make a hasty retreat?"

"Beast we can't just leave them and…" Kitty began when she noticed that the X-Women seemed to prepare to attack them.

"If you don't go **now,**" Logana unsheathed her claws. "We'll throw you out the door right in the path of the Sentinels!"

"Maybe we should," Reina snorted. "That way it'll slow 'em down long enough for us to make an escape!"

"Not a bad idea," Pietra agreed. "Let's get them."

"Okay time to go!" Scott said quickly as the gang teleported to the next world.

"AND DON'T COME BACK!" Logana roared after them. "JERKS!"

"Well what did you expect?" Reina snorted. "They have a bunch of **men **leading them!"

"That does explain a lot," Henrietta sighed as they prepared to attack the Sentinels on the front lawn. "No wonder their universe is so screwed up!"


	7. All New Really Different Realites

**All New Really Different Realities**

"I am really getting sick of not knowing where we are all the time," Kitty rubbed her sore behind as she stood up.

"Good news, we're back at Bayville High again," Althea quipped. They were on the student quad outside. "Looks like we get another chance to out our alternates."

"We are not doing **that** again," Scott growled at her.

"Says the guy who wrecked not one, but **two** buildings so far this trip," Pietro quipped.

"Hey look over there," Kitty pointed. Walking to the school were slightly older versions of Sam, Tabitha, Jubilee, Jamie, Amara, Roberto, Ray and Rahne. They looked like any typical seniors in high school.

"Hi there!" A cheerful voice surprised them. They turned around and saw Duncan Matthews dressed in a preppy outfit. "Are you guys new students from the Xavier Institute?"

"Uh how did you…?" Althea began when they noticed that neither Kurt nor Hank had their image inducers turned on. (Well Hank didn't have one in the first place.) "Oh yeah…Right."

"I heard the X-Men were supposed to get new students," Duncan shrugged. "I kind of figured you were with that group."

"You mean, those are the X-Men?" Jean pointed. "You know about them?"

"Everybody knows about them," Duncan said. "They're really cool. Hey would you like me to show you guys around?"

"Wow a reality where Duncan isn't a jerk," Kitty whispered to Jean.

"I guess it had to happen sometime," Jean shrugged.

"So in this reality the New Mutants are the original X-Men," Althea put it together.

"Reality?" Duncan asked.

"It's a long story," Hank sighed.

"Are you a new teacher?" Duncan asked. "Cool. We finally get another mutant teacher besides Mrs. Darkholme."

"You mean people don't mind mutants here?" Wanda asked.

"Hell no," Duncan shrugged. "I mean compared to the giant robots…"

"Giant robots?" Lance asked. "What giant robots?"

BRANNNGG! BRANNNGG!

An alarm sounded all over the school as several giant robots appeared in the sky. "Oh **those **giant robots," Lance gulped.

"Shall we run for our lives?" Todd asked.

"Yes!" Kurt said. "Let's do!"

"BATTLE STATIONS!" They heard Tabitha cry out.

"Battle stations?" Jean asked.

Before their eyes they saw the school transform into a fortress with laser cannons and blast shields. "Well it's quite obvious the faculty lounge is more up to date than most schools," Hank blinked.

"Stay with me," Duncan told them as he grabbed a helmet out and a large weapon out of his backpack. "We can team up with the X-Men!"

"This is definitely a new experience," Scott admitted as he blasted the nearest Sentinel with his optic blasts.

The New X-Men were soon fighting beside them. "You guys are new," Roberto commented. He was impressed as Wanda used her hex bolts to blast open a Sentinel. "And you're good!"

"You have no idea **how** good," Althea grinned as she noticed a fire hydrant. "Cyke! Hydrant at three o'clock!"

"Gotcha!" Scott blasted it open.

Althea used the streaming water to knock several Sentinels back. "Avalanche! Ready to do our special combo?"

"Ready to rock and roll!" Lance called out.

"EARTHQUAKE TSUNAMI!" Both of them shouted as they focused both of their powers together to create a powerful force that tore through the Sentinels that landed.

"Whoa…" Tabitha blinked. "And I thought I created a lot of destruction!"

"You think that was fun watch this," Todd grinned. "Wanda…"

"Just get ready…" Wanda nodded. "NOW!"

Todd took a deep breath and spat out a huge amount of slime. Wanda focused her powers on the slime so that it hit and covered a Sentinel, making it unable to move. "We still haven't come up with a name for that one," Todd admitted. "I was thinking Ultimate Goop Attack."

"Not catchy enough," Wanda remarked. "I was thinking Slime Tsunami but it's kind of similar to Wavedancer's and Avalanche's."

"You also practiced that move on Quicksilver didn't you?" Scott asked.

"How did you ever guess?" Pietro grumbled. "More Sentinels coming!" Sure enough several more were seen in the air and landed for a fight.

"Uh you're going to think this is a really strange question, but where the hell did those things come from?" Kitty asked. "And why are they attacking the school?"

"Oh about twenty years ago this nutcase of a scientist named Trask decided to create the Sentinels to eliminate mutants," Roberto said. "He had the brilliant idea of making them able to think for themselves in order to fight better and also be able to manufacture themselves."

"Unfortunately the genius didn't realize that sooner or later the Sentinels would come to the conclusion that the only way to destroy all mutants was to destroy the entire human race as well!" Duncan snapped as he fired his bazooka. "So for the past fifteen years or so both humans and mutants have been fighting a war against the machines."

"Oh," Todd gulped as he saw a Sentinel explode. "And how's it going?"

"Not that bad actually," Duncan reloaded. "Although it does kind of cut in on your social life."

Twenty minutes and several destroyed Sentinels later…

"Well I learned something from that last reality," Lance remarked as they emerged from the portal. "I learned that humans and mutants can work together to blow stuff up."

"You've been in the Misfits how long and you're just learning that **now?"** Wanda snapped.

"I learned that in a pinch Duncan Matthews isn't that bad a shot," Kurt admitted.

"Oh yeah that's a handy lesson to learn," Scott groaned.

"At least in that last reality nobody minded when we blew stuff up," Todd shrugged. "So where are we this time?"

"It looks like the girls' locker room," Jean looked around.

"OOH!" Pietro zoomed around and took out a bra from a locker.

"Cut it out Pietro!" Kitty snapped.

"Why this one's obviously not **yours**," Pietro showed him the C cup bra.

"Wanda…" Kitty sighed. Wanda zapped her brother and threw him into the lockerthen slammed it shut. "Thank you."

"Let me out! Let me out!" Pietro banged on the door.

"I should leave him in there…" Jean sighed. She opened the door. "Do that again and we will leave you in there!"

"Leaving Pietro in a girl's locker? Not a smart idea," Todd snickered.

"I'm not exactly that crazy having **you** in here," Jean told him. "We'd better get out of here before someone sees us."

A roar outside could be heard. "Sounds like there's a game going on," Scott said.

"Let's check it out," Lance suggested.

"I don't know," Scott thought.

"Come on, Summers," Todd hopped towards the game. "It'll be fun, as long as you don't blow up the stands!"

"Yeah well you'd better keep your pick pocketing under control!" Scott warned him as they went towards the field.

"You know very well that I'm in therapy for that," Todd sniffed. "I've made a lot of progress!"

"You have?" Kurt looked at him. "Where did you get that ipod in your pocket? You didn't have it when we started this trip!"

"Oh this?" Todd blinked as he stared at the protruding object. "I uh, found it in Duncan Matthew's locker a couple of realties back." Everyone looked at him. "What? I didn't take it from the **nice** one!"

"Yeah those sessions are really helping," Kurt rolled his eyes.

"WELCOME TO TONIGHT'S MUTANT BALL GAME!" The voice of Principal Kelly could be heard. "Tonight Bayville High's X-Men take on Sheldon Falls' Brotherhood in a rock 'em sock 'em bash!"

"Mutant Ball?" Kurt blinked. "You don't think…?"

"Come on! This I gotta see!" Lance said. They made their way to the bleachers. But it was not a football field they saw. It looked like a huge battlefield complete with cannons, barbed wire and mutant powers running amok. On one side of the field was the X-Men bench with Hank as a coach wearing a Bayville High red jacket and hat over his blue fur. On the other side was Mystique wearing a black and red coaches outfit.

The teams were playing a bizarre version of football only they used weapons as well as their mutant powers.

"AVALANCHE YOU CALL THAT AN EARTHQUAKE! COME ON! I'VE SEEN FEATHERS MAKE MORE OF AN IMPACT THAN THAT!" Coach Mystique shouted. "THAT'S IT TOLENSKY! SLIME HIM! SLIME HIM!"

"NO! NO! NO!" Coach McCoy shouted. "CYCLOPS I TOLD YOU TO WATCH OUT FOR THE SLIME! YOU CALL THAT A PASS? WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT THERE? WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT THERE? YOU'RE KILLING ME! YOU'RE KILLING ME!"

"Can you believe this?" Kitty blinked.

"It appears in this reality mutants are not only accepted, they are prized for their athletic abilities," Hank remarked. He winced as a snowball barely missed him and hit a wall. "And encouraged to create as much destruction as possible."

"OFFSIDES? HOW THE HELL CAN A SNOWBALL BE OFFSIDES YOU STUPID REFEREE?" Coach McCoy screamed at the official.

"Look I call 'em like I see 'em!" Bolivar Trask was dressed as a referee. "So back off!"

"Don't forget to visit your concession stand!" Kelly's voice was heard. "Whether it's quenching your thirst with a soda, satisfying your hunger with a hot dog or fixing up that migraine with some powerful drugs! We have what you need! Try the blue ones! They're really good!"

"Okay I can learn something from this," Lance thought. "Mutant powers in sports can be profitable…and Trask looks pretty good in stripes."

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHY ARE YOU JUST STANDING THERE? ICEMAN HOW COULD YOU FREEZE YOUR OWN FEET?" Coach McCoy shouted. "FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!"

"WAY TO GO DUKES! THAT'S IT BABY!" Coach Mystique shouted. "DUKES! DUKES WAIT A MINUTE! ARE YOU NUTS? DUKES GET YOUR BIG BEHIND OVER HERE!"

Fred lumbered over wearing an ill fitting uniform. "Yeah Coach?"

"Dukes what the hell are you doing? I told you before the game to make at least sixteen sacks to keep up the point spread!" Coach Mystique snapped.

"Sorry, I thought you said sixty five," Fred shrugged.

"For crying out loud do you realize how much that's going to annoy the bookies?" Coach Mystique groaned.

"But we're still ahead," Fred told her. "The score is 154 to 25."

"I SAID FIFTY FOUR TO TWENTY FIVE!" Mystique shouted at him. "YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO KEEP THE SCORE FIFTY FOUR TO TWENTY FIVE! THERE GOES THE FREAKING POINT SPREAD!"

"This is just plain nuts," Scott blinked as he watched.

"Yeah but they got some great hot dogs," Pietro had zipped back. He had taken off to get a snack and had a Brotherhood Hat on as well as two chili dogs and a soda.

"You know I could go for a snack," Kurt thought aloud.

"Oh I can't stand this…" Scott groaned.

They watched the game and Pietro sneaked snacks for them. He also grabbed a playbook. "Hey did you know the X-Men are 3-0 this season?" Pietro read. "That's three losses actually. While the Brotherhood is having another splendid year. Looks like they might win the championship, **again!"**

"You're going to keep that playbook just to rub it in our faces aren't you?" Scott glared at him.

"Can you blame me?" Pietro chuckled as he stuffed it into his back pocket.

"Are the thirty minutes up **yet?**" Scott asked.

"OFFSIDE SNOWBALL! X-MEN! FIVE YARD PENALTY!" Trask shouted.

"KILL THE REF! KILL THE REF!" Coach McCoy screamed as he tackled Referee Trask.

"And I thought our Mutant Ball games drove the adults nuts," Kurt blinked as the two men wrestled on the field.

"Okay times up! Let's go!" Scott looked at his watch. "I've seen enough!"

"But I wanna see the halftime show!" Todd whined.

"Just get over here!" Kurt grabbed him and dragged him over to the rest of the group to teleport away.

The next thing the gang knew they materialized into the middle of a huge lush jungle. "This different enough for you?" Todd asked.

"It's very…" Hank blinked. "Green."

"Well duh," Pietro mocked. "We are in a jungle."

"That makes no sense," Kitty said. "Unless we see a whole bunch of us in Tarzan or caveman outfits."

"I don't think so," Wanda pointed. "Look."

Surrounding them were dozens of cat sized snails with big googly eyes and multi-colored shells. "Tell me this is not us," Scott groaned.

ZAP! One snail shot a laser from its eyes in order to knock down some strange looking fruit.

"I think the odds that they are have just jumped a bit," Kurt remarked. "By I dunno, a hundred percent!"

"Snails…" Kitty looked around. The snails were making a friendly purring sound. "We're in a dimension filled with giant purring snails."

"Snails don't purr!" Pietro snapped. Then he thought for a second. "Do they?"

"Well these ones certainly do," Hank looked at the curious group around his feet. "Fascinating!"

"Not to self, never eat escargot," Jean said. "Ever!"

"Great we end up in one of Spongebob Squarepants' fantasies," Althea quipped.

"Okay this reality is even weirder than the unicorn one," Kurt remarked. "And I thought that one would be pretty hard to top."

"Well at least we can catch our breath," Kitty said. "So to speak. Right Lance? Lance?"

"I have to watch and learn," Lance repeated to himself. "I have to watch and learn."

"Mrowwww," A pink giant snail slunk onto his shoulder and started to purr.

"Although I have **no **idea what I can possibly learn from **this!**" Lance groaned.

**Next: I finally do a comic based chapter, but which comic? I guarantee most of you will never guess which version of the X-Men I do next! It's gonna be weird…Very weird. **


	8. AlfA Flight

**Alf-A Flight**

"So much for us getting the hang of this thing," Scott grumbled as he got up from the floor. "Where are we now?"

"It looks like we're in a spaceship of some kind," Hank rubbed his head. He looked out a window. "Circling the Earth. Oh my…"

"Nice view," Pietro said as he looked.

"I've always wanted to go into outer space but this is like totally nuts," Kitty said.

"The Earth sure is pretty from up here," Todd whistled. "This is so cool being in a spaceship."

"Toad," Kurt groaned. "You've been in a spaceship before. Remember?"

"Oh yeah…" Todd remembered. He started bopping his head. _"Come Fly With Me…let's fly away…" _

"Why are you singing?" Scott asked him.

"I dunno," Todd shrugged. "For some reason that song got stuck in my head all of the sudden."

"Before we get off track even further, don't you think it's a good idea to find out who's spaceship we've landed on?" Althea asked.

"That's easy lassie, it's ours!" An Irish voice said.

They turned around and to their shock came face to face with aliens. Aliens dressed a lot like the X-Men. Aliens that were dressed like the X-Men and had more than an uncanny resemblance to Alf.

"Guys…" Lance blinked. "Are you seeing what I'm seeing or did I just go completely nuts?"

"Yes to both questions," Scott said. "But you are definitely not seeing things."

"I think we just got stuck in a weird 80's comic book," Althea blinked.

"All right who are you bozos?" One gruff Alf clone wearing a white and yellow football uniform with a yellow helmet that had an X on top snapped. "You wanna fight? I'll give you a fight like the New Melmac Patriots at Super Duper Bowl 245! The score was 34 to 23 and…"

"Could you please put that on hold for a minute Michigan Wolverine?" An Alf in a Cyclops costume groaned.

"Look we're not here to fight," Jean held up her hand. "We just kind of accidentally stumbled onto your spaceship after a mishap with a dimensional transporter."

"Oh is **that** all?" A silver looking Colossus Alf groaned.

"Uh, I'm Scott, that's Jean," Scott introduced them. "That's Kurt, Kitty, Wanda, Pietro, Lance, Hank, Althea and Toad."

"**Todd,**" Todd glared at him. "My name is Todd, but everybody calls me Toad. However I'd wish they'd give me the chance to say that."

"Sorry," Scott grumbled.

"Nobody ever calls me Todd…" Todd grumbled.

"I call you Todd," Althea said.

"Well nobody besides you Sweetums," Todd corrected. "Everybody else seems to forget my name!"

"I said I was sorry!" Scott snapped. "Can we find out where we are now and who these…People are?"

"We are the Uncanned X-Melmen," The Alf clone in the Cyclops costume sniffed. "Melmutants with tragic lives and tragic pasts, forced to live in a world that hates and fears us. And then that world that hated and feared us blew up into itty bitty bits. KA- BOOM! Now we have nowhere to live, no home for our very own, no refuge from the elements…"

"And no bloody peace and quiet from Psyche-Major's constant whining!" The Rogue Alf in a green and black costume with an Irish accent snapped. "Dark Kleenex he's your boyfriend! Can't you shut his trap?"

"I've tried, Brogue." Dark Kleenex, the female Alf clone with long red hair and a green and gold uniform with a gold sash around the waist groaned. "But not even my Ultimate Kleenex blasts can stop him. And don't think I haven't used it on him!"

"Let me try something," The Alf Clone that looked exactly like Kurt (except that his tail looked like a three pronged fork at the end.) spoke. Suddenly a phone appeared in his hand. "Psyche! This is Nightcaller speaking! I have your therapist on the line!"

CLICK!

"Hmm, he hung up," Nightcaller blinked.

"This is too screwed up for words…" Kurt groaned.

"Snott Honey," Dark Kleenex put her hands on her sobbing boyfriend's shoulders. "I love you but right now I need you to put a sock in it. We have guests."

**"Snott?"** Todd snickered. "He, he…"

"I don't think anybody named **Toad** has the right to criticize anyone's name!" Scott glared at him.

"Sorry," Psyche-Major calmed down. "It's just that all that angst gets to me."

"**Everything** gets to you!" Brogue snapped. "You can't even open up a bloody can of tuna without going to pieces!"

"But those poor little fish giving their lives so that we can eat," Psyche-Major sniffed. "Not to mention those poor dolphins caught in those nets…"

"We eat dolphin free tuna you moron," Michigan Wolverine snapped. "In fact its not even real tuna. It's that fake stuff they make out of farm raised fish."

"All those poor fishermen out of work…" Psyche-Major began to sniffle again.

"Let me introduce ourselves," Dark Kleenex said. "Since our so called leader is falling to pieces again for the fifth time this afternoon. I'm Dark Kleenex, in addition to telepathy and telekinesis I'm in possession of the powerful Kleenex Force."

"Sounds like a cheap knock off of what Jean's got," Pietro pointed at Jean.

**"Do you want to be fish fry?"** Dark Kleenex flamed up in anger.

"No…" Pietro gulped, hiding behind Wanda. "I'll be good."

"Give me a break," Wanda rolled her eyes.

"This is my boyfriend Psyche-Major," Dark Kleenex continued. "He has powerful nose blasts and the uncanny ability to whine about anything."

"In other words apart from the nose thing he's just like our Cyclops," Lance smirked. Scott glared at him.

"I'm Brogue," She waved. "I'm super strong, super fast in the air and I'm super Irish."

"And she has a super thick head," Michigan Wolverine snorted.

"Says the melmutant whose only power is to quote endless football statistics," Brogue glared at him.

"It's a useful power!" Michigan Wolverine snapped.

"Aye, useful for boring people to death!" Brogue growled.

"Comrades please," The Colossus type Alf groaned. "I am Molossus; I can turn my body into semi solid sugar."

"And that's useful **how?"** Pietro asked.

"Pietro, shut up," Wanda glared at him. "Maybe he can slow down that motor mouth of yours!"

"Ha! I'd like to see him…" Pietro laughed when suddenly a huge silver goop hit him square in the mouth. "HMMMMMPPHHH!"

"Boy that **is **a useful power," Todd snickered as Pietro tried to get the silver molasses off his face.

"I'm Nightcaller. I can make a phone appear and get a call through to anyone at any time, anywhere," The Kurt Alf grinned.

"Interesting power," Kurt blinked.

"Hey you'd be surprised how much we save on our phone bills," Nightcaller shrugged.

"I'm Haagen-Dazzler," A blonde Alf clone in a blue outfit with a gold star in the front said. "I can create huge chunks of ice cream."

"Not to mention huge clouds of makeup," Michigan Wolverine grumbled. "You should see her in the mornings!"

"And that's our little group here," Dark Kleenex told them.

"So have you hooked up with Gordon Shumway recently?" Todd asked. "Did he ever return to being the Fantastic Fur?"

"No he's a talk show host on Earth now," Michigan Wolverine shrugged. "Not that I blame him. It's a pretty sweet gig."

"Gordon Shumway?" Jean asked. "Who is Gordon Shumway?"

"Alf duh," Todd rolled his eyes.

"Yeah even I knew that," Wanda said. "And this is from a woman who spent a lot of time in solitary confinement."

"How did you know that?" Scott asked him.

"I watched a lot of Alf reruns when I was a kid," Todd shrugged. "Or were they pirated videos? Oh well…I definitely remember reading a lot of the comics."

"Really?" Wanda said. "They had a lot of Alf comics in the asylum too. For some reason it made a lot of the patients even worse."

"For a few issues Alf took on the identity of a crime fighter called the Fantastic Fur," Todd explained. "Hey he even joined up with the X-Melmen a couple of times."

"Are you saying we are floating in space with a group of **comic book characters?"** Kitty blinked. "Okay that's just plain weird."

"Oh and jumping around other dimensions is **normal?**" Haagen Dazzler asked.

"You have a point," Kitty shrugged. "So what's going on? I mean why are you guys orbiting the planet earth instead of living on it?"

"We're on a rescue mission," Brogue told them. "We were already lost in space when we came upon our former team mate Haagen Dazzler in a disabled spaceship."

"You see right before our planet exploded, I and my new group Maxx Factor paid a visit to Professor Xylophone," Haagen Dazzler explained. "To show him our new spaceship. Let's just say it was a lucky break."

"Wait your planet exploded?" Kitty asked.

"Yes that was how Alf ended up on Earth," Todd groaned. "Get with the program Kitty!"

"Well excuse me for not ever seeing the show!" Kitty retorted.

"Anyway," Haagen Dazzler sighed. "We roamed the universe for a while until we ended at Earth. Just then we were attacked by another melmutant named Magmeato and his henchwoman Emma Defrost."

"Mag-**meato**?" Lance asked.

"He has the power to attract and manipulate meat," Psyche-Major snorted. "And the Professor never goes anywhere without a huge supply of barbecue ribs in the freezer."

"O-kay," Lance blinked.

"Long story short, I managed to escape but the Professor and the rest of my team are still stuck with Magmeato," Haagen Dazzler explained. "We were just trying to figure out what the best plan of attack was when you arrived. Any questions?"

"Yeah I got one," Lance held up his hand. "If all of you are back here, who's flying this thing?"

"Relax," Michigan Wolverine held up his hand. "Psyche's got it on cruise control."

"Oh boy," Psyche-Major blinked. "I **knew **there was something I forgot to do!"

"Well that explains why we're about to crash into the moon," Todd looked out the window.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Everyone screamed as the moon seemed to rush towards them.

"WE'RE GONNA DIE! WE'RE GONNA DIE!" Psyche-Major ran around screaming.

"Like **Mel** we are!" Dark Kleenex focused her powers.

"I'll help too!" Jean focused on her telekinesis on the ship.

"I'll pilot the ship!" Brogue knocked Psyche-Major out of the way and made her way to the controls. The three of them managed to get the ship away from the moon and back on course.

"Once again the girls have to save the day," Brogue snorted. "That's like what? Three hundred and seventy two times?"

"You don't have to rub it in," Michigan Wolverine grumbled.

"I feel sick…" Lance moaned.

"That was some mighty impressive power," Dark Kleenex said to Jean. "Hey I know we've just met and all but would you guys mind giving us a hand to get our Professor back?"

"Why not?" Jean shrugged. "You don't mind do you guys?"

"We're here anyway," Kurt admitted.

"Yeah this should be fun," Althea said.

"We'll think of it as a training mission without the training," Todd nodded.

"Besides, something tells me these guys are going to need all the help they can get," Scott groaned as he saw Psyche-Major blubbering on the floor in a fetal position.

Half an hour later…

"We're approaching the Arctic," Psyche-Major told the mutants as he piloted the ship. "This is the place."

"This better be the place after checking out nearly **every other** cold place on the planet!" Scott snapped.

"Geography was my worst subject in school," Haagen Dazzler snapped as she powdered her huge nose. "Sue me!"

"Let me guess, you spent more time applying makeup than doing homework?" Scott gave her a look.

"How did you guess?" Haagen Dazzler blinked.

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Pietro blinked.

"I'm not going to ask…" Scott groaned. "I'm not going to ask."

"Oh school days," Psyche-Major started to blubber again. "Those wonderful days when I was a young lad. Before I knew I was a melmutant. I was just a normal kid getting picked on by bullies, thrown into the dumpster every afternoon by the principal who was bored, wanting some girl, any girl to like me instead of sicking rabid squirrels on me…"

"I can't **wait **to get out of this dimension," Scott groaned.

"I'm rather enjoying it," Lance snickered.

"It must be pretty disturbing for all of ye," Brogue said to the mutants. "Traveling around from dimension to dimension seeing all different versions of yourselves."

"Not half as disturbing as listening to Michigan Wolverine talk about football without stopping," Wanda said. "A padded room and a straightjacket never looked so appealing."

"We're talking about one for Michigan Wolverine right?" Psyche-Major sniffed.

"Actually you could use one for yourself," Brogue grumbled. "Psyche you're getting your tears all over the console again! Last time you did that the whole bloody thing…"

FIZZLE! SNAP! CRACKE! POP!

"Shorted out…" Brogue blinked as a small fire popped up before her eyes. "There goes our insurance."

"We're going to crash aren't we?" Scott sighed.

"Yes, yes we are," Brogue sighed. "Commence screaming in five, four, three, two…"

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Everyone screamed as the ship crashed straight into a huge glacier.

A lone Alf clone wearing a Magneto costume stood on top of a fortress and watched the crash. "So much for the rescue party," He chuckled. "I didn't even need to turn on the tractor beam!"

With a flourish Magmeato returned into the fortress. Inside was a bald Alf clone in a wheelchair fitted with a xylophone inside a glowing cell. "Well Professor Xylophone it seems that your students are now permanently on ice," He grinned. "And with them out of the picture I am free once again to take over the world."

"Oh put in a sock in it," Professor Xylophone snapped. "Your plan to hold the world's meat supply hostage will never work."

"How did you know I was going to do **that**?" Magmeato gasped. "You can't read my mind thanks to my helmet!"

"You forget old friend I know you too well," Professor Xylophone told him. "Besides, that's the **only **plan you ever use! I mean come on! Would it kill you to think of something **original** for a change?"

"Oh shut up," Magmeato snarled.

"I mean it was bad enough you used the same tactic year after year on Melmac," Professor Xylophone went on. "The least you can do when you get to a new planet is to think of a new scheme!"

"Just shut up," Magmeato growled.

"It's just plain lazy not to think of a new plan!" Professor Xylophone. "I mean plans for world domination can't be that hard to think up! I've known three year olds that could come up with better ones!"

"Why are you not shutting up?" Magmeato snapped. "I am your captor! You are my prisoner. You have to do what I say! And I am saying SHUT UP!"

"I mean even those bad Sixties cartoons were more interesting," Professor Xylophone continued.

"He still doesn't shut up," Magmeato groaned. "You're just jealous that I still have my hair!"

"I am not," Professor Xylophone bristled.

"Are too!"

"Are not!"

"Are too!"

"Are not!"

"ARE TOO!"

"AM NOT!"

"ARE TOO INFINITY!"

"ARE NOT INFINITY PLUS INFINITY!"

"ARE TOO INFINITY PLUS INFINITY TIMES INFINIITY!"

"ARE NOT INFINITY PLUS INFINITY TIMES INFINITY DIVIDED BY INFINITY MINUS NEGATIVE INFINITY SEVEN PLUS INVINITY SQUARED MULTIPLIED TO INFINITY TRIPLED!" Professor Xylophone shouted back. "Besides it's a bad haircut anyway."

"It is not!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"PROVE IT!"

"All right I'll…" Magmeato was about to remove his helmet and stopped just in time. "Oh you…Nice try! But that's not gonna work on me! A pathetic tactic like that would only work on someone with half a brain!"

"Well no wonder it didn't work on you." Professor Xylophone remarked as Magmeato walked away.

"Exactly! WAIT A MINUTE!" Magmeato whirled on him. "WHY YOU…"

"Darling don't let that old goat get your goat," A blonde Alf clone in a sexy white outfit slunk in. "He's just trying to make you angry."

"Well he's succeeding!" Magmeato snapped.

"Now, now, let dear Emma Defrost make it all better," She patted him on his shoulders. "I mean lets face it Darling, you've won. He's just a sore loser. I mean let's take stock of the situation. We are already at twenty five percent of our meat gathering goal, we have our fortress and what does **he **have? A stupid xylophone and a cell."

"It's quite a nice xylophone actually," Professor Xylophone huffed. "I mean just because I'm not tone deaf like some melmutants…"

"DO YOU SEE?" Magmeato pointed. "DO YOU SEE WHAT I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH?"

"Darling, focus," Emma took his face in her hands. "Look, the remaining members of Maxx Factor are locked up below. And all his other students are dead or at the very least frozen food."

Meanwhile at the lowest level of the fortress…

"We made it!" Kurt groaned as a huge hole opened within the wall. "Thanks Cyclops and Psyche-Major creating a tunnel under the ice to get us out!"

"Why are you thanking **him** for?" Brogue pointed at Psyche-Major. "He crashed the ship in the first place!"

"Yeah once again it was up to Jean and me to save our butts," Dark Kleenex grumbled.

"Let's hurry up before we freeze our butts solid," Todd shivered.

"Quit whining Toad," Kurt grumbled.

"Hey not all of us have a built in fur coat you know?" Todd snapped. "And amphibians aren't exactly winter fans either!"

"Where are we?" Althea asked.

"Look!" Haagen Dazzler pointed to three female Alf clones shacked to the wall. "It's the girls of Maxx Factor!"

"It's about time you got here!" A female Alf clone with green hair said. "My arms are killing me! Not to mention these inhibitor cuffs are chafing!"

"Not a problem," Kitty used her powers to phase them out of their shackles. "You okay?"

"Fine," Another female Alf Clone with dark hair nodded. "Who are you?"

"Ladies meet the X-Men and Misfits," Haagen Dazzler explained. "Why don't you introduce yourselves."

"I'm Pole-Laris," The first female Alf Clone with green hair and a green uniform spoke. "I can create a pole any size any length out of energy!"

"I'm Juju Bees," A long dark haired female Alf clone said. She was wearing a yellow raincoat and yellow uniform with black stripes that reminded them of a bumble bee. "I have the power to create candy!"

"I'm Shadow Catcall!" A female Alf clone with short brown hair and a black uniform told them. "I have the power to call on an army of cats from thin air."

"Some crack team you have here," Pietro snickered. "No wonder you guys got captured! You ladies must have the lamest powers ever!"

Todd turned his head. "Even **I** can tell what's coming next."

"TWEEET!" Shadow Catcall blew a whistle. A dozen cats popped out of nowhere and tackled Pietro.

"AAAH! GET 'EM OFF! GET 'EM OFF!" Pietro tried frantically to get them off his body. "THEY'RE CLAWING ME! THEY'RE CLAWING ME!"

Juju Bees then used her powers. "Have some jelly beans!" The jelly beans scattered to the floor which Pietro slipped and fell on them.

"And last but not least," Pole-Laris created a very heavy short pole and began to whack Pietro with it.

"Yup that was pretty predictable," Todd sighed. "Can I try?"

"Me first!" Wanda shoved Todd aside.

"Why not?" Pole-Laris made another pole. "Help yourself!"

"Uh as much as I'd love to stand here all day watching Quicksilver getting the stuffing beat out of him," Kitty interrupted. "Shouldn't we be like rescuing your Professor first?"

"Oh yeah," Shadow Catcall thought.

"We forgot," Juju Bees thought.

"All right now here's the plan," Scott told them. "If we follow it we can pull off a quick organized rescue."

Ten minutes later…

"FIRE! FIRE!" Nightcaller screamed as the fortress was filled with flame. He used his powers to create a phone. "FIRE DEPARTMENT! FIRE DEPARTMENT!"

"MEOW!" Several cats ran amok.

"AAAAAHHHHH!" Michigan Wolverine skated across the floor slipping on jelly beans.

"WAAAAHHHHH!" Psyche-Major was crying and blasting everything in sight with his nostril blasts.

"PSYCHE YOU NEARLY BLEW MY HEAD OFF YOU BLOODY FREAK!" Brogue shouted as she flew around trying to dodge the blasts.

"YEOW! SNOTT!" Dark Kleenex felt a powerful zap on her behind and was flung headfirst into a wall.

"CALL NINE ONE ONE!" Nightcaller screamed into the phone as a cat clung onto his tail. "NOT TO MENTION ANIMAL CONTROL!"

"WHOA! WHOA!" Professor Xylophone spun around and around on the floor sliding on the jelly beans as well. His xylophone was making a funny sliding noise as well.

"Uh Comrades," Molossus was stuck inside a block of ice cream. "Little help!"

"Way to go boss!" Pole-Laris tried to unstuck him with a pole.

"So my aim's a bit off!" Haagen Dazzler groaned. "SUE ME!"

"AAAAHHH!" Magmeato skated across the floor as well. "EMMA STOP THIS CRAZY THING!"

"OW! FIRE HOT! FIRE VERY HOT!" Michigan Wolverine screamed.

Meanwhile the X-Men and Misfits stood to the side watching the chaos. "So much for an **organized** rescue," Jean groaned.

"Well we are not responsible for this!" Wanda folded her arms.

"I don't think any one of us could be held accountable for this disaster!" Hank groaned.

"Okay let's make a deal," Scott said. "We were never here and we never saw these people."

"I'm willing to agree to that," Lance winced. "Is it me or is the floor melting?"

"Oh boy…" Hank noticed that it was. "I believe it is. Time to leave?"

"Yeah these nuts are **beyond **help," Wanda said as she turned on the IM NUTS Machine. They teleported just before the entire floor melted away.

"Great idea Emma!" Magmeato snapped as he struggled to stay afloat. "Using your secondary mutation to melt everything, including the floor! THE FLOOR WAS MADE OF ICE! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?"

"BITE ME!" Emma floundered in the icy water. "AT LEAST I PUT THE FIRE OUT!"

"In retrospect maybe founding the Uncanned X-Melmen was not the smartest thing I have ever done," Professor Xylophone sighed.

"No, really? You **think?"** Dark Kleenex snapped.

"Hello, Coast Guard?" Nightcaller spoke in his phone as he tried to swim. "HELP!"

"SAVE ME! SAVE ME!" Michigan Wolverine floundered.

"I will!" Brogue flew over him. "Just as soon as you admit that you're a Notre Dame fan!"

"Okay everybody climb on the ice cream!" Haagen Dazzler cried as she floated on a huge pile of ice cream.

"Oh **that's** smart," Juju Bees snapped. "Get out of the freezing cold water by climbing onto a freezing melting ice cream float!"

"I wanna be leader now!" Shadow Catcall snapped. "I HATE GETTING WET!"

"Meow! Meow!" Several cats were all over the place on little ice flows trying not to get wet.

"Glub…Glub…" Molossus was going down for the count.

"Oh alas! What a tragic fate Professor!" Psyche-Major wailed. "Just as we find each other we sink to a watery grave!"

"Yes Snott, so please stop adding to the volume of water unless you want us to **drown faster!"** Professor Xylophone snapped.

"Hello? Employment agency?" Nightcaller spoke into the phone. "I want to change careers!"

**Yup there really was a group called the Uncanned X-Melmen in the Alf comics and they were a blast! Of course I made up the last three members of Maxx Factor. Hey some of you wanted to see something with one of the comic versions so there it is! Careful what you wish for! **


	9. Getting Yourself in Trouble Has Never

**This next chapter was inspired by Agent G's AGU series. More specifically on his story 'Reality Trip'. Check it out. Think of this as kind of an alternate alternate universe. Something tells me Agent G won't want this disaster to actually happen in his series. Trust me on this. It's gonna get wild. **

**Getting Yourself in Trouble Has Never Been So Much Fun**

"Ooh! This just gets crazier and crazier," Althea groaned as she got up from where she fell into the next reality.

"Why is the floor so small?" Pietro groaned.

"Because we're on a table stupid!" Wanda snapped.

"And of course you'd have to land at **our** table…" Someone said.

The gang looked around. They were in a heap on top of a table. A cafeteria table in the middle of a very crowded school cafeteria. At the table were Rogue, Kitty, Kurt (image inducer on), Wanda, Danielle, Tabitha, Amara, Amanda and a few other people they didn't recognize. But everyone else in the room knew instantly that they were mutants and had arrived in a very unorthodox way.

"Oh boy," Kurt gulped at all the staring and in some cases down right hostile faces, "This is awkward." Especially for him and McCoy because everyone could see their true forms.

For two seconds none of the alternate X-Men said anything. Finally the other Kitty spoke. "Let me guess, you know a guy named Forge who made some kind of interdimensional traveling gizmo?"

"Yeah how did you know?" Todd asked.

"Let's just say we've had experience with this sort of thing," An unfamiliar well built seventeen year old male told them. He had black hair and wore a green top, black leather jacket and jeans with boots. "And of course you had to end up right here at school with us!"

"Just when I thought school couldn't suck any more…" Rogue groaned.

"OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT?" One of the other students finally recovered from the shock. She yelled and pointed at the X-Men and Misfits on the table.

"Look! That's another Pryde!" Another girl said. "There's **two **of them!"

"And they're both wearing the same pink outfit!" Another girl said. "Gross!" True to form, both Kittys were wearing the same pink top and jeans combo.

"And so is that other girl there in the red!" Another shouted. "Oh god no! Bad fashion overkill!"

"She says that like it's a bad thing," AGU Wanda grumbled. Both she and Wanda were wearing the same familiar red outfit.

"Some people just don't know good taste when they see it," Wanda shrugged.

"Uh hello there," Hank coughed and waved to the students in the cafeteria. "Don't mind us. We're just visitors from another dimension."

Surprisingly no one screamed and fled in panic. Although a female teacher did faint. The other students just seemed to be in shock. "They're taking this well," Pietro snickered.

"I guess they're just waiting to see what happens next before they go screaming to the principal to report us," Danielle groaned.

"Are you guys all X-Men?" Tabitha asked.

"No some of us are in a group called the Misfits," Althea explained. "In case you don't know I'm Althea Delgado, code named Wavedancer."

"Okay…" The seventeen year old male blinked. "Wait a minute, I remember you guys! We ended up at the Pit when we went on our travels through other dimensions. Don't you remember me? Vincent? Code named Mayhem?"

"Sorry no," Althea shrugged.

"Oh no!" AGU Kurt moaned. "Not the Misfits! The dimension where Amanda's a sorceress not a mutant and Kitty is dating two guys!"

"What do you mean not a mutant?" Kurt blinked.

"Yell it out to anyone why don't you?" AGU Amanda groaned.

"How did you know about my personal life?" Kitty asked. "And I'm like not really dating two guys anymore."

"Only because Colossus threw in the towel because he was sick of you stringing him along," Pietro smirked.

"Shut up Quicksilver!" Kitty snapped.

"Wait you've all met the Misfits before?" Wanda held up her hand. "But we've never met you. How is that possible?"

"Simple really," Hank explained. "They must have met some other version of the Misfits in a reality almost exactly like ours."

"You mean there is more than one dimension where there are Misfits?" Scott groaned. "Perfect! Just perfect!"

"And logically speaking there must be another dimension like ours too," Vincent said. "Where a lot of the same events happened."

"Interesting," AGU Wanda remarked. "By the way Wanda, I'm an X-Man and here my rat of a brother and his friends took off with the rest of the Brotherhood."

"And I can touch now and I'm dating Vincent not Gambit," AGU Rogue spoke up. "The Swamp Rat took off to parts unknown when I told him to take a hike!"

"And who are you guys?" Pietro pointed to the new people.

"Uh, I'm Gale Hunter," A blue haired female wearing a red top and tan pants waved. "I'm an empath and a healer."

"Clarice Fergison," A shy girl with long brown hair and a blue outfit waved. "I can teleport."

"I am Kai Fujitaka," A somber Japanese youth in a blue and gray outfit spoke. "Call me Shadow. In addition to my shadow abilities I am a ninja of the Shadow Clan."

"The Shadow Clan?" Althea thought. "I've heard of you. Your clan merged with the Clan of the Storm centuries ago."

"No it did not," Kai's eyes narrowed. "We went to war with the Clan of the Storm after their leader dishonored our leader's daughter and kidnapped her. My clan nearly wiped out their clan in order to restore their honor and both kidnapper and his victim were killed."

"Really? In our dimension the story has a very different ending," Althea told him. "First of all the daughter wasn't kidnapped, she ran away because she was in love with the leader of the Clan of the Storm. But both of them realized that by running away would cause trouble and fighting for both their clans, so they returned. Both proclaimed to their respective tribes that it was senseless to fight and their love for each other. Eventually they convinced both tribes to merge into one great ninja clan."

"That really happened?" Kitty asked.

"Guys, remember our friend Storm Shadow?" Althea gave them a look. "That's what Arashikage means literally in English."

"Storm, shadow…" Todd thought aloud. "Shadow, storm…Hey you're right."

"How do you know this?" Kai asked.

"My sensei is from the Arashikage clan and many of us are being trained in it's ways," Althea explained. "So I guess in a way we're clan-mates."

"If that's true maybe there's a Kai back in our dimension we haven't met yet," Lance wondered.

"Or someone very similar to Kai," Althea pointed out.

"As interesting as all this is, I think you're forgetting something here," AGU Kitty said. "LIKE WE'RE STILL IN SCHOOL, YOU'RE STILL SITTING ON TOP OF THE TABLE AND EVERYBODY'S STARING AT US!"

"Oh…" Althea looked around. "This must seem kind of weird to you people huh?"

"Hey you gonna eat that?" Todd looked at the plate of a cheerleader at a table nearby. Without thinking he shot out his tongue and grabbed a sandwich and gulped it down. "Thanks!"

"EWW!" The cheerleader screamed. "THAT'S DISGUSTING!"

"Hey I said thanks! What more do you want?" Todd puffed up defensively.

"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?" A tall man in his forties with a beard and slightly graying temples rushed in. His jaw dropped when he saw the X-Men and Misfits coming down from the table. "What the.."

"Principal Campbell!" A teacher groaned. "Thank goodness you're here!"

"What is **he** gonna do against those muties from another dimension?" One jock rolled his eyes.

"What?" Principal Campbell blinked. "Did you just say dimension?"

"Notice he didn't say anything about the 'mutie' crack," Lance whispered to Pietro.

"Those freaks just popped out of nowhere and they said they were from another dimension! Right there at the table!" A cheerleader told them.

"I must apologize for the disturbance," Hank coughed. "You see we really are from another dimension and we accidentally happened on your school while trying to find our own way home."

"Wait a minute!" Campbell held up his hand and looked at them. He saw two Kittys and two Wandas dressed alike. "Two of…? Another dimension?"

"Yes another dimension," Jean sighed. "I know this is a bit of a shock…"

"Not for them obviously!" Another cheerleader shouted. "When they popped through that purple portal thingy these mutants just sat there like nothing happened!"

"They weren't even surprised!" Another jock shouted. "I heard 'em! They said they knew all about this stuff!"

"Is that true? Are you saying that things like this happen **often?"** Campbell glared at them.

"I wouldn't say often," AGU Kitty gulped.

Just then another portal opened up right in front of Principal Campbell. "WHEEEEEEE!" Out of the portal appeared Trinity. They were wearing pink tops, jeans and sneakers and pink lab coats. They landed right on top of Campbell tacking him to the ground.

"AAAHHHHHH!" Campbell screamed.

"HI THERE MISTER!" They called out happily. "WE'RE VISITORS FROM ANOTHER DIMENSION!"

"I'm Daria!"

"I'm Quinn!"

"I'm Brittany!"

"**I'm **being **suffocated!**" Campbell shouted. "Get them off of me!"

"Geeze don't be such a grouch," Daria sniffed as they did so.

"You were saying?" Campbell glared at the mutants.

"Okay maybe it happens a little more than we like to admit," AGU Kitty groaned.

"TRINITY!" Althea yelled. "What are you doing here? **Why **are you here?"

"When you guys took off we decided to follow you," Quinn explained. She showed them a small pink device labeled IM NUTS II. "We even put a tracker in this thing."

"We didn't want to be left out," Brittany said. "We just saw the unicorns. They were pretty!"

"I hope you annoyed the black one with the metal horn," Scott grumbled.

Clarice looked at Gale. "They did not just say unicorns did they?"

"Yeah they did," Gale sighed.

"I can't believe you followed us," Wanda groaned at Trinity.

"I can," Althea said. "They live to make my life miserable!"

"You know these girls?" Kai asked. "Are they enemies?"

"Worse…" Althea groaned. "They're my sisters."

"Great! As if this trip wasn't nuts enough!" Lance threw up his hands.

"I remember them," AGU Kitty said. "They were nice." Everyone gave her a look. "What? They were!"

"Okay you're definitely crazy," Kitty rolled her eyes.

"Well sorry if I'm not a slut like you!" AGU Kitty snapped.

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?" Kitty roared.

"What else do you call a girl who strings along two guys?" AGU Kitty snapped.

"Ooh! Ooh! I know!" Todd raised his hand.

"Don't you dare call me a…" Kitty warned.

"Slut, slut, slut…" AGU Kitty finished.

"Uh oh," Lance gulped. "This is not going to be pretty."

"If you don't stop it **right now** I'm gonna…" Kitty warned, her face getting redder and redder.

"Slut, slut, slut," AGU Kitty continued. "Slut, slut, slutty, slut, slut…"

"THAT'S IT!" Kitty leapt and her and started to fight. AGU Kitty fought back. "BRING IT ON!"

"Boy your Kitty has a temper doesn't she?" Gale groaned.

"You have no idea," Lance sighed.

"So much for the no fighting rule," AGU Rogue moaned.

"Okay can you get detention if you get into a fight with **yourself?**" One boy asked another as the human students watched the fight.

"I dunno Chet but it'll be fun to find out," The other boy chuckled.

"Stop this! Stop this right now!" Campbell shouted as he tried to separate the two Kittys only to have one of them accidentally punch him in the jaw. He fell to the floor unconscious.

"Oops," Kitty gulped.

"Okay I **know** you can get more than detention for beating up your principal," Chet said.

"Look at what you did!" AGU Kitty fumed.

"ME?" Kitty shouted. "IF YOU HADN'T…"

"Stop this! Stop this right now!" Another older female teacher in a maroon dress outfit stormed up to them. "You mutant freaks have really done it now! I am going straight to…" She paused as she finally got a good look at Hank and Kurt.

"To H-E-Double Hockey sticks?" Pietro said helpfully.

"Quicksilver!" Scott glared at him.

"Oh my…" She covered her chest with her hand. "I think I'm having a heart attack!"

"Perhaps I can be of assistance," Hank said. "I am a doctor and…"

"NO!" She screamed then ran out the door. Two other teachers ran after her.

"For a woman having a heart attack she's pretty fast on her feet," Pietro blinked.

"We are all going to get detention for life, I know it," AGU Rogue groaned.

"Come on Rogue look at the bright side," Vincent patted her on the shoulder. "They might just expel us instead."

"Oh well that just leaves this guy," Pietro grinned as he went over to Campbell.

"Don't even think of doing anything to him, Quicksilver!" AGU Rogue warned.

"Come on Roguey, hassling the principal of Bayville High is practically a **tradition **for us," Pietro grinned. "Ciao!" He zoomed off carrying Campbell.

"Okay I gotta get in on this!" Todd whooped as he hopped after him.

Chet looked at one of the jocks. "Dude should we like do something now?"

"Hold on a minute," The Jock told him. "I wanna see if they clock any more teachers first. I got a Geometry test with Hawkins over there."

"Don't give me that look," Lance snapped at Kitty who was glaring at him. "I'm not the one who punched him out!"

"Well neither did I!" Kitty pointed to AGU Kitty.

"LIAR!" AGU Kitty snapped. "You did it and you know it!"

"I did not!" Kitty snapped.

"Go ahead, fight some more," Wanda told them. "Maybe you'll knock out even more people!"

"This trip is so not going well," Hank sighed.

"Hey you have an image inducer too," Quinn looked at Clarice.

"Quinn! No!" Althea shouted. But it was too later. Quinn had quickly managed to turn it off, revealing her true form. She had light purple skin, pink hair and red triangle marks on her face.

"Cool!" Quinn said. Another teacher screamed and fainted. "Boy people here sure do faint a lot."

"Quinn! You know better than that!" Althea snapped. She looked at Clarice. "I'm really sorry. But if it makes you feel any better pink is definitely your color."

Clarice looked around nervously at all the stares headed her way. She looked like her worst nightmare had come true. "I…I…" Suddenly she teleported away.

"Way to go Quinn," Daria put her hands on her hips. "Just traumatize the girl why don't you?"

"Well it's not like she's the only one hiding what she looks like," Quinn shrugged and looked at AGU Kurt.

"Don't even…" AGU Kurt began when suddenly Brittany grabbed his inducer and turned it off. "Oh no…"

"AAHHH! ANOTHER DEMON!" Someone shouted and the thud of someone else fainting was heard.

"Darn it," The Jock grumbled. "The Home Ec teacher. It figures, the one class I'm actually passing…"

"Thanks a lot!" AGU Kurt snapped.

"At least I'm not gonna be the only one standing here like this," Kurt glared at him.

"You're enjoying this aren't you?" AGU Kurt glared back.

"Why don't you two get into a fistfight and see what damage **you** do?" AGU Rogue snapped.

"Don't give them any ideas!" Scott warned.

"They are **definitely** going to expel us after this," Vincent groaned.

"Sorry about that," Wanda said to her counterpart.

"Well since things are already bad," AGU Wanda shrugged. "Might as well do something I've wanted to do for a while." She used her hex powers to throw plates of food at several Jocks.

"Good aim," Wanda grinned and used her powers to get the cheerleaders.

"THAT'S IT! LET'S GET THEM!" One of the Jocks shouted.

"Oh dear…" Hank gulped as people started to throw food at them.

"I'll get us out!" Amanda said. She used her teleportation powers and they were outside on the school lawn. "Whoo, that's a workout with so many people."

"Nice job teleporting," Althea remarked.

"It's one of my mutant powers," Amanda explained. "It's a long story."

"What about the others?" Gale asked. "They don't have lunch this period!"

"I think that's pretty much a moot point," Danielle pointed as the rest of the X-Men ran up to them. "They must have heard the screaming."

"What is going on here?" Alex ran up with other X-Men. "Scott?"

"Not our Scott," Vincent told him. "This is a Cyclops from another reality and he showed up with a bunch of Misfits!"

"Not only did they cause a fight and knock out the principal they outed me and Blink!" AGU Kurt told them. "She must have teleported back to the mansion!"

"Why did I come here to be an X-Man?" Alex groaned.

In the distance they could hear thunder. "Did we happen to mention that Storm is Blink's foster mom?" AGU Tabitha asked.

"No you didn't," Jean looked at the approaching thunder clouds.

"Maybe we should hide out at the Brotherhood house for a bit?" Lance asked.

"There is no Brotherhood House," AGU Wanda said. "It burned to the ground. Then it got rebuilt."

"That's where the Hellions live now," AGU Kurt told them.

"Really?" Trinity said as one, sharing an evil look. Suddenly they flew off as fast as they could.

"Where did they go?" Gale asked.

"Probably off to the Hellions to trash the place," Althea said.

"WHAT?" A roar could be heard. They turned around and saw Monet and a few Hellions glaring at them. "WHAT DID YOU SAY?"

"The Hellions go to school here too?" Kurt asked.

"Yes," Monet snorted. "And knowing our luck we might end up getting kicked out of school too because of you freaks!"

Beef thought a minute. "Monet, they don't know about us being mutants."

"Yeah but what's the point of us going to Bayville High if they get kicked out?" Bevatron told them.

"Oh yeah," Beef nodded. "You're right. Still, we shouldn't worry too much. I mean Selene, Emma Frost and Shinobi Shaw are back home. Even if the others are away on business how much trouble could three girls cause?"

"Oh boy," Scott gulped. "We gotta get over there fast!"

"Kitty and I will get the dynamic duo and try to save Campbell," Lance told them. "The rest of you try to round up Trinity. We'll meet you there."

"I'd better go with them," Amanda volunteered. "Not only can I teleport them, I can guide them around the school."

"That shouldn't be too hard," Kitty grumbled as they ran off. "Just follow the sound of screaming."

"Come on Hellions," Monet snapped. "Let's go teach those brats a lesson!"

"I'd be careful if I were you," Althea warned as they ran off. "My sisters may only be 13 years old but they're a lot smarter than…"

"If you're smart you low class freak, you'll stay out of our way," Monet snapped before she flew off. The Hellions ran behind her.

"Well I tried to warn them," Althea shrugged. "I think we should get a soda first."

"Yeah there's no rush," Wanda agreed.

"No **rush?**" AGU Wanda asked. "They're going after your sisters!"

"Aren't you concerned for their safety?" Kai asked.

"I was until Monet proved she was just a big jerk as she is in our universe," Althea said.

"I would like to point out that Trinity are not only scientific geniuses," Jean explained. "They have telekinetic powers, can create psychic lightning, are able to breathe underwater and are highly trained ninjas. Well ninjas in training technically."

"They're also members of our little clan," Althea told Kai. "So that should give you some idea how well they are trained in the martial arts."

"Don't forget the fact that they're completely insane," Scott pointed out.

"But still the Hellions are dangerous!" Danielle told them.

"So were the Sentinels, Sabertooth, Cobra," Kurt counted. "Magneto's acolytes, Juggernaut, Dr. Doom, the Hulk, those monsters that escaped the from Forge's Middleverse machine at the Sadie Hawkins dance…"

"They tangled with one of those things?" AGU Kurt was shocked. "And they survived?"

"They did but the poor monster almost didn't. They frightened the poor thing into submission," Hank explained.

"Don't forget the Demon Bear," Althea added. "They cleaned its clock in less than ten minutes."

"The Demon Bear? **My **demon bear?" Danielle gasped. Realization hit her. "The Hellions don't have a chance do they?"

"Nope," Scott shook his head. "Not a prayer. Come on let's see if we can at least keep them from burning the Hellion's place to the ground."

Unfortunately as it turned out they were too late for that. "Oh my…" Hank's jaw dropped as he saw smoke and flames coming out of the top story windows of the Hellion's boarding school.

Althea chuckled as she saw several Hellions writhing in pain on the front lawn. "Now you were going to teach **who** a lesson?" She lightly kicked an unconscious Monet in the side.

"Oooohhh…" Beef moaned. "That purple lightning attack sure packs a punch."

"HELP ME!" A tall black haired youth wearing nothing but a tattered pair of boxers ran out. "THESE THREE LITTLE MANIACS JUMPED ME AND STARTED STRIPPING ME! THEN THEY SET THE ACADEMY ON FIRE!"

"Who's that?" Wanda asked.

"Shinobi Shaw, Sebastian Shaw's son," AGU Wanda explained. "And running after him are Selene and Emma Frost."

"GET THIS GUM OUT OF MY HAIR!" Selene screamed. There was pink gum all over her head and hands. "GET IT OUT! GET IT OUT!"

"WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON THOSE THREE LITTLE…" A younger version of Emma Frost ran behind her, also covered in gum.

"Looks like my sisters brought along their portable Bubble Gum Blaster," Althea quipped.

"How?" Vincent was in shock. "How on earth did they…?"

"I find it best not to think too hard on how they are able to create the mayhem they do," Hank sighed.

"Gee I wonder **where** they get that talent from?" AGU Rogue glared at the Misfits and X-Men.

Just then Amanda teleported in with Kitty, Todd, Pietro and Lance. "You will not **believe **what these maniacs did!" Amanda snapped. She saw the scene before her. "On the other hand maybe you will."

"What did they do?" Scott sighed.

"Not much," Todd shrugged. "Just slimed a few lockers, sent a few cherry bombs down the boy's toilets, put make up on the Principal, let loose all the frogs from the Biology class."

"Oh and we also glued the principal's desk to the ceiling," Pietro added.

"We couldn't resist," Todd shrugged. "Brought back a lot of good memories."

"And let's not forget Lance shaking up the place," Kitty glared at Lance.

"Those security guards were rushing at us with drawn weapons," Lance defended his actions. "All I did was knock them back a little. I didn't wreck the school for once!"

"For once?" Tabitha looked at him.

"Don't ask," Wanda sighed.

Just then three familiar looking demons ran out of the building. "Aren't those the creatures from the Sadie…?" Amanda dropped her jaw.

"Yup," Althea groaned. "TRINITY!"

"I guess they made another little trip to another dimension," Scott groaned.

"Boy that was fun!" Brittany giggled from above them. They looked up and saw the three little girls hiding in a tree.

"Let's see where we go next!" Quinn shouted. They turned on their own machine and disappeared.

"Great, now my sisters are wrecking stuff through other dimensions," Althea groaned.

"Yeah and you were doing **so well** on your own!" AGU Kitty glared at them. "X-Men we need to round up the monsters and put the fire out."

"**You** stay out of our way," Vincent pointed to the gang. "You've done enough damage!' They ran off to take care of the disaster.

"We just got them kicked out of Bayville High didn't we?" Kurt asked.

"That's pretty much a given," Scott sighed as he watched the mayhem. "And maybe gave them a few lawsuits."

"Okay time to go now," Althea said grabbing the IM NUTS machine. "Before they decide to kill us."

"That does seem to be the most expedient course of action," Hank agreed.

Soon they were in another location. "Where are we now?" Jean asked.

"Hey this looks like Misfit Manor," Pietro looked around.

"It is Misfit Manor!" Another Quicksilver ran towards them. "Cool! More alternates! HEY GUYS!"

"Hi there," Althea waved as they entered the room. "Have you seen my sisters?"

BOOOM!

"Does **that** answer your question?" Wavedancer asked her.

"So that wasn't one of my delusions," Avalanche said. He turned around. "YOU STAY OUT OF THIS?"

"You're seeing the Coyote huh?" Lance sighed. "What pills are you on?"

"Mexnomaxmill," Avalanche said. "Why?"

"Try the Pactomaxadril," Lance told him. "That really helps."

"Thanks," Avalanche said. "How do you spell it?"

"GET OFF YOU BILGE RAT!" Shipwreck entered the room trying to fight off Polly.

"GIVE ME THE BOOZE AND I WILL!" Polly squawked.

"Anybody wanna bet how long this fight will be?" Blob called out.

"I'm in!" Todd shouted.

"Hey other me, wanna go cause trouble at the Pit?" Quicksilver asked.

"Wanna start with hiding Sgt. Snuffles?" Pietro grinned.

"I thought you'd never ask," Quicksilver grinned and the two of them ran off.

"Double the Misfits, double the headache," Kurt groaned.

BOOOM!

"And double the destruction," Jean sighed as plaster fell from the ceiling.

"Another reality where the Misfits run wild," Scott banged his head on the wall. "I can't take much more of this!"

**Sorry Scott you're just gonna have to! There's more madness to come! Believe it! Hope you liked this chapter somewhat Agent G! Of course it's nowhere near as good as your series but hey, all in good fun! **


	10. This is So Not Normal

**This is So Not Normal**

"As if getting lost wasn't bad enough, now we gotta track down Althea's insane sisters," Kitty grumbled. "And now we're stuck in some forest somewhere!"

"Well it's not my fault they decided to crash the party," Althea told her. "So to speak. At least the other Trinity in that last dimension gave us a tracker so we could follow them."

"And it explains the basic situation of every universe," Hank added. He took a look at the device. "According to this in this universe there are no such thing as mutants. Everyone is…well, normal."

"Hey we're on the grounds of the Institute," Kurt pointed. "There it is."

"I think it might be best if we remained hidden," Hank told them.

"Why?" Todd asked.

"Why? Do you really have to ask why?" Scott looked at him.

"Well yeah," Todd said.

Lance gave Scott a look. "Summers you have got to learn not to ask things like that."

"Listen in every one of these dimensions so far we've caused several fights, destroyed more than a few buildings, set some fires, outed ourselves…" Scott began. "Do you see where I'm going with this?"

"No…" Todd blinked.

"Jean, I'm getting another one of my headaches again," Scott groaned.

"Let's just sit back and watch," Jean suggested. "Stay together. I'll use my telepathic abilities to keep us hidden."

"You can do that now?" Hank was surprised.

"What can I say, I'm getting better with my powers," Jean shrugged.

"Look," Kitty pointed as the Institute doors opened. "Someone's coming."

"No problems," Jean focused. "Now they won't see or hear us."

"Let's get a closer look," Todd said. "I wanna see this."

"Well it can't be too weird if we're all humans," Kitty admitted. "How bad could it be?"

Out of the doors burst Rogue. She was wearing a red and white Bayville High cheerleader uniform, carrying pom poms and a large book bag. "All right! What a great day for cheering!" She said cheerfully.

"Rogue is a cheerleader?" Lance's jaw dropped.

"No freaking way!" Kitty gasped. "I can't believe it!"

"Oh boy! Oh boy! Today is our Gun Club Meet!" Cheerleader Rogue pulled out a large bazooka and fired it into the sky, setting off several colorful explosions. "GIVE ME A B! GIVE ME AN O! GIVE ME ANOTHER O! GIVE ME AN M! WHAT HAVE YOU GOT? BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!"

"Okay **now** I can believe it," Kitty said.

"Oh great," Another Jean walked out looking very different. Her red hair was short and spiked. She was wearing large silver hoop earrings, jeans with the knees cut out, a green top and a black leather jacket. "Another day another boatload of crap."

"Come on Jean," Another Kitty walked out. She was wearing a sensible gray outfit and glasses and had short hair. "School is fun and very educational."

"Bite me loser," Biker Jean snarled.

"At least I can **spell** loser," Brainy Kitty sneered.

"I don't believe this," Jean blinked.

"I know," Kitty cringed. "That outfit I'm wearing is horrible! Gray with sensible shoes? Ewwwww!"

"Yeeeha!" A normal looking Evan rode out on his skateboard. "See ya later! Gonna catch some air!"

He nearly knocked over Biker Jean and Brainy Kitty. "Watch you ya little twerp!" Biker Jean raised her fist. "Before I ram that skateboard up your ass!"

"Well at least Daniels hasn't changed from our reality," Pietro remarked.

"Hey sexy ladies," A normal looking Kurt came out. He was wearing an open white shirt with a chain on his neck and 70's style tan pants and boots. "How about later we get our grove on?"

"Not in this or **any **lifetime," Brainy Kitty glared at him.

"It's like all the losers escaped from the Loser Asylum," Biker Jean groaned.

"Oh man I look like Fez from that show; you know the one that takes place in the Seventies?" Kurt groaned.

"You mean That Seventies Show?" Todd asked.

"Yeah that's the one," Kurt nodded. "What's its name again?"

"And people call me dumb," Todd groaned.

"Well **that's** something I thought I'd never see," Kitty blinked. "An instance where Toad is smarter than Kurt."

"**That's** also something I'd never thought I'd see," Jean pointed.

"Come on darling, you don't want to be late for work at the office," A very well dressed human looking Raven Darkholme walked out. On her arm in a very expensive suit was Sabertooth. He didn't look as feral and he had shorter hair that was well trimmed though he kept his mutton chops. "As the president of the company you have an image to maintain. Even if you have to work day and night to keep our family wealthy."

"Anything to get away from you…" Corporate Creed grumbled. "I can't wait for my first heart attack."

"Mother! Mother wait for me!" A teenage Graydon Creed ran after her. He was wearing thick rimmed black glasses, a gray suit and tie and carrying a purple lunch box.

"Graydon! Don't run so fast! You might hyperventilate and pass out," Raven warned him. "Then you'll hit your head like last time and go to the hospital and we don't want that do we?"

"No Mother," Graydon said obediently.

"Graydon Creed, Mama's boy," Lance snickered. "This is just too good to stop watching."

A strangely familiar handsome blond teenager in a Bayville High letterman jacket walked out surrounded by Jubilee, Tabitha, Amara, a human looking Lina and Angelica. They were giggling and laughing with him. "Man who's that guy?" Pietro whistled. "He's almost as big as stud as I am."

"Hi Freddy," Brainy Kitty sighed happily. "Remember we have that tutoring session later on today!"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world babe! Come on ladies, let's go to school!" Slim Fred grinned.

"FREDDY?" Kitty's jaw dropped. "THAT'S BLOB?"

"No powers remember?" Lance reminded her. "So no Fat Freddy."

"Wow," Jean was stunned. "I mean **wow."**

"Guess you wouldn't mind getting kidnapped by **that** Fred huh?" Wanda smirked.

"Yeah I mean…" Jean covered.

"Thanks a lot Jean!" Scott snapped.

"Looks like you have other tastes in this reality," Althea pointed.

A biker on a motorcycle drove up. Biker Jean ran over to the driver. He took off his helmet. It was Todd only he had less froglike features. "Hey Hot Stuff! Let's ride!"

"You got it baby," Biker Jean gave Biker Todd a passionate kiss. "Oh you are so hot!"

"I'm smoking, doll face," Biker Todd grinned.

"Okay I am officially ill," Jean groaned.

"That makes two of us!" Althea bristled. "And what's wrong with his face? He looks so…so…horrible!"

"I think it's an improvement," Kitty said. "He doesn't look like Kermit the Frog's second cousin."

"Hello! No powers!" Todd snapped. "Which means no experiments on Toad!"

"You are such a tramp," Brainy Kitty made a face at Biker Jean.

"At least I can get a date!" Biker Jean snarled as she took off on the Harley with Biker Todd.

Just then two more figures in prep clothes skipped out. "Isn't it a wonderful day? Let's skip school and go antiquing!" A Preppy Peter grinned.

"Why not?" A short haired preppy Lance grinned back and gave Peter a quick kiss.

"Now I am getting one of **my **headaches," Lance moaned. "And a big wave of nausea...accompanied by a desire to kill myself."

Xavier rolled up on his wheelchair. He looked very dapper but slightly dazed. "Oh isn't it wonderful to see all our students and family on this glorious day?"

Cain Marko walked out in a business suit. "Isn't it a little early Charles for you to be hitting the sauce?" He told his half brother.

"It's nearly midnight in Tokyo," Xavier grinned as he pulled out his flask and took a drink.

"No wonder Dad left me the estate to manage," Cain groaned. "Erik can you try to keep an eye on him today while I have a meeting with our lawyers? I think I may be able to get them to drop some of the charges against the school today."

"Sorry my friend today I have to go pick up my son," Erik Magnus walked out in a dapper gray business suit.

"Yeah we gotta drag him out of the looney bin," A well dressed Wanda with long hair and an expensive looking red dress snickered.

"Now Wanda, remember we have to be supportive when we pick up your brother from Rolling Glades today," Magnus told her. "Try not to give him a hard time about his shock therapy again."

Just then a car pulled into the driveway. Shipwreck was driving and Ororo was in the passenger seat. She was dressed in a black leather outfit and kissing him wildly. "I love sailors!" She giggled.

"Here we are babe," Shipwreck grinned. "Home safe and sound."

"See you tonight lover boy," Ororo got out, slightly tipsy and stumbled away from the car.

"Make it tomorrow," Shipwreck called out. "I gotta recharge my batteries." He pulled away.

"Okay everyone," Hank blinked as he watched Ororo's half drunk counterpart wobble back inside the mansion. "Let's not tell Storm of what we saw here. **Ever!"**

"I don't think that's going to be much of a problem," Scott winced.

"Yeah we all kind of enjoy breathing without using a life support system," Lance agreed. "Does anyone else hear sirens?"

Suddenly several police cars pulled up. Logan stepped out wearing a suit and a tan trench coat. "THIS IS DETECTIVE LOGAN WITH THE FBI! YOU'RE UNDER ARREST FOR EMBEZZLEMENT, BRIBERY, AND LIGHT TREASON!"

"Oh crap!" Magnus shouted. "They must have found out about the houses we built in Iraq!"

"TAKE ME!" Sabertooth begged. "I'll tell you anything you want to know just keep me away from my wife!"

"Wow look at all the people," Drunken Xavier giggled. "And all the neat flashing lights..."

"SHRED EVERYTHING! SHRED EVERYTHING!" Raven ran around like a lunatic as the cops chased her.

"Mommy! Mommy help me!" Young Graydon was being chased by some dogs.

"EAT LEAD COPPERS!" Drunken Ororo had somehow got hold of a laser and was blasting the police cars.

"So much for the theory that we'd be normal if we weren't mutants," Wanda quipped.

"Scott I don't think anything we could have done would made this worse," Althea remarked as the chaos continued.

"Yeah it's official," Scott groaned. "We're screwed no matter what universe we end up in."

"Where are **you **anyway?" Todd asked.

Suddenly another car pulled up. Duncan Matthews leapt out of the car but was restrained by police officers. "Let me go!" He protested. "My boyfriend's in there!"

"DUNCAN! SWEETIE HELP ME!" Scott could be seen being dragged in handcuffs by police. He wasn't wearing sunglasses but he was wearing a black dress with matching pumps and lipstick. "GET YOU HANDS OFF OF ME YOU PIGS!"

"Scott! I'll wait for you!" Duncan cried out. "Even if we have to have a prison wedding I'll marry you!"

"THAT'S IT!" Scott grabbed the device and turned it on. "WE'RE OUT OF HERE!"

"I think out of all the dimensions this is the one place we **should** have set on fire," Kurt agreed as they left.


	11. Meet More Maniacs

**And now a fic based on the characters of L1701E! Hope you like it! **

**Meet More Maniacs**

"Okay how did we end up in Cleveland?" Scott groaned as he looked at the surrounding city. "Could somebody explain **that?"**

"I told you the location of realties are all random," Hank explained as he poured some grape juice he got from a local vendor into the IM NUTS machine.

"I didn't think they'd be this random," Scott groaned. "Why did we have to end up in Cleveland of all places?"

"You better watch what you say about the Kid of Rock's hometown, Dork," A strange youth with wild shoulder length blond hair hovered above them. "Nobody and I mean **nobody** disses Cleveland while I'm around and gets away with it!"

"The What of What?" Pietro looked up at the figure. "Who the heck are you?"

He was wearing white tights with red and black razor designs on them, an Ozzy Ozborne T-Shirt with a white and black leather jacket, platform boots with red and black fringe and the same color wrist cuffs. His face was painted a lot like the Ultimate Warrior's with white face paint with red and black streaks. He also had on sunglasses with heart shaped frames and carried a planet shaped green and blue guitar.

"You don't know who Kid Razor is?" He snorted. "I'm insulted."

"You should be used to it," Pietro quipped. "Considering your fashion sense."

"You insulting the Kid of Rock's style Frou-Frou?" Kid Razor scoffed. "You look a lot like that loser Quicksilver, and that's not a good thing! The only good taste he has is his taste in women, like that wife of his, Rrarrrr!"

"Wait a minute…**What **did you say?" Pietro blinked.

"In fact a lot of you look like those X-Men," Kid Razor looked at them.

"Well some of us are," Kitty explained. "We're from another dimension."

"I can dig that," Kid Razor nodded. "You're Kitty Pryde right?"

"You do?" Kitty asked.

"Hey babe, the Kid of Rock has seen all sorts of weird stuff since he started this superhero gig," He grinned. "Of course right now I'm seeing a lot less of Shadowcat than I usually do." He indicated her chest. "Have you ever considered surgery or something because your counterpart's are a lot bigger!"

"She already stuffs," Pietro snickered.

"CAN IT QUICKSILVER!" Kitty snarled.

"Let's see that's the Beast Old Blue Fur himself," Kid Razor looked around. "The Scarlet Witch looking mighty fine…"

"Oh…" Wanda's cheeks turned pink. She didn't know why but suddenly she felt rather giddy.

"Watch it pal," Pietro felt rather protective of Wanda for a moment. "She's zapped people into walls for less!"

"She can zap me anytime," Kid Razor winked.

Wanda couldn't help but giggle. Pietro was stunned by this reaction. "Wanda what's wrong with you? You got a cold or something? It sounds like you're actually…giggling? Like you enjoy this!"

"Can't fault the lady for good taste," Kid Razor shrugged. "Oh that reminds me, you folks don't have a Jubilee with you do ya?"

"She's back in our dimension," Scott asked. "Why?"

"That's a relief," Kid Razor sighed. "Of course I could have gone without seeing a Dork Light version of Cy-clod over here!"

"WHAT?" Scott growled showing that Kid Razor was getting on his nerves.

"Now you the Kid of Rock has never seen before," Razor whistled at Althea. "Love your look babe! Kind of remind me of a dark haired punk Heather Locklear. Wanna hang out with a better version of Richie Samboa?"

"Sorry, Razor boy," Althea put her arm around Todd. "But I'm more of a Gene Simmons kind of girl myself."

"Yeah," Todd stretched out his tongue. "Wavedancer's the Toad's girl and don't you forget it!"

"Whoa, Ol' Gene would be impressed," Kid Razor whistled. Then he saw Jean. "But not as impressed as I am with you Red. You must be tired cause you've been running through my mind all night long! Oh yeah!"

"All right that's it!" Scott fumed. "Just who are you anyway?"

"Man didn't I explain all this or is your brain running on empty?" Kid Razor rolled his eyes. "Oh wait you're Cyclops so naturally…"

"Just ignore him, we all do," Wanda interrupted. "We just want to know who you are."

"Well Lady in Red I'll tell you," Kid Razor winked. "I am the one and only Rock and Roll Cavalier of Cleveland, the Hero of the Heartland, the latest and greatest of all superheroes! I am the embodiment of the power of rock and roll! I am KID ROCK!" He strummed his guitar to play a powerful solo.

"More like Kid Ego," Scott grumbled.

"He's not bad," Todd admitted.

"He's an idiot," Scott told him.

"You? A copy of the King of Dorks, calling the Kid of Rock an idiot?" Kid Razor snorted. "Don't make me take my guitar and smash you into next week!"

"I'd like to see you try," Scott snapped.

"Scott don't let him goad you," Jean sighed.

"Listen to the woman, Cyclops Lite," Kid Razor grinned. "If not I could always date her and show her a good time with a real man."

"Kill him Scott," Jean glared at him.

"This should be interesting," Pietro snickered.

"Oh really? More interesting than the time I had some fun with your future wife," Kid Razor smirked. "I've heard that Crystal chick shags like a minx!"

"All right pal!" Pietro made a fist. "Nobody hits on my future babe even if I haven't heard of 'em!"

"Please! You're as pathetic as INXS when they had to use a reality show to find a new front man," Kid Razor waved.

"This from a guy who wears more makeup than Paris Hilton?" Pietro mocked. "And worse fashion sense?"

"Oh the Kid of Rock is seriously losing what little patience he has with you clowns!"

"Have you looked in a mirror lately Bozo?" Pietro asked. "Oh wait, of course you haven't. They tend to break when you look in 'em!"

"Pietro you're picking a fight with a man for hitting on a wife you don't even have yet?" Lance looked at him.

"Lance, he just insulted Kitty too," Pietro reminded him.

"He's right," Kitty nodded. "Get 'em Lance!"

"Oh please," Kid Razor snorted. "Like you could take me on!"

"We can try!" Scott snapped.

"Hey aren't you the one who keeps saying we shouldn't start fights with the locals?" Todd pointed out.

"Forget it! This punk's going down!" Scott snapped as he blasted Kid Razor with his optic blasts.

Surprisingly Kid Razor only was knocked back a few feet. "Nice try Goggle Boy," He quipped. "Let's see how well you do!" With a strum of his guitar he sent out a multicolored beam of his own that sent Scott flying backwards right into some trash cans. "Oh yeah! Another Dork bites the dust!"

"Why don't **you **eat some dust?" Jean couldn't take any more of his attitude. She telekinetically tossed him into a wall. "On second thought go on a diet! You're pretty heavy!"

"That comes from a diet of Heavy Metal Babe," Kid Razor brushed himself off. "Well that and being pretty much invulnerable. Here! Chew on this!" He sent another sonic wave at her.

"All right! Now it's personal!" Scott jumped out of the trash.

"Let's get him!" Lance nodded.

"Let's not and saw we did," Todd sighed. "I'm already tired out from the last few reality fights yo."

"Fine you can sit this one out," Kurt shrugged. "I could use the exercise." He teleported over to Kid Razor and ended up on top of him.

"What you could use is some extra strength dandruff shampoo," Kid Razor mocked as he grabbed Kurt easily and tossed him aside.

"Hello!" Trinity called out as they flew down and landed next to Althea. "What's going on?"

"Oh the guys and some of the X-Men are getting into a fight," Althea explained as Kitty and Lance were tossed aside by another guitar solo . "Again."

"What's really weird is that nobody seems to mind this," Todd said noticing how calm the people passing by were.

"Oh this is nothing," Kid Razor waved. "Superhero brawls in Cleveland are as common as traffic jams. OH YEAH!" He strummed his guitar and a multicolored beam knocked down Lance again.

Althea, Todd, Hank, Wanda and Trinity watched the mayhem. "Well they can't blame us on this," Daria remarked as Scott was once again tossed into the trash.

"Oh dear," Hank sighed as the others fought. "I believe I will go into the next store and purchase some more aspirin." He went off to do so.

"Wow a fight and we're not in it," Brittany quipped. "Or didn't start it."

"It seems so wrong," Quinn said. "Not to mention a bit out of character."

"I think the others are just a little tired and cranky from all the dimension hopping. You think we should help them?" Althea asked.

"How?" Todd asked. "I mean like they guy's swatting the X-Men and Lance around like flies."

"AAAAAAAAHHHH!" Pietro screamed as he flew backwards and hit a hot dog stand.

"Not to mention Pietro," Todd said. "I admit that it does make me like the guy a bit. Not that I'm crazy about him hitting on you."

"Yeah hey Wanda how about…?" Althea turned and saw Wanda just standing there gazing dreamily at Kid Razor. "Wanda? Yoo hoo?" She waved her hands in front of her face. "Wanda? Hello? Are you in there?"

"He's so…dreamy," Wanda was oblivious to everything.

"You have **got** to be kidding me!" Todd groaned.

"Okay the Scarlet Witch is down for the count," Althea sighed. "Seeing her brain has decided to take a vacation. And Beast obviously can't handle it. So now what do we do?"

"Looks like the guy is pretty much unstoppable," Todd commented as he saw Jean and the others flying all over the place. "I mean that Power of Rock is pretty much impossible to beat."

"Power of Rock huh?" Daria thought. "Hmmmm…"

"Power of Rock..." Althea thought. "Wait a minute! That's it!"

"I think there's a way to beat him," Brittany thought. "What we need is some speakers and…"

"A computer with an internet connection," Quinn noticed the cyber café.

"For once I know exactly what you little maniacs are thinking of," Althea said. "Todd you still have that Ipod you swiped?"

"Yeah Al," Todd gave it to her. "Here it is. What do you need it for?"

"We need it to help Scott and the others stop this stupid fight once and for all," Althea told him. "And I think my sisters and I have just figured out the way to do it! Come on!" They ran into the café.

_"CLEVELAND ROCKS! CLEVELAND ROCKS!" _Kid Razor sang as he strummed his guitar, sending out sound waves at the mutants.

"OKAY THAT'S IT!" Scott sent out a powerful optic blast but it was repelled by a force field around Kid Razor. "WHAT?"

"Yes Ladies and Gentlemen and whatever Cyclops is the Kid of Rock can do it all!" Kid Razor whooped as he strummed some more knocking him down. "Remind me to get you some ass-cream for the butt whooping I'm giving you!"

"Oh yeah well maybe you should get some for yourself!" Pietro zoomed over to him preparing to hit Kid Razor with a speed punch when suddenly he was knocked backwards and fell right on top of Wanda. "HEY! HOW DID HE MOVE THAT FAST?"

"Sorry babe! Didn't mean to clock you!" Kid Razor said.

"That's okay…" Wanda said dreamily.

"Wanda! Get a grip!" Pietro shook her. "HEX HIM! HEX HIM!"

"He spoke to me…" Wanda sighed before passing out.

"I don't believe this!" Pietro moaned. "The **one** time I want her to hex someone…."

"When will you losers ever learn that nothing can stop the Power of Rock?" Kid Razor crowed triumphantly.

"Actually there's **one **thing that can stop the Power of Rock," Althea grinned as she retuned with Todd and the Triplets. "Everything has an opposite. A yin to a yang…And this is **yours!"** She turned on the Ipod.

Kid Razor was laughing. Until the first sounds of an accordion began to smash through the air. "That's not what the Kid of Rock thinks it is, is it?" He blinked.

_"Roll out the barrel, we'll have a barrel of fun…" _The sound of the Happy Polkateers could be heard singing. _"Roll out the barrel, we got the blues on the run, now sing Boom Terrarah! Sing out a song of good cheer! For now it's time to roll out the barrel, cause the gang's all here!" _

"What is that noise?" Kid Rock held his hands over his ears. "It can't be!"

"It is," Althea told him.

_"Now everybody roll out the barrel! Cause the gang's all here!" _

"BEHOLD THE POWER OF **POLKA!"** Trinity shouted as they turned up the volume.

"HOLY VAN HALEN!" Kid Razor cringed. "NO! NO! ROCK IS STRONGER THAN POLKA!"

"Normally I'd agree with you," Althea grinned. "Unless there are two factors…One, the singer is Weird Al Yankovic in his great parodies."

"And two," Daria grinned. "The patent pending Trinity Decibel Destructor Speaker Systems! CRANK IT UP GIRLS!" The triplets turned on a strange looking sound system that amplified the polka music.

"How…?" Hank began as he walked up to the others. "What the…?"

"Don't ask," Lance sighed. "Just accept it and don't ask!"

Then the Polka Power medley from the Running with Scissors album could be heard all over Cleveland. Teenagers ran in terror away from the music as their favorite songs were changed to polka tunes. People raced into their homes and for their earplugs in order to hide from the noise. Well everyone except for Polka fans, insane fan fiction writers and everyone over 80 who danced in the streets with glee.

**(To spare those with impressionable music sensibilities I will not write out which songs were turned into polka, well not all of them anyway. I know not all of you have the tolerance for polka and those that do will just have to go listen to the albums by Weird Al. Go ahead. If you really feel brave listen to them while reading this chapter. But only if you have the stomach and lack of sanity like I do. Do not say you haven't been warned.) **

The X-Men and Misfits couldn't escape. They were rooted to the spot. As was Kid Rock. "SAINT STEVEN TYLER THAT'S INSANE!" He yelled. "GOTTA FIGHT IT!"

"I always thought elevator music was the opposite of rock," Scott asked.

"No, that's the opposite of all music in general," Althea pointed out. "Besides we don't want to kill him."

"Good point," Scott winced. He looked. "Kurt you look like you're **enjoying **this!"

"Well I've kind of grown up around polka so I'm used to it," Kurt admitted.

"Your parents were cruel, cruel people…" Lance moaned in agony.

_"Articuno, Ditto, Muk, Flarion and Old Psyduck, Cloyster, Kingler, Shelder, Gloom, Snorlax and of course Vileplume! Zaptos and Charmeleon! Everybody Polkamon!" _

"AGH! AH! AH!" Kid Razor doubled over like he was hit in the stomach.

"The fabled Polka-Pokemon Punch," Todd's jaw dropped. "I've only heard about it but I never thought I'd actually hear it!"

"I wish we weren't hearing this!" Lance winced in pain.

"_It's time to polka for Ponyta and Pidgey too! Put on your lederhosen and try not to step on little Pikachu!" _Trinity sang along doing a do-si-do. _"You'd better grab yourself a partner!" _

"GET OFF OF ME!" Kid Razor shouted as the Triplets grabbed him and made him twirl around with them. "LET ME GO YOU DEMENTED FANGIRLS FROM HELL!"

_"Like Tentacruel or Bulbasaur!" _The girls sang as they continued to twirl him around. _"Bulbasaur! Hold on a minute! There's still at least a hundred and twenty seven more!" _

"AAAAAAAA!" Kid Razor spun around as Trinity let him go.

"Oh man that's **cruel,"** Lance winced as he looked at Trinity. "Even for **you** guys!"

"Actually Lance that's **mild **compared to this!" Althea changed tracks for her final assault. "TRINITY! FULL POWER!"

" _Mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me go! Beelzebub has a devil by his side for me, for me, for meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" _

"NOT A POLKA VERSION OF BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY!" Kid Razor screamed as he dropped to his knees. "NOT THAT! **ANYTHING **BUT **THAT!"**

"Actually I think it's kind of catchy," Todd bopped his head and snapped his fingers.

"You get weirder every **day!"** Scott groaned.

"It really isn't that bad Scott," Kurt told him.

"I take it back," Scott said. "You **both **get weirder every day!"

"Al come on!" Lance pleaded. "Even **he** doesn't deserve this! **None **of us deserve this!"

"AAAHHHH!" Kid Razor writhed in agony as the accordion solo reached it's peak. "IT BURNS! IT BURNS!"

"What…What's going on?" Wanda groaned as she woke up. "What's that horrible sound?"

"Trust me Sis, you were better off unconscious!" Pietro winced in pain.

"AAAAAHHHHHH!" A giant ray of light emerged from Kid Razor. "IT'S TOO LOUD! CAN'T…FOCUS…MY…ENERGY….CAN'T…THINK…CAN'T…STOP TALKING…LIKE WILLIAM SHATNER! AAAAAHHHHHH!"

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!

The next thing everyone knew they were all flat on their backs and the street was a mess. "Ooh that's gonna leave a big boo boo…" Kid Razor moaned.

"What just happened?" Pietro asked. "Are we dead?"

"I don't think so…" Kurt moaned.

"You're not dead," Hank walked up to them out of a store with shattered windows. "The two opposing harmonizing frequencies of the musical venues created an…"

"In normal person talk please!" Todd interrupted.

"The Power of Rock and the Polka Power made a big boom," Hank said annoyed. "**That** clear enough for your miniscule mind?"

"Yes…" Todd coughed as he sat up.

"All that from **Polka** music?" Jean was surprised at the destruction.

"Hey even Superman has his kryptonite," Althea shrugged. "It was the only thing that made sense."

"THAT MAKES **SENSE** TO YOU?" Kitty yelled. "WE WERE LUCKY WE WEREN'T KILLED BY THAT RACKET!"

"Hey look!" Todd pointed. "He's changing yo!"

Kid Razor slowly morphed into a different person. A nineteen year old male with short messy brown hair with an Aerosmith T-Shirt, jeans and sneakers. "Ohhhh…" He sat up and held his head. "What hit me?"

"You're alter ego got a little out of hand kid," A voice said. Everyone looked up and saw a glowing figure. He had long blonde hair, a futurist style silver jumpsuit with blue shoulder pads and an open neckline in the shape of a lightning bolt. He had large silver platform boots and a killer smile.

"Ronnie?" The boy groaned. "What happened? I thought the Power of Rock was invincible?"

"Nothing's ever invincible kid," Ronnie the Ghost told him. "Okay maybe American Idol's Nielsen Ratings this season but…Like the lady said, everything has an opposite."

"O-kay," Lance blinked. "Hello I'm totally lost and **you **are?"

"Oh sorry, I'm Robert Parkins," He sheepishly scratched his head. "My friends call me Bobby. This is Ronnie Rocker, he's a ghost of a rock star trapped in my mystical guitar."

"Wait a minute, I've heard of this guy," Lance thought. "But I thought he was still alive?"

"Maybe he is in our world?" Kitty suggested. "I don't remember."

"Long story short when I play my mystical guitar I turn into the Rock and Roll hero Kid Razor," Bobby explained. "He's a really great guy, he just…says what he thinks and that kind of rubs some folks the wrong way."

"You mean like Simon Cowell only a slightly flasher dresser?" Kurt asked.

"Bingo," Ronnie nodded. "Just add in a lot of superpowers too."

"And the ability to damage more than lousy singer's egos," Kurt quipped as he looked at the destruction around them.

"Oh yeah like you **guys** didn't have anything to do with it too," Kitty folded her arms.

"Do me a favor, don't tell anyone about this okay?" Ronnie asked. "I mean the Kid of Rock has a few powerful enemies and…"

"I gotcha," Althea waved. "But I find it weird that no one ever thought of doing that before."

"Maybe it was too obvious?" Daria shrugged.

"Maybe it was too **insane?**" Kitty glared at her.

"Yeah I'll go with **that** one," Wanda agreed.

"Only a really crazy person could think up something like that," Jean said.

"It was **my** idea," Althea gave her a look.

"Like I said…" Jean smirked. Althea gave her a mock punch in the arm.

"Okay I think it's time to leave now," Hank sighed. "Come on, it's time to cause more destruction in the next reality!"

"Bye! Fighting you was fun!" Trinity cheered as they turned on their own device and teleported away. The others followed in their device.

Soon they were all in a lavish hotel room. "Well this is nice," Kitty remarked.

"Phew! What reeks?" Another Lance walked into the room. He was wearing a Kiss like silver jumpsuit. "Oh stupid question."

"Just what I need," Scott groaned. "Another annoying Alvers!"

"Hey wait a minute," The other Lance looked around. "You're me and…What's going on here? You guys some kind of inter dimensional travelers?"

"Yup," Todd nodded. "That's us."

"Cool," Other Lance nodded. "Hey guys! Get out here!"

They saw Pyro (dressed in an orange spandex leotard like a Van Halen escapee) and three other people walk in they had never seen before. One was a female with feathered jet black hair and tight black clothes with a jean jacket. The other two were twin teenage boys with long black hair and identical five pointed star birthmarks over their right eye. But that was where the similarities ended. One twin's star was purple and the other one was black.

The purple haired star boy seemed to have a happy go lucky air about him as he was dressed in purple acid washed jeans, colorful sneakers, a Kiss T-Shirt with a purple mesh top, red fingerless gloves and a tiger striped belt with green neon rings attached to it.

The black starred twin was very different as he seemed to be radiating anger and barely controlled rage. He had on a gray T-Shirt, black leather jacket, faded jeans and dark boots.

"Althea? Wanda? What are you guys doing here? Wait a minute…" The dark starred teen looked around. "**Two** Lances? And…What's going on here?"

"Craig this ain't our Toad's Althea," Other Lance explained.

"I kind of figured that when I saw two Lances," The female snickered. "And unless you got a twin you never told us about I'm guessing you guys are some kind of inter dimensional travelers. Am I right?"

"Bingo," Althea said. "There's another me here?"

"Yeah she and her boyfriend Toad are out with Pietro and Fred doing some sightseeing," Pyro waved. "Me I'm happy here. Plenty of things to burn."

"I'm Paul Stanley Starr and this is my twin brother Craig," The Purple Starred youth introduced himself. "Call us Starchild and Darkstar."

"Lila Cheney, Starway," She grinned.

"So what's so different about this reality?" Kitty asked. "And why are you all dressed like you're in a rock band?"

"That's cause we are in a rock band," Craig snorted.

"We're the Superstars!" Paul grinned. "We've just signed a multi-million dollar record contract!"

"You have **got** to be kidding me," Scott's jaw dropped.

"Man no matter how many times I see that look on Summer's face," Craig snorted. "It's still priceless!"

"How?" Scott asked.

"All thanks to our manager," Paul explained.

"No Louie, I need that contract by tomorrow!" Multiple walked into the room talking on a cell phone. "You're breaking up Louie! Can you hear me now?"

It was just then he saw Trinity. Some primal instinct told Multiple to flee for his life. "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" He ran from the Triplets.

"KISSY KISSY BABE!" Trinity yelled as they chased after him. "LOVE YA!"

"Uh who are they?" Lila asked.

"My sisters," Althea said matter of factly. "They're nuts and in our universe they love chasing Multiple and harassing him."

"NO! NO MEANS NO! STOP KISSING ME YOU FREAKS!" Multiple was heard screaming.

"Hmmm, maybe we should tell him the odds of your Althea having sisters like that are pretty good?" Althea asked.

"Nah! Let him find that out for himself," Craig waved. "It'll be fun!" He looked at Wanda. "Uh, hi there…"

"Hi," Wanda blinked. "Uh…uh…."

"Hey wanna party a bit?" Paul asked the gang.

"Why not?" Althea shrugged.

"WHAT?" Scott shouted.

Pyro turned on a radio and soon most of the gang were dancing and having a good time. "Wow this is cool!" Kitty giggled.

"I have to admit Paul is kind of cute," Jean grinned.

"Wanda? Wanda stop drooling over Craig!" Pietro snapped. "What is it with you this trip?"

"I'm starting to miss the Kid of Rock…" Scott moaned as he pounded his head on the wall.


	12. Fun For Young and Old

**Fun For Young And Old**

"Well this is certainly different," Lance looked around. They were in a cheerful looking house. "I wonder where we are this time?"

"Thank God!" Mystique appeared dressed in a black and white nanny outfit. "I thought you'd **never** get here! The kids are in there in the back! I'll be back in a few months!" She ran out the door with a suitcase in hand.

"Kids?" Scott blinked.

**"Months?"** Lance asked.

"Oh my…" Hank blinked as they went back and opened the door. Inside was a colorful nursery and in it were dozens of baby mutants that looked very familiar.

ZZAP! ZAP!

"This is so not going to be easy," Kitty groaned as she saw a Baby Scott happily blast holes in the walls.

"POW! POW!" Baby Scott shouted happily.

"Aww, aren't they cute?" Althea tickled the chin of Baby Todd.

"Not really," Wanda winced as she saw a baby Kurt puke on the floor.

"They remind me way too much of that Avalanche of Avalanches that invaded the mansion," Scott shuddered. "OW! HE BIT ME!"

"He he he," Baby Lance complete with a cute mullet snickered by Scott's leg.

"Good boy," Lance said cheerfully and ruffled the baby's hair. "Who's a good boy? OW!"

"He he," Baby Peter, in full armored form laughed by Lance's leg.

"Why you little…," Lance growled.

"Don't even think about it Lance!" Kitty grabbed Baby Peter and held him.

"Life is so unfair," Lance groaned.

"Tell me about it," Kurt grumbled as Baby Kitty in her pink rompers was chomping on his tail. "Baby Kitty! My tail is not a chewing toy!"

"DIE! DIE! DIE!" Baby Logan and Baby Sabertooth were rolling around trying to kill each other.

"Da! Da! Da!" Baby Quicksilver crawled around at lightning speed.

"BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!" Baby Tabitha was making several large energy bombs and blowing toys up. "BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!"

"BARK! BARK!" A small wolf cub that was obviously a Baby Rahne ran around tugging at blankets.

Baby Amara, Baby Roberto and Baby Angelica laughed as they burned several other toys. Baby Pyro made a little dragon which was put out by Baby Althea and a glass of water. Baby Rogue was twirling around one of the cribs using her super strength. Baby Remy was trying to steal from the toy chest. Baby Wanda was making toys fly around and attack Baby Jean who in turn used her own powers to attack back.

Meanwhile Baby Ororo was happily zapping random mutants with her lightning. Baby Ray was zapping back. Baby Bobby was making snowballs and ice all over the dressers. Baby Jubilee was making sparks. Baby Sammy was zooming all over the place crashing into the walls. Baby Freddy was eating pudding by the caseload. Baby Evan was throwing spikes on the walls. A blue furred Hank and Kurt were climbing the walls. Baby Magneto was zooming around with Baby Xavier who was sitting in a stroller. And a Baby Xi was going wild eating chocolate chip cookies.

In short, the entire room was filled with chaos. "Guys what do we do?" Wanda asked.

"We'd better round them up and try to calm them down," Scott told them.

"Are you nuts?" Kurt looked at him. "These babies are out of control!"

"Look I'm sure we can handle it," Jean said.

"Candy," Baby Jean crawled up to her and tugged at her pants leg. "Candy!"

"No, no candy sweetie," Jean said nicely.

"Candy!" Baby Kurt said.

"No, no candy," Jean told them. "You can't have any."

_"You will give us candy…Lots and lots of candy…"_ A telepathic message was heard.

"Nice try Xavier but you can't force us to give you candy," Jean groaned.

_"Wanna bet?" _Baby Xavier made an evil grin.

Twenty five minutes later…

RRRUMMMBLE!

"BABY LANCE PLEASE STOP MAKING EARTHQUAKES! YOU'LL TEAR THE PLACE APART!" Kitty pleaded.

"Stop pulling my hair!" Jean screamed as Baby Logan grabbed onto her. "OW!"

_"Will you give us candy now?" _Baby Xavier asked.

"NO!" Jean snapped. "OW!"

"GET OFF ME YOU LITTLE…." Wanda's hands were tied with jump rope and she was being ridden by Baby Kurt and Baby Kitty.

"AAAHHHH!" Pietro was being kicked around by Baby Rogue like a ball. "WANDA STOP THIS CRAZY BABY!"

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Scott was flying around the room. "PUT ME DOWN BABY JEAN! PUT ME DOWN!"

"FIRE! FIRE!" Todd ran around using his slime to try and put the flames out. The babies were going wild.

"Get away! Get away!" Kurt was trying to hide underneath an upturned play pen. Several babies were poking at him or using their powers to try and zap him. "OW! Baby Storm! That's not nice!"

"NO! NO BABY MAGNETO! THIS IS NOT A TOY!" Hank was desperately trying to get the IM NUTS machine away from Baby Magneto. He was taunting Hank by keeping the machine out of arm's length and flying it around.

"Candy! Candy! Candy!" Baby Magneto taunted.

"Okay how can there be a Baby Magneto if there's a Baby Wanda and a babyme running around?" Pietro stopped what he was doing and looked at the chaos. "That makes no sense!"

"Less talking! More putting the fires out!" Todd screamed as he ran past him.

"CANDY! CANDY! CANDY!" Baby Magneto chanted.

"Then again when does anything make sense around here?" Pietromoaned.

"CANDY! CANDY! CANDY!" The babies all cried out as one. "CANDY!"

"NO!" Jean shouted. "OW! OW! OW! STOP IT!"

"CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY!" The babies chanted. "CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY!"

"YOU WANT CANDY? HERE'S CANDY! LOTS OF CANDY!" Lance ran in with Althea, their arms loaded with candy.

"CANDY!" The babies squealed and stopped tormenting the others. They leapt at the candy and started to devour it ravenously.

"Where did you get the candy?" Wanda asked as Althea untied her.

"In a huge storage bin with warning labels in the back yard," She told her. "Now run!"

"Quick!" Hank ordered as he grabbed the IM NUTS device. "Lock the door!"

Soon they were outside the room and Lance locked the door. "That should hold them for about thirty seconds!"

"Well at least this is one universe I know my sisters didn't show up in," Althea groaned.

"Are you crazy? How could you just give them candy?" Jean snapped.

"Didn't you see what was going on in there? They were kicking our butts!" Kurt snapped at her.

"We had to distract them long enough so we could escape to the next dimension," Althea agreed.

"But we can't just leave them!" Kitty protested.

"Oh yes we can!" Lance said. "They'll be fine!"

"Yeah but what about the rest of the inhabitants of this dimension?" Kurt quipped.

Just then a loud crash could be heard. They opened the door and saw the babies flying out in a modified crib. They winced as they heard the sound of lasers and babies laughing.

"They're on their own!" Hank told them as he grabbed the IM NUTS device and activated it.

Soon they were outside another Institute. "Okay this reality looks a little saner," Hank sighed.

"Look at this," Kurt pointed at the sign. It said XAVIER HOME FOR RETIRED MUTANTS. BEWARE OF CRANKY RESIDENTS.

"Vat is this? Visiting Day?"

They turned around and saw two much older versions of Toad and Nightcrawler. Very old. Toad's hair was gray and long, down to his knees and he was wearing a green sweater and track pants with sneakers. Nightcrawler's fur was slightly gray in patches and he was wearing glasses. He was wearing a blue track suit and a hearing aid. Both were wrinkled and looked about eighty years old.

"Holy crap," Old Toad grumbled. "What the hell is this?" **(1)**

"Do not tell me, let me guess," Old Nightcrawler sighed. "Inter dimensional travelers right?"

"Yeah, how did you know?" Kurt asked.

"We see them more than we see our kids and grandkids, the little ingrates," Old Nightcrawler grumbled.

"Personally I don't mind mine not showing up," Old Toad sighed. "I have over a hundred and eighty six grandkids and great grandkids and they all want money. I could use the peace and quiet. And so could my wallet."

"A hundred and eighty six….?" Todd's jaw dropped. "Holy crap!"

"Oh boy…" Althea blinked. "I don't want to think about it right now."

"In case you haven't figured it out by now young people this is where all the old X-Men, Brotherhood, Misfits, Acolytes and every other mutant weirdo retires after reaching a certain age," Old Nightcrawler told them. "It used to be a school but after the kids blew it up the seventeenth time…"

"It wasn't the **seventeenth **time you old fool," Old Toad told him. "It was the sixteenth! Then we decided we were all too old to put up with the kids' crap so we kicked them out and took over the joint. Then Cyclops got drunk again and blew the place up."

"Oh yeah," Old Nightcrawler remembered. "You think by then they would have learned to take away his golf cart privileges!"

"Speaking of which," Old Toad chuckled and pointed. "He's at it again!"

"HIT THE MONKEY! WIN A COOKIE!" An old bald Cyclops yelled as he tried to zap a few security guards as he drove around in a golf cart. "HA! HA! HA!"

"He's been a bit unhinged since Jean died that fiftieth time," Old Nightcrawler sighed. "Actually he started to come unglued during the forth time."

"EAT MY DUST FATSO! HAHAHAHAA!" Old Cyclops laughed maniacally as he tried to run a few orderlies over.

"And he went downhill since then," Old Toad sighed.

"What happened to my **hair?**" Scott gasped. "I mean **his hair?"**

"He tore it out after Jean died the seventh time and that Danger Room incident with the mongoose," Old Kurt shrugged. "Then he really started to lose it!"

"Speaking of losing it," Old Toad pointed. "Here comes the gruesome twosome!"

Around the corner walked much older versions of Lance and Kitty. Kitty's long gray hair was in a bun and she had a nice flowered dress on. Old Avalanche was wearing a tan sweater and stretchy tan pants and he had long gray hair. He was leaning on a cane to walk. Both were slightly overweight and bickering up a storm.

"It's a pot if you can boil an egg in it," Old Avalanche grunted.

"It's not a pot if it's less than three inches you jackass!" Old Shadowcat snapped.

"Oh no," Old Shadowcat moaned. "Not the Pot argument again! Let me turn my hearing aid off."

"Hey cool it you howler monkeys!" Old Toad snapped. "We have visitors!"

"Hello we're alternate versions of your younger selves," Hank waved. "No matter how many times and variations I say that it still sounds strange."

"Oh," Old Avalanche noticed Lance and Kitty. "Hey look Kit, us when we were kids. Boy that takes me back. To when I had a future."

"Remember Lance?" Old Shadowcat sighed. "When we were that young and in love? And stupid as hell?"

"Some of us are still stupid as hell," Old Avalanche made a face.

"Yes but enough about you," Old Shadowcat mocked back. She went up to Kitty. "Oh I'd forgotten how pretty I was."

"And I'd forgotten what I stud I used to be," Old Avalanche said proudly.

"More like a dud," Old Shadowcat grumbled. "But anyway I'm sure you kids would like some advice on your relationship right?"

"Well yeah, I guess so," Lance scratched his head. "If it would help."

"Oh well then let me give you some answers. Listen to me boy," Old Avalanche put his hands on Lance's shoulders. "Take my advice…RUN! GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN!"

"What?" Lance gasped.

"For once the idiot knows what he's talking about!" Old Shadowcat turned to Kitty. "You! You're young! You have your whole life ahead of you! Don't waste it with this idiot!"

"Who are you calling an idiot, you old hag?" Old Avalanche snapped.

"You, obviously!" Old Shadowcat snapped. "See any other idiots around here? Well besides the kid…"

"Yeah well I'm not the one who was stupid enough to marry an idiot!" Old Avalanche pointed out. "So that makes you an even **bigger** idiot! Actually you're just bigger period!"

"I never would have if you hadn't knocked me up!" She shouted. "Having your demon spawn ruined my waistline!"

"Okay…" Lance blanched. "A little too much information here."

"I don't know what the hell I ever saw in you! You go nuts over the stupidest thing!" Old Avalanche snapped.

"How can anyone not go nuts with you for a husband?" Old Shadowcat snapped.

"Don't go nuts! Just **go!"** Old Avalanche shouted.

"Oh don't think I won't!" Old Shadowcat snarled. "One of these days…"

"Can it be **today?** Let it be today!" Old Avalanche threw up his hands. "I'll even help you pack!"

"I wish I married Colossus!" Old Shadowcat shouted back.

"I wish **you** married Colossus too!" Old Avalanche retorted. "I'm serving that guy's life sentence with no possibility for parole! If he wasn't dead I'd kill him!"

"Well being married to you has been killing me for forty years!" Old Shadowcat snapped. "In all that time we never had a decent conversation!"

"I didn't want to interrupt!" Old Avalanche snapped back.

"In all that time you never respected me! I am not just some trophy wife!" Old Shadowcat snarled.

"**Trophy wife?** What contest in Hell did I win?" Old Avalanche roared.

"Is it just me or is there a striking similarity in this universe to the Baby Universe we just left?" Hank sighed.

"Kitty listen to me," Old Shadowcat said. "You can do better than him! Listen to the little voice inside of you and it will tell you I'm right!"

"I used to listen to a little voice inside of me," Old Avalanche grumbled. "Now all I hear is a **big** voice!"

"You want a fat lip?" Old Shadowcat made a fist at her husband. "Or should I say a fatter lip?"

"Bring it on!" Old Avalanche raised his cane in anger. "I welcome death!"

A grey furred Beast wandered in wearing stretch pants and a cardigan sweater. "I'm hungry. Is it lunch yet? I want candy!"

"There is definitely a similarity to that last universe," Wanda groaned.

"Vat?" Old Nightcrawler fiddled with his hearing aid. "Vat did he say?"

"Will you fix that thing already?" Old Toad grumbled. "It's not like our grandkids are visiting."

"COOKIE! COOKIE!" Old Cyclops drove by again, a poor orderly holding on for dear life.

"Cookies? Where? Where are the cookies?" Old Beast lifted up his head.

"I could go for cookies," Old Toad said.

"Yeah let's go get some cookies," Old Nightcrawler said. "What were we talking about again?"

"I have seen the future and it's scaring the hell out of me," Scott blanched.

"Oh man I don't know which is a worse fate," Lance winced. "This or death by Sentinels!"

"Actually the Sentinels don't seem so bad right now," Scott admitted.

**(1) In case you haven't figured it out, the elderly X-Men and Misfits section is filled with quotes from Everybody Loves Raymond. I love that show because sadly, it reminds me exactly of my family. I have relatives who sound and act like the Barones. Yeah scary isn't it? Next some really weird realties! As if we haven't seen enough of them! **


	13. And the Weirdness Keeps On Coming

**And The Weirdness Just Keeps On Coming**

"Okay this reality is **really** screwed up," Scott groaned as he stood shivering on the ice flow. "I guess global warming never happened in this world."

"We're just lucky we were able to start a fire with your optic blasts and some frozen branches," Althea warmed her hands by the fire.

"And we met some really friendly penguins," Todd grinned as he hugged two penguins close to his body. There were dozens of penguins surrounding the mutants.

"Penguins which happened to be telepaths," Kitty said. "So let me get this straight, it's the guys that take care of the eggs?"

_"Bingo…" _One of them squawked. _"Some of the guys think that the ladies take a few extra weeks before coming back." _

_"Gee I wonder why? Squawk! Squawk! Squawk! That's all you ever do!" _ A female penguin snapped.

_"Patty this is exactly what our therapist was talking about!" _The Penguin snapped. _"You always trivialize my feelings!" _

"You know I'm starting to think of the asylum as the place with all the sane people?" Wanda told Jean.

"I wonder if they take reservations?" Jean sighed.

"Fascinating," Hank blinked at one of the penguins that were looking directly at him.

"It is not fascinating, it's **insane!"** Scott snapped at him.

_"Calm down pal," _Another penguin put his flipper on his leg. _"Have some squid. It'll make you feel better." _

"A world filled with telepathic penguins," Kurt shivered. "How lucky can we get?"

"Yeah…" Todd grinned. "Think about what we can do with them!"

"I was being sarcastic you nimrod!" Kurt snapped.

_"Uh, we can't shoot laser beams out of our eyes," _Another penguin told Todd, concerned with the thoughts in his head. _"Boy this guy is nuts!" _

"Tell us something we don't know," Pietro grumbled.

_"Hey could you get those girls to stop chasing Bob?" _ Another asked.

"We can walk like a penguin! We can walk like a penguin!" Trinity laughed as they waddled after a very fat penguin.

_"HELP ME!"_ Bob pleaded.

_"Suck it up! You could use the exercise anyway!" _Patty snapped at him.

"Can we go now?" Pietro's teeth were chattering.

"Yes," Hank looked at the device. "The thirty minutes are finally up."

"Great!" Todd stood up with a penguin in his hands.

"WE ARE NOT TAKING A PENGUIN WITH US TOAD!" Scott snapped.

"Aww…" Todd looked disappointed.

"If you're good maybe we'll get you a penguin when we get home," Lance sighed.

"If we do don't give it to Kitty again," Todd grumbled as he put the penguin down.

"Definitely don't!" Kitty grumbled.

"You can't possibly still be mad about that," Lance looked at her.

"You gave me a **used** penguin, Lance!" Kitty snapped. "**Toad's** used penguin!"

"A used killer penguin," Kurt added.

"Oh get over it," Todd snapped. "It's not like you couldn't outrun Zippy!"

"No, but I swear that penguin tries to stalk me!" Kurt snapped.

"Zippy?" Scott looked at them. "Never mind! Let's just get **out** of here!"

"So I gave you a used penguin," Lance said to Kitty as they left through another portal. "It's not like I had the money to buy you a brand new one!"

"I swear our conversations just get weirder and weirder…" Wanda groaned.

They ended up on a cruise ship in the next reality. "Well this reality is a little better," Kurt admitted. "Not to mention a little warmer."

Suddenly to their surprise a group of men in well dressed white purser uniforms began dancing in front of them. To their shock it was the Dreadnoks, all cleaned up and singing. _"Love! Exciting and new! Come aboard! We're expecting you! THE LOVE BOAT!..." _

"Too bad it's not a little saner…" Lance blinked as they sang.

Twenty five minutes and several non alcoholic drinks later…

"I have to admit, I like this version of Cobra a lot better than ours," Hank said as he downed his non alcoholic Purple Platypus. "Barkeep! Another one!"

"Very good sir," Destro the Bartender made him another one.

"At least you're not drinking real alcoholic beverages," Scott sighed. "Where's Nightcrawler and Toad?"

"They went off on a tour with Captain Cobra Commander," Jean told him. "I hope they don't get into too much trouble."

"Oh come on Jean how much damage could they do?" Scott asked.

BOOM!

SHUDDER!

THUD!

The ship jolted violently. "I have got to **stop** asking questions like that!" Scott groaned. Just then Kurt teleported in with Todd. "WHAT DID YOU TWO DO?"

"There was a little incident," Kurt gulped.

"Captain Cobra Commander decided to let us drive the boat," Todd said.

"Pilot! You pilot a boat!" Kurt snapped. "Just like you piloted it into that iceberg!"

"Iceberg!" Scott shouted.

"I told the Captain calling the ship the Titanic Three was a bad idea," Destro the Bartender sighed.

"Titanic **Three?**" Hank asked. "What happened to Titanic **Two?** I assume there **was** a Titanic Two."

"Don't ask," Destro the Bartender closed up. "That's it! I'm going into the weapons business like my father wanted!"

"WOMEN AND CHILDREN FIRST!" The Baroness ran by in a cocktail dress. "SO GET OUT OF MY WAY!"

"SOMEBODY ZIP ME UP!" Captain Cobra Commander ran by trying to put on a floral dress.

"I believe it's time to leave now," Hank sighed. "I knew I should have been drinking something stronger."

One dimension jump and twenty minutes later….

"Okay someone up there is **definitely** messing with us," Kurt groaned.

"Yeah who would have thought that there was a reality where the Professor went broke and he had to turn the Institute into a casino to pay the bills?" Lance said.

The entire mansion was filled with blackjack tables, slot machines and other games of chance. The X-Men of this dimension were all dressed up as gaming proprietors.

"Okay step right up and place your bets!" Gambit called out as he was shuffling at the poker table. "Five card stud and jokers are wild!"

"Well look at the bright side guys," Lance said. "If you X-Men ever do go broke you guys could make a fortune!"

"Lance!" Kitty snapped.

"Look I'm just trying to look on the bright side of things," Lance told her. "Knowledge like this could be helpful in the future. You never know."

"You mean like never bet on black?" Kurt asked. "Yeah that's good to know."

"I learned that it pays to play on the nickel slots," Todd showed them his winnings. "See! I won five whole dollars!"

"I hate to say this but at least Lance has the right attitude," Jean admitted. "We should see this as a learning experience."

"What? To learn how **more** screwed up our lives could be?" Kitty asked. "I think we all know **that!"**

"No to see things in a different light," Hank told her.

"Beast we've been seeing nothing but weirdness ever since this trip started!" Scott told him.

"Cigars, cigarettes…" Beast walked by in a black and pink cocktail dress wearing lipstick and high heels. He was carrying a tray case full of items. "Lucky dice and other things for sale!"

"Like that," Scott blinked.

"Okay time to leave," Hank fiddled with the controls of the IM NUTS machine. "We've learned **enough** from this reality!"

"A little too much if you ask me," Kurt shuddered as they entered the portal to go into another dimension.

WHOOOSH!

WHUMP!

"Is it me or are our landings getting worse?" Scott groaned as he lay on the floor. "Kurt get your tail out of my face!"

"Sorry," Kurt got up. "Althea, I think your sisters were here."

"What makes you say that?" Althea groaned and opened her eyes.

All around them were people screaming in white coats. There were a few small fires and the words TRINITY RULES were written in pink spray paint on the wall. "Of course…" She sighed.

"AAAAAAAAH!" Several people in white coats and white patient outfit screamed when they saw them. "MORE MONSTERS!"

"Monsters?" Hank looked around. "Where? Oh wait…"

"I was right! I was right!" They saw Pyro dancing around wearing a patient's outfit. "I told you the monsters were going to come get me! Ha ha!"

"What is this place?" Pietro looked around.

"I think I know…" Wanda winced. "I recognize this type of place all too well!"

"Oh dear…" Hank looked up and saw a plaque that proclaimed XAVIER'S MENTAL HEALTH INSTITUTE. "This could be awkward."

Twenty five minutes and several doctors locked up in padded rooms later…

"So you see we really have no control over which realties we go through," Hank apologized calmly to the head of the Institute. "We are very sorry for this confusion. And that we sent some of your doctors and nurses over the edge…"

"I know this sounds crazy…" Wanda blinked. "I mean I am looking at you and I can't believe this myself."

"Tell me about it," An adult Wanda with medium length black hair, eyeglasses and a doctor's coat rubbed her forehead. On her desk there was a logo that said DR. MAXIMOFF CHIEF OF STAFF. "The fact that most of the staff was not currently on medication before you got here and saw your arrival is the only reason I am not locking you people up for psychiatric observation. Well that and the entire mutant powers thing…"

"So I'm a doctor and head of the psychiatric hospital?" Wanda blinked.

"Wow talk about your upgrades," Lance remarked.

"Yes I became a doctor when my twin brother Pietro had a mental breakdown," Dr. Maximoff sighed. "He thinks he's Casanova on Tuesdays. Every other day of the week he's just insane."

"RAPUNZEL! RAPUNZEL! LET DOWN YOUR HAIR!" And adult Pietro ran by the door in a dress and long blonde wig. Two orderlies that looked like Logan and Sabertooth ran after him.

"And today is one of his good days," Dr. Maximoff sighed. "You know it's going to take weeks for me to get new staff and calm the old staff down!"

"I'd wipe their minds of the memories if…" Jean began.

"NO!" Dr. Maximoff told her. "You're already tampered enough with their minds don't you think? They'll calm down after a few weeks and some extra medication."

"Hate to say it but she has a point, Jean," Althea pointed out.

"But won't your patients be affected as well?" Jean asked.

"Oh no I'll just tell them it was a government conspiracy that gave them fake drugs to make them see all of that," Dr. Maximoff waved. "They'll eat that up. Ironically they're handling this better than the staff."

"WHOO HOO! I'M HOMER SIMPSON!" Xavier wheeled by the door very fast. "DONUTS! DONUTS!"

"He's been a bit off already since his wife left him," Dr. Maximoff explained. "Been on a drinking and Simpsons binge for days."

"Well I think it's time we must be going," Hank gulped as he turned on the device.

"You know what I've learned from this part of the trip, Avalanche?" Kurt quipped as they left. "I learned we have a knack for driving normal people insane!"

"It took you this long to figure **that** out?" Todd asked.

"I've learned that I prefer running an asylum than being a patient in one," Wanda quipped. "And that my brother is always insane. What about you Jean? What have **you** learned?"

"Not to mind wipe people who are already crazy," Jean rolled her eyes.

"Well at least we know Kitty's perfectly safe," Pietro snickered.

"I should have brought along an extra straightjacket…" Kitty growled.

Once again they landed in a heap in another dimension. And once again they ended up in the Danger Room. "OH COME ON NOW!" Pietro shouted as he ran from giant buzz saws. "This is getting ridiculous!"

"**Once** is a fluke," Scott grumbled as he blasted several lasers. "**Twice **is dangerous! But **three times?** Some one up there is messing with us!"

"That's what I **said!**" Kurt snapped as he teleported out of the way of laser fire.

It didn't take long for the X-Men and Misfits to make short work out of the Danger Room. And to meet their counterparts. "I'm Charles Xaverbear," A bear in a wheelchair, a suit and a bald spot on his head spoke. "Leader of the X-Animals." Behind him was a group of various animals in black and gold uniforms.

"Oh goody we're all animals in this reality too," Scott threw up his hands. "This just gets better and better!"

"Boy I'm really ugly as a human," A toad looked at Toad.

"Just out of curiosity," Lance held up his hand. "Any of you guys named Lance?"

"I'm Lance!" A brown coyote barked.

"Great I'm a coyote," Lance groaned. "It's official, the universe is out to get me."

"It's out to get us **all**," Scott told him. "I keep saying that for years but no one believes me!"

"Well we do **now!"** Kurt rolled his eyes. "Don't rub it in!"

**Yeah I know a lot of random madness in this chapter, but it's always fun. Next…More random fun! He he…**


	14. Dead or Alive

**Dead or Alive**

"Great just great! We end up in a world populated by zombies!" Kurt yelled as he ran for his life. Several zombie versions of the X-Men chased them in a graveyard.

"Just shut up and run!" Althea snapped.

"I wish Dead Girl had come with us," Kitty grumbled. "She'd have talked some sense into these guys!"

"Well she isn't so just deal with it!" Lance snapped. "Hasn't the thirty minutes been up yet?"

"Two more minutes!" Jean told them.

"Oh goody!" Lance groaned.

"This does not qualify as a fun universe!" Todd yelled. "Forge promised us only fun universes!"

"Yeah like that idiot would ever deliver," Wanda groaned.

"WHEEEEEEEEE!" Trinity gleefully flew over them blasting zombies with their powers. _"We're blasting zombies in the morning!" _

"Of course my sisters would **love **this!" Althea groaned.

Scott blasted apart a zombie Tabitha only to have her reform. "It's not hard to knock them down! It's getting them to **stay** down that's the trouble!"

"This is like seriously a bad Danger Room session gone totally out of control!" Kitty screeches as she phased out of the grasp of a zombie Logan.

A zombie Jean popped up out of nowhere and was instantly blasted apart by Wanda. "You've wanted to do that for some time haven't you?" Jean gave her a look.

"How did you ever guess?" Wanda asked sarcastically.

"Hey any reality where you can kill Jean over and over again can't be all bad," Pietro snickered.

"Oh really?" Jean used her telekinesis to impale a zombie Pietro with several metal spikes that were lying on the ground. "I could say the same for you!"

Todd was whacking a zombie Nightcrawler with a board and Kurt was whacking a zombie Toad with a board. "DIE! DIE! DIE!" Todd shouted. "Hey this is kind of fun!"

"DIE! Yah it is," Kurt agreed.

"Good thing our zombies are pretty stupid," Todd said as he whacked his zombie some more."They're barely fighting back!"

"Mine's not that much different than the original," Kurt grumbled underneath his breath.

"Two minutes up! Time to fly!" Trinity cheered as they opened a portal with their machine.

"Finally!" Jean groaned as she opened up a portal of her own. "Come on! Let's get out of here!"

They all went through the portal only to land in a heap in a building of some sort. "Dare I ask where are we now?" Hank sighed.

"We could always ask those guys with the guns," Todd gulped as he pointed to several armed soldiers surrounding them.

One of the soldiers held a device in his hands. "Colonel Fury we have confirmation of alternate positronic emissions left over from the portal!"

A tall bald black man with an eye patch and a SHIELD uniform walked in. "Since when is Fury **black?**" Todd blinked. "Which is actually a cool thing but I'm just saying…"

"Great more lost inter-dimensional tourists," Fury sighed as he looked at the group. "This is the third group this month! Stand down men! We're obviously not under attack."

"Well wait until my sisters get here," Althea warned him. "Then that could change."

"Okay are you X-Men, Brotherhood or other?" Fury sighed.

"Some of us are X-Men," Jean told him. "Cyclops, Nightcrawler, Beast, Shadowcat and Myself."

"Rest of us are Misfits," Althea said. "I'm Wavedancer and these are my team mates, Toad, Avalanche, Quicksilver and the Scarlet Witch…"

"I know who you are," Fury said. "Well most of you. Misfits? That's a new one."

"We're military mutants affiliated with GI Joe," Althea explained.

"GI Joe?" Fury blinked. "As in the action figures?"

"The what?" Todd asked.

"Action figures," Another solider said. "You know like Duke, Scarlet, Snake Eyes, Shipwreck…?"

"They're real people in our world," Althea gave him a strange look. "In fact…Shipwreck's my dad."

"You gotta be kidding me," Fury blinked. "Okay this is **definitely** a new one!"

"And I thought that all monkey X-Men team was weird," One soldier whispered to another.

"I'm sorry about the intrusion," Hank apologized. "We're trying to get back to our home universe. It was really an accident we got into this mess in the first place."

"That device there," Fury pointed at the IM NUTS device. "Did someone named Forge build it?"

"How did you ever guess?" Scott said sarcastically.

"At least we're not the only ones he does it to," Fury sighed. "Come on, I might as well brief you on the situation in this world."

He led them to another room where several familiar mutants were. "Welcome to Freedom Force," He introduced the adult mutants in the room. "Avalanche, Scarlet Witch, Blob, Toad, Pyro…"

"Hello!" Todd waved happily.

"Another group of inter dimensional travelers?" Avalanche asked.

"At least they're not monkeys," Scarlet Witch shrugged. "Although I do see a younger version of Pietro there."

"Where am I?" Pietro looked around.

"Off with our father, the traitor," Scarlet Witch grunted.

"Also in our group are two former X-Men Rogue and…" Fury introduced. The second female with blonde hair and a red and black uniform Jean recognized immediately.

"Lisa Lizer!" Jean gasped.

"You know her?" Scott asked.

"In our world she was one of the captives in Neverland," Jean explained. **(Evolution XMJ for those who've forgotten.) **"Remember the anti-telepath?"

"That's not all I can do Red," Lisa grinned. "Let's just say I have a few more tricks up my sleeve."

"Wait Lisa Lizer was an X-Man in this world?" Jean asked.

"The key word is **was,** past tense," Lisa told her. "I turned on them when they decided to attack the government."

"What?" Scott asked. "What happened?"

"Here's the short version of the story," Lisa said. "I went to the X-Men when they outed me as a mutant in front of my parents. Needless to say my folks weren't exactly thrilled and I wasn't happy that the only place I could go was to the Institute."

"Between her anti-telepath abilities and her attitude she didn't make too many friends there," Avalanche explained.

"Except for me," Rogue admitted.

"She was the only reason I didn't run off and join the Brotherhood," Lisa explained. "Well that and they lived in a really sucky house."

"So what did happen?" Kitty asked.

"Well…" Rogue sighed. "You see there was this Mutant Registration Bill being proposed and we learned where they were keeping all the identities of mutants. The Professor wanted us all to go attack the building and delete all the files. Lisa refused to go and talked me out of helping them."

"I didn't like the fact that the so called law abiding X-Men were more than willing to break the rules when it suited them," Lisa explained. "So…I made a call to the Mutant Registration Office and warned them about the attack. I even managed to get the Brotherhood to help me try and stop them. Long story short, the X-Men are now wanted fugitives thanks to me. That's why I'm called Backstab."

"What's left of 'em," Toad snorted. "Several of 'em are either in prison or turned against the X-Geeks. Believe it or not, they all joined up with Magneto! Isn't that a kick in the pants?"

"So the Brotherhood are the good guys and the X-Men are criminals?" Scott asked. "That's hard to believe!"

"It's not that hard to believe if you think about it," Lance pointed out. "I mean you X-Men are still technically vigilantes right?"

"I hate to admit it Avalanche but you do have a valid point," Hank sighed. "Our activities in the X-Men are barely tolerated only because they suit most of the needs of the powers that be in our government."

"In other words if we ever do something to step out of line or if the government gets tired of us they'd send the Misfits after us?" Kurt asked pointing at the Misfits.

"Actually something tells me they might send someone else after you," Althea said. "They might think we'd be too emotionally involved."

"Yeah some of you would be a little too happy to do it!" Scott glared at Lance.

"I know Lance would love a strip search detail if a certain Kitty was involved," Pietro snickered.

"Wanda…" Both Lance and Kitty said.

"I'm on it," Wanda used her hexing abilities to slam Pietro into the wall.

"OW! THAT HURTS!" Pietro cried out in pain.

"You know I miss doing that," Scarlet Witch snickered.

"Well if you want…" Wanda made a motion.

"Really?" Scarlet Witch asked.

"Be my guest!" Wanda grinned.

"Now wait a minute…" Pietro held up his hands. "You can't just…YEOWWW!" He was slammed against the wall again. "OW! OW! OW! OW!"

"Now this brings back memories," Scarlet Witch grinned.

"OW! OW! OW!" Pietro yelled. "I MISS THE ZOMBIE UNIVERSE!"

"So are mutants hated here too or what?" Lance casually asked his alternate.

"Not as much since the X-Men became criminals," Avalanche told him. "Ironically since we fought against them more mutants have signed up for government service so…"

CRASH!

BANG!

"WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"WHERE DID ALL THAT CHOCOLATE PUDDING COME FROM?" Someone screamed.

FOOM!

"THE PUDDING'S ON FIRE! THE PUDDING'S ON FIRE!"

"Speaking of criminals," Althea sighed. "It sounds like my sisters are here."

"What are they some kind of super villains?" Fury asked.

"More like super hyper genius nutcase thirteen year olds," Althea sighed. "Who have their own machine to travel through dimensions."

"**Another** group of them?" Rogue moaned. "What are we on the alternate reality sightseeing tour or something?"

Just then another portal opened up. Several monkeys in X-Men uniforms showed up. "Oh we're back here again," Said a monkey in a Cyclops costume.

"I told you to ask for directions at that last universe!" A monkey with red hair and a green uniform shook her tail.

"Not the monkeys again…" Fury moaned.

"This trip is getting weirder and weirder…" Scott moaned.

**You know I almost wrote a story about Lisa Lizer that happened like that and maybe I will someday. It would be fun to make up another alternate universe! He he…**

**Speaking of which, there's more fun ahead! **


	15. Future Shock

**Future Shock**

"Once again we appear to be at Misfit Manor," Hank sighed as they emerged from their latest dimension jump.

"Is it me or does this place look even more of a mess than usual?" Althea asked. She looked at the holes in the walls, toys all over the place, pudding stains on all the furniture and other stains of questionable origin on the floor.

"It does," Pietro remarked. "I wonder why?"

A loud unholy screech could be heard. Rumbling through the door a small herd of hopping young mutants with messy hair (colors varying black and brown), muddy clothes and gills careened into the room. Some of them were even climbing the walls.

"Oh, **that's** why," Pietro said.

"Three guesses whose kids **those **are," Kurt chuckled.

"Kids how many times do I have to tell ya?" Toad hopped in wearing his old Brotherhood Uniform and with long hair. "Don't track mud on the ceiling!"

He stopped and looked at the mutants in the living room. "GUYS! PUT ON SOME MORE COFFEE! WE GOT COMPANY!" Toad called out.

"X-GEEKS, SHIELD OR ALTERNATE DIMENSION TRAVELERS?" They heard Blob shout.

"Alternate dimension travelers," Althea said.

"Yeah I kind of figured," Toad said. "ALTERNATE DIMENSION BLOB!"

"AM I THERE?" Blob called back.

"NO!" Toad shouted.

"ONLY ONE POT THEN…" Blob told them.

"Uh," Todd looked around at all the kids going wild. "Ours?"

"You and Al's," Toad nodded. "All twelve of 'em."

"TWELVE?" Althea coughed.

"Ewwww!" Kitty winced at two kids who were poking and pulling at her. "Get your sticky hands off me! Gross!"

"Don't yank my tail!" Kurt snapped at two more toddlers.

"Twelve?" Althea looked at the kids looking at her. **"Twelve?" **

"Why are you wearing that?" Todd asked pointing to the uniform Toad was wearing.

"Oh," Toad looked down at himself. "Well we had another little incident with the laundry…"

"Al still can't do laundry?" Todd asked calmly.

"Bingo," Todd groaned. "I don't know what it is! She still can't get it right! This was all I had so…"

"Aggh!" Pietro winced. "They're poking me!" One kid shot his tongue at him. "AAAHHHH!"

"This is so surreal," Jean looked at all the kids.

"This is frightening," Scott grumbled. "Hey kids! Stop poking me!"

"So they're all mutants?" Todd asked Toad.

"Well we both have dominant X-Genes so of course all the kids would have a combination of our powers," Toad said. "They got Al's gills and beauty and my toad skills and sense of style."

"In other words the worst of both worlds," Pietro snickered. Then blinked. "Except for **that** one!"

One young boy looked exactly like Todd, except for the fact his hair was neatly combed and his outfit was clean. "Hello," He blinked politely.

"He's…clean," Kurt blinked. "Why?"

"Eh, in every family you get at least one oddball," Toad shrugged. He looked at the dapper toddler tugging on his pants. "What is it Travis?"

"Daddy," Travis said politely. "Grandpa Shipwreck threw up in the hall again."

"Drinking or Kitty's cooking?" Toad asked.

"Kitty's cooking," Travis told him.

"You didn't eat none of it did you?" Toad asked.

"Nuh, uh…" A seven year old girl with messy brown hair hung from the ceiling said. "We're not stupid! Just Grandpa."

"Accident or bet?" Toad asked.

"Bet," Travis said. "Polly dared him."

"Yeah I can believe that," Jean said.

"Twelve kids?" Althea was in shock. "I can barely tolerate the Triplets!"

"If it will make you feel better Barney's got a lot more," Toad told you.

"Little Beaky?" Pietro asked.

"He's seventeen in our world and uh," Toad thought. "Well let's just say he started pretty young. You won't find them cause they went out for the day. But the other kids are here."

"Other kids?" Lance asked. Just then the house shook.

"AARON CHARLES ALVERS KNOCK IT OFF!" They heard an Adult Kitty scream. "AND LANCE DON'T ENCOURAGE HIM!"

"I was just demonstrating…" An adult Lance said as he walked in with a harried looking adult Kitty. The adult Avalanche had long hair and a blue shirt with jeans. The adult Kitty's hair was slightly shorter and messier and she was wearing a stained red top and jeans. "Oh brother…"

"Great just what I wanted to see in the morning," Shadowcat sighed. "My past before I became a failure!"

"Failure?" Kitty asked. "What do you mean by that?"

"I mean before I ruined my life by sleeping with **this** idiot and getting pregnant!" Shadowcat snapped. "Because of him I lost my chance to go to college and my place in the X-Men!"

"We're married and have kids?" Kitty's jaw dropped. "AND I LIVE IN THIS INSANE ASYLUM?"

"Well we kind of had to since Lance here got us kicked out of the X-Mansion!" Shadowcat snapped and pointed at her husband. "What was left of it anyway!"

"Hey!" Avalanche snapped. "Let's not forget Shipwreck was the one who set that fire in the first place!"

"Don't **remind** me," Storm walked in a pink bathrobe and fuzzy slippers looking very haggard.

"WHOOOOOHOOOOOOO!" A little boy with white hair and dark skin and nothing else on streaked into the room and out the door.

"HECTOR!" Ororo shouted. "SHIPWRECK YOU IDIOT YOU GAVE THE BOY COFFEE AGAIN"

"Wow that kid is almost as fast as I am," Pietro looked out the window.

"I knew I should have married the Black Panther," Storm snapped. "I would have been Queen of Wakanda! Instead I had to marry the King of **Fools!"**

"Guys let's not ever tell Storm about this universe either," Hank whispered to the others.

"Or my father," Althea added.

"Take a lesson from this Kitty!" Shadowcat snapped. "You should have stuck with Peter when you had the chance!"

"What are you saying?" Avalanche whirled on her. "Peter cheated on you with that Savage Land chick and had a kid with her!"

"The what?" Kitty asked.

"Big green jungle in the middle of the Arctic," Toad explained. "You'll probably run into it sooner or later."

"No I mean about Peter having a kid," Kitty explained.

"Well he was sick and tired of you stringing him along so…" Avalanche explained. He turned on Shadowcat. "So don't blame me for your so called lousy life! You were the one who slept with me just to get back at him!"

"And you weren't exactly turned off by that idea either!" Shadowcat snapped.

"Oh don't give me that 'all men want sex' garbage!" Avalanche snapped. "Besides you're not exactly wasting your life you know? You do work for the Misfits now!"

"I thought you said she wasn't wasting her life," Scott snickered.

"Oh you're **one** to talk," Blob walked in. He had a bald head and a beard and a large flannel shirt and jeans.

"Yeah you of **all **people don't have the right to criticize anyone's relationships!" Shadowcat snapped.

"What are you talking about?" Scott asked.

"Okay here's the deal," Blob told them. "You see there was this mission and we all thought Jean was dead but she wasn't really. But Sinister grew this clone of her called Madelyne and had her meet up with Scott. Scott fell in love with her then married her and then he found out the truth when the real Jean came back."

"By that time Scott and Madelyne had a baby together but Scott left Madelyne anyway," Quicksilver informed them. "As you can imagine that didn't exactly make her happy so she turned to Sinister who activated her dormant mutant abilities and she turned evil and started calling herself the Goblin Queen."

"It sounds like a bad comic book plot," Scott blinked.

"Then after all **that **he ended up having an affair with Emma Frost…" Avalanche said.

"WHAT?" Jean roared. She glared at Scott.

"WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT? HE DID IT!" Scott shouted. "I mean the other Scott did it. Not me…"

"Do I wanna know about **our **personal lives?" Kurt asked.

"Well let's see," Toad thought. "You and Amanda are pretty solid now. Beast is still having trouble with the ladies."

"Trish Trilby dumped him and now he says he's gone gay," Blob explained.

"WHAT?" Hank's jaw dropped.

"And you don't want to know what a mess Pietro is right now," Blob continued.

"THAT WITCH!" They heard a scream from upstairs. "I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE WAS CHEATING ON ME AGAIN! I WANNA DIE!"

"Oh dear," Blob sighed. "He's finally checked his answering machine."

"So how am I doing?" Wanda asked as she listened to the sobs.

"Not bad actually," Toad told her. "You're dating a former movie star turned Avenger."

"Oh well at least it's not a total loss," Wanda shrugged.

"Oh thanks a lot!" Pietro snapped.

"**Twelve** kids?" Althea looked at all the hopping mutants around them. "Todd we seriously need to have a talk when we get married about birth control!"

"I married a Jean clone and had an affair with Emma Frost?" Scott was equally in shock. "I gotta sit down." He went to the couch and sat.

SPLAT!

"Hey mister you sat on my ice cream sandwich," A black haired boy said.

"Perfect…" Scott groaned. "Just perfect…"

Half an hour, some washed pants and a dimension jump later…

"And once again I'll ask," Hank sighed. "Where are we now?"

"Looks like the Xavier Institute," Scott looked around.

"It is the Xavier Institute," An adult Cyclops in a battle costume that included a mask of some sort over his entire head told them. "Let me guess, inter dimensional travelers that are lost?"

"Yup," Todd nodded.

"Out of all the weird things we've seen nothing is weirder than everyone simply getting the fact that's what we are," Wanda groaned.

"Well that and this Cyclops' headgear," Pietro snickered. "Going for the novelty condom look?"

"I swear if **one** more person makes that remark…" Cyclops groaned. "I knew I shouldn't have let Iceman design our new costumes."

"Okay so what's the deal in this world?" Lance asked. "Are you guys fighting Sentinels, being attacked by giant pandas, or what?"

"Giant Pandas?" Cyclops asked.

"Yeah where did you come up with that one?" Pietro asked.

"Well we've seen unicorns, giant snails, telepathic penguins, monkeys…" Lance counted them off.

"I guess sooner or later pandas would come into it," Hank agreed.

"I don't know what's more frightening," Cyclops blinked. "What you people just said or the fact that I understand it."

"Just be afraid," Wanda told him. "Be very, very afraid."

"I'll give you the short version," Cyclops held up his hands. "The Sentinels were dismantled five years ago and the Mutant Rights Act was passed around that time. Mostly the X-Men teach instead of going off to fight. Except when the Earth is under attack by aliens."

"Scary enough, I got that too," Pietro quipped. "So am I a hit with the ladies in this world, as if I need to ask?"

"I hate to tell you this Young Quicksilver," Cyclops snorted. "No wait that's not true. I'm gonna love telling you this. You and Avalanche here are quite the couple."

"What?" Lance's eye twitched.

"Ex-squeeze me?" Pietro blinked. "Baking Powder?"

"Yes your little tea shop and fashion boutiques are the hit of New York," Cyclops grinned.

"Jean, tell me he's lying," Pietro looked at her. "Please tell me he's lying. I'd say joking but we all know Cyclops wouldn't know a joke if it bit his funny bone. He's lying right? Right?"

Jean shook her head. "Sorry Pietro. Well actually I'm not sorry…but he's telling the truth all the same."

"Excuse me please…" Pietro ran out of the room. They could hear him screaming from far away.

**"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" **

"I feel sick," Lance moaned. "Really…Really sick. Not half as sick as I would feel if I got together with Summers, but sick all the same."

"NOOOOOOOOOO! NO! NO! NO!"

"This is going to take a while," Wanda sighed.

Fifteen minutes later…

"NOOOOOOOOO!"

"He's still screaming," Todd counted on his watch. "But he's a little quieter now."

"Yeah they can only hear him two counties away," Kurt grumbled.

"Okay I'm back now," Pietro sighed as he zoomed in. "I still feel lousy!"

"Probably half as lousy as I felt when Jean left me for Emma Frost," Cyclops groaned. "So kid me, watch your back!"

"Well that's certainly different," Jean blinked.

"So…If Lance and Pietro are together then that means I got together with Peter right?" Kitty said.

"Actually you didn't," Cyclops coughed. "You see our Colossus met someone else."

"Who?" Kitty asked.

"Northstar," Cyclops told her.

"HA!" Lance laughed. "Wait a minute, what am **I **laughing about? I'm stuck with Pietro!"

"What did **everyone** go gay in this universe or something?" Kurt gasped.

"Not everyone," An adult Rogue walked in. She was wearing a black and green X-Man uniform and had long hair. She walked over to Cyclops and gave him a kiss. "Hey sugar. Inter dimensional visitors again?"

"How did you ever guess?" Cyclops groaned.

"You and her are a couple?" Pietro blinked. "How? When?"

"When Jean dumped him for Emma," Rogue told him. "Then I managed to get control of my powers."

"What about Gambit?" Kurt asked.

"What about Gambit!" Rogue snapped. "Had it up to here with that cheating swamp rat!"

"Please tell me you found him in bed with a girl and not a guy," Kurt groaned.

"A girl **and **a guy," Rogue told him. "Betsy and Warren."

"Ewwwww…" Kitty winced. "I am so glad Rogue didn't come here."

"Quite a horny little group of X-Men we have in this dimension," Pietro quipped.

"That's one of the reasons Kitty left and went into politics," Cyclops sighed.

"She thought she could do more good campaigning for mutant rights than fighting," Rogue explained. "She's now the first mutant mayor of Chicago."

"I'm the Mayor of Chicago?" Kitty was surprised. "I like this reality a lot better than the last one!"

"What is **that** supposed to mean?" Lance snapped.

"For crying out loud Lance even **I **can figure that one out!" Todd told him.

"Well I'm not crazy about it!" Lance snapped.

"Not exactly thrilled here either!" Pietro snapped at him. "Any other interesting couples we should know about?"

"Well there's Logan and Jubilee," Rogue counted off. "Ray and Roberto are running the New Hellfire Club together…Ororo ran off with Spider Man a year after his wife got killed by the Green Goblin. Xavier and Moira are at Muir Island doing research. Blob and the Juggernaut are running a ranch somewhere in Texas. Lina and Angelica are doing medical research together at their new clinic in Key West. Rahne and Doug are teaching here and just got married. Roadblock got married to a reformed Monet. Low Light and Cover Girl got married and have kids. Wanda's married to Kurt…"

"Oh gross…" Kurt winced.

"My sentiments **exactly!"** Wanda said.

"Well technically you're not blood related," Rogue explained. "She almost married an android."

"What happened?" Wanda asked.

"Darn thing short circuited at the wedding," Rogue shrugged. "I think Quicksilver had something to do with that."

"Good!" Pietro folded his arms.

"Xi and Arcade are the richest couple in the world and have adopted like fifteen kids or something," Rogue went on. "Bobby married Lorna Dane and became an accountant…"

"What about me?" Todd asked. "Did Al and I get hitched?"

"Yup right on TV," Rogue said. "Biggest wedding the White House ever saw."

"The White House?" Althea asked. "One of us is the President of the United States?"

"No… Not exactly," Rogue told them. "I'd better show you. It's almost time for the President's address."

She turned on the television. "Oh my god…" Althea's jaw dropped. "I don't believe it!"

"Hey there my fellow Americans," President Shipwreck in a suit and tie greeted the people on television. "Good news! We've finally captured Vice President Sneeden and stopped his shooting rampage without any loss of life."

"AHAHAHAHAHAAHAAAAA! BANG! BANG!" They heard Beach Head laughing off camera. "BANG! BANG! BANG!"

"Like I said everything is fine," President Shipwreck said. "Okay the Oval Office still has a few holes in it and the Constitution was blown to bits…Oh yeah and a few senators got some buckshot in the behind. But other than that…"

"Okay we can **not **tell my father about this reality!" Althea told them.

"Tell us something we **don't **know!" Lance groaned.

"Well let's see what else is going on in the State of the Union today," President Shipwreck told them. "The economy went up a little today. Half a point but it's better than nothing. Oh and the unemployment rate just fell to 85 percent!"

"I knew I should have voted for the other guy," Cyclops groaned.

"Who was the **other** guy?" Scott asked. "Creed? Kelly? Apocalypse?"

"Larry the Cable Guy," Cyclops told him. "In my defense I thought he was weak on foreign policy."

"Oh yeah one more thing," President Shipwreck coughed. "We kind of accidentally bombed France today. And Russia. And the Mideast. And China. And New Jersey…"

"Well this President's not weak on foreign policy I'll give you that," Todd blinked.

"Weak is **not **the word I would use to describe Shipwreck," Althea said. "The lone brain cell in his empty head maybe…"

"The thirty fifth thing I have learned so far on this trip," Lance winced. "Never give Shipwreck any **real** power!"

"To be fair this new weapons system General Forge installed is really complicated," President Shipwreck explained. "You see these buttons right here on my desk? I mean you don't even have to touch them and…Uh oh…I think I just sent missiles to Belize again."

"We have found the weapon of mass destruction," Kurt quipped. "It's called Shipwreck!"

"It's time to go now right?" Pietro asked.

"Yes it is. But shouldn't we do something about the impending nuclear war that's going to happen here?" Scott asked.

"To be honest Scott," Althea looked at him. "Any reality that elects Shipwreck as President **deserves** what it gets!"


	16. The Flame of the Phoenix

**The Flame of The Phoenix**

"This reality doesn't seem so bad," Kitty said as she looked around. It seemed rather peaceful at the Xavier Institute. There were several mutants they didn't know happily walking the grounds.

But Jean wasn't convinced. "I'm not so sure, there's something about this reality that's off. But I don't know what it is."

"Off?" Scott asked. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know it's just a feeling…." Jean began.

"Hey they have a pool! Cannonball!" Todd crowed as he charged forward.

SPLASH!

"Of course they have a pool! We have a pool!" Scott snapped. "Toad get out of there!"

"You know I could go for a dip myself," Althea said.

"I am thirsty," Kitty said. "Maybe a nice drink."

"I could go for a nice stretch in the sun," Hank thought.

"Guys we really shouldn't…" Scott began when he was hit on the head with a beach ball. "ALVERS!"

"Oh boy," Jean sighed. Something grabbed her attention and she walked towards it. It was a gold sign on the side of the building. Her heart nearly stopped when she read it.

"The Phoenix Institute?" Jean gasped. "Wait then that means…"

_"Yes Jean, in this reality the Phoenix controls the world,"_ A familiar voice entered her mind.

"No…" Jean turned around and saw herself. The Phoenix was wearing casual jeans, sneakers and a green top. But her eyes were glowing golden and her hair was radiantly red.

"We have a lot to talk about," The Phoenix said. "Follow me."

"But the others…" Jean began.

"They won't even notice you're gone thanks to a little mental suggestion. I wanted a private moment between the two of us," Phoenix said. "Come there's so much I want to show you."

"You look…" Jean was surprised. "Normal…"

"Did you think I walked around in black leather all day?" Phoenix grinned. "Or in one of those Hellfire Club get ups?"

"Well…" Jean blinked. "I guess it's not exactly practical is it?"

"Not really no," Phoenix told her as they walked inside the mansion. "Personally I like being able to wear comfortable clothes as much as possible."

"Easier to control the world?" Jean asked.

"Only a few people know what I do in this reality," Phoenix told her. "The best way to keep control is to let people think they know what they are doing."

"Control? You mean you control their minds?" Jean was appalled.

"They're not zombies, my dear," Phoenix sighed. "Stop thinking of it in such absolute terms. Here this is something I want you to see."

She took Jean's hands. "Open your mind…Don't worry I won't try and mind wipe you or anything like that. I just want you to see what the world is like here."

Instantly billions of images assaulted Jean's mind. "I…I…" Jean's head hurt from the sensory overload.

"Oh I'm sorry," Phoenix calmed down the images. "I'd forgotten you're not fully omnipotent yet. Here, this will be easier for you."

Like a montage Jean saw the world. Polluted rivers and oceans cleaned. New rainforests being grown and replanted. Alternate energy sources being created and used. Mutants and humans working together to rebuild houses, farms, entire communities. Slums were being changed into luxury apartments and their tenants were pleased. Many people who were formerly illiterate could now read and write with ease all over the world. Feuds and wars were settled and there was peace among nations. There were even experimental colonies now on the Moon and Mars.

"It's…it's unbelievable…" Jean was shocked.

"There's more," Phoenix showed her. "With a simple suggestion even the most hardened criminals have been reformed."

She saw images of Sinister in a doctor's uniform working with sick children. Destro overseeing a new space colony. The Kingpin becoming a true philanthropist instead of pretending to be one as his cover. Magneto was peacefully working with mutants and humans rebuilding a dam with Trask. Even the Dreadnoks were cheerfully working helping rebuild a rainforest.

"I have fulfilled Xavier's dream," Phoenix responded to Jean's awe. "I have given this dying world new life and hope."

"Yes it is beautiful," Jean said. "But at what cost?"

"Does there have to be a cost?"

"There always is."

"Very well," Phoenix sighed. "Follow me."

They made their way to the back yard of the Institute. There was a brilliant garden behind it. And several gravestones. "The Professor…" Jean looked at them. "What happened?"

"He was unable to imprison me inside your body when we first bonded," Phoenix said truthfully.

"Wait that's the difference between this world and mine," Jean said. "When the Hellfire Club…"

"Yes…"

"You killed them didn't you?" Realization hit Jean like a dead weight.

"Yes," The Phoenix said. "But then I brought them back to life." She pointed to Ororo and Rogue flying in the distance.

"Not all of them," Jean pointed to the gravesite outside. "What about Xavier? Why didn't you bring him back? Because he was a threat to you. He could have imprisoned you inside me!"

"Some sacrifices had to be made," Phoenix sighed. "For the greater good. Pretty ironic if you think about it. All those times Xavier hid things from me, from us…He believed he was sacrificing some of his principles for the greater good. The truth is he had no idea what sacrifice truly was."

"And what sacrifice was needed for Althea and Toad?" Jean pointed out their graves. "Why did they have to die? They were no threat to you!"

"They are and you know it," Phoenix said. "Deep down instinctively you do."

"NO! YOU'RE WRONG!" Jean snapped. "You killed everyone who could oppose you and you destroyed everyone else's free will!"

"Free will? Free will to do **what?"** Phoenix asked. "Hurt people? To maim and kill and create wars? What kind free will is that? I didn't enslave them; I simply gave them different choices. To either work on diseases or world hunger. To build better houses or be teachers. To pass laws that will actually help people instead of making them prisoners or worse! That's the kind of world I made!"

"But it's not a real world!" Jean shouted. "It's only an illusion you created! A world is made up of the thoughts and minds of many people! Not just one!"

"Look around you Jean," Phoenix showed her several images again. "Not too many people are complaining. And those that are, only because I let them. Even the Phoenix knows the value of chaos. No one too dangerous mind you. A bumbling bank robber here. An idiot Mafia gang that can't even shoot straight there. A stupid heiress who just can't keep her private life private. Just enough to give the police and the heroes have something to do and make the newspapers more interesting."

"And Scott…" She looked at another grave. "How could you kill the man you love?"

"It was painful, but a necessity…" Phoenix sighed. "The Phoenix must rule alone. That is our destiny."

"NOT MINE!" Jean snapped. "I'd rather die than lose Scott and my friends, especially to someone like you!"

"Darling," Phoenix laughed. "I **am** you."

"No," Jean trembled. "I'll never be like you!"

The Phoenix laughed. "It's too late Jean. You're already changing into me. It's just a matter of time."

BOOM!

BOOM!

ZAP!

"What in the…?" Phoenix snapped as she saw the Institute on fire.

"Uh Jean, we kind of made a mess," Daria said as she and her sisters landed next to her. "We were just playing with the defense systems and they went a little haywire!"

"YOU?" Phoenix roared. "I'D FORGOTTEN WHAT LITTLE PESTS YOU WERE…"

"STAY BACK!" Jean flared up. "Girls! Get out of here now! I mean it!"

"We're gone," Quinn said as they used the IM NUTS II device to teleport away.

"What's the matter Phoenix?" Jean mocked. "Can't handle a little chaos?"

"I suggest you and your friends leave this world," Phoenix growled. **"Now…"**

"Gladly!" Jean snapped.

"And I'll help you on your way," Phoenix snapped using her powers. "By giving you a little taste of what your future holds if you continue to deny your destiny!"

Jean felt the world spinning around her. The next thing she knew she was on the ground somewhere. "Okay how did we end up **here?**" She heard Todd say.

"Who was fiddling around with the machine?" Pietro snapped. "And why does everything look so damn depressing?"

All around them were ruined houses, the charred black remnants of trees and a dark gray sky. "I mean gray, gray, gray! It's so **depressing!"** Pietro threw up his hands.

"Well we are in a graveyard," Kurt pointed. There were several broken headstones of various X-Men, Misfits and other mutants around them.

"Okay this is officially creepy," Kitty shuddered.

"Oh," Pietro looked around. He saw one grave marked Magneto. "Well never let it be said I never wasted an opportunity." He started to dance on it. "DA! DA! DA! DA! DA! DA! DA! DA!"

"Pietro," Wanda gave him a look. "Move over!" She shoved him aside and started to dance. Everyone looked at her. "What? I'm just fulfilling a fantasy here? Do you have any idea how this dream helped me get through some of those nights in the asylum?"

"Where's Mystique's grave?" Todd piped up.

"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!" Kurt snapped.

"Aw come on," Todd said. "When are you ever going to have a chance like this again?"

"If it was Rogue she'd take it," Kitty said.

"Well that's pretty much a given," Lance said. "Oh here's Summer's grave…"

"Don't," Scott warned. "Don't…"

"DA! DA! DA! DA! DA! DA! DA!" Lance sang the Mexican Hat Dance song and danced on it. "DA! DA! DA! DA! DA! DA! DA! DA! DA! DA!"

"Okay that does it!" Scott snapped. "Where's your grave? I'm gonna do the **Tango** on it!"

"Here's Mystique," Todd pointed. "De da de dah da!"

"Let me join you," Althea shrugged and joined him.

"OH YEAH?" Kurt roared. "THIS IS YOUR GRAVE TOAD! I'M DANCING ON YOU! AND I'M LOVING IT!" He proceeded to dance on the grave.

"So? I'll just dance on yours!" Todd hopped over and did so. "And back to Mystique again!"

"Most people would freak out when seeing their own graves," Kitty groaned. "What do we do? We **dance** on them! We are so **not** normal!"

"DA! DA! DA!" Lance continued dancing on the grave.

"Okay where are you?" Scott looked around in the graveyard. "When I'm through they're gonna need…"

"MUTANT LIFE SIGNS IDENIFIED! TARGET FOR EXTERMINATION!"

"Oh crap," Todd stopped and looked upwards. Seven very large Sentinels loomed over them.

"Here we go…" Scott growled as he sent an optic blast at one that sliced its head off.

"I thought we weren't supposed to go into Sentinel worlds?" Pietro grumbled as he ran rapidly around and around another creating a mini tornado that toppled it.

"Well that flew out the door when we went to the world with the nice Duncan," Wanda told him as she zapped another Sentinel.

"Logically we should have figured this out when we saw the graveyard with our names on it!" Hank grumbled as he dodged the laser blasts from the Sentinels.

"As if logic ever stopped us before," Lance told him as he created a huge rumble that knocked over several Sentinels.

"Let's just like get out of here!" Kitty leapt through the leg of another Sentinel, shorting it out. The Sentinel fell and collided with another Sentinel.

"I AM SICK OF SENITNELS!" Jean flew into the air and used her powers. Suddenly around her a flame in the shape of a Phoenix appeared. She called upon the power to destroy the remaining Sentinels.

"Jean…Whoa…" Kitty blinked as she landed.

"Are, are you okay?" Scott asked.

"I'm fine," Jean told him. "I'm not even tired. But we'd better get out of here. I have a feeling more Sentinels will be showing up pretty soon."

"Good news is it seems for some reason we only have ten minutes to go then we can get out of here," Hank told them as he examined the machine.

"Can't be soon enough," Kitty shuddered as she looked at the severed Sentinel head.

"Jean what happened?" Scott asked. "How did we end up here in the first place?"

"Let's just say I got us kicked out of that last dimension," Jean told him. "And I'd do it again!"

"I don't want to know do I?" Scott asked.

"No," Jean gave him a hug and a kiss on impulse. "Trust me on this!"

**Next: Things really heat up for the gang! Wait until you see what happens next! **


	17. Manga Madness

**And now a little fic based on the Manga version of the X-Men…**

**Manga Madness**

"Well this is an odd little world," Hank blinked as he and the others watched the chaos on the hill.

"It's no odder than the other ones where we fight the Brotherhood," Scott pointed.

ZOOM!

WHOOSH!

BOOOM!

"It is if we're piloting giant robots…" Jean blinked.

Above them were several multicolored giant robots that strangely resembled several X-Men and Brotherhood characters fighting a huge battle and tearing the city apart. "And I thought we caused a lot of damage when we fight," Pietro quipped.

BOOM!

"There goes Bayville High again," Kurt remarked.

BOOM!

"And the east wing of the Institute," Lance said.

BOOM!

"And City Hall," Kitty said.

BOOOM! KABLAM!

"You know if they fill in that big crater where the school's football field was they could use it as a swimming pool," Todd said.

BOOM!

"Okay the thirty minutes are up," Hank looked at the device. "Boy time really flies when everything around you is blowing up into little bits."

"And that's gonna be us if we don't move it!" Kurt pointed at a huge stray missile coming their way.

"AHHHHH!" The gang screamed. Hank made the portal open up in time and they jumped through just before the missile hit.

"We're safe!" Kitty shouted as they flew to their next destination.

WHOOOOSH!

"Okay maybe not…" Kitty gulped when she saw where they had landed.

"Now where are we?" Pietro groaned. He opened his eyes and saw lasers pointing at him. "OH COME ON! NOT THE DANGER ROOM **AGAIN!"**

"What is this? A running gag?" Jean snapped as she took on the lasers.

Suddenly the Danger Room turned off on it's own. "Okay that's a good thing," Hank sighed. "Maybe we won't have to trash this one."

"We'd prefer that you answer our questions first," A woman's voice said.

They turned around and saw several X-Men. What struck them was that they had Japanese features and Japanese style costumes. "Wow, looks like we ended up in an anime universe," Pietro blinked.

"Hold on guys!" A Jean with long red hair in a ponytail spoke up. She was wearing a green tank top bra, skin tight green pants with a thick brown belt, green boots, independent sleeves that ran from her elbow to her wrist that were green with a gold stripe and a gold link arm band. "I feel a connection to one of them. You…You have the same power I do don't you?"

"The Phoenix Force? Yes I do," Jean told her. "I'm Jean Grey."

"That's my name!" Manga Jean gasped.

"Yeah well that's because she's you," Scott groaned. "An alternate you. We're from another dimension. It's a long story."

"I imagine it must be," A wizened figure walked in. He was mostly bald with gray hair on the sides and three blue lines tattooed on his forehead. He wore a long sea green robe with dark brown Japanese style pants. His feet were bare and webbed like his hands. A few of his teeth were visible as well as his long pink tongue.

"Master Toad," A Cyclops in an odd red armored costume with a headgear that truly made him look like the actual one eyed creature he was named for spoke. "Are they what they claim to be? Different versions of us?"

"Yes I believe they are," Master Toad nodded.

"Master Toad?" Scott asked. "**Toad **is your leader?"

"Well…" Manga Jean said. "Yeah…"

"Coooool," Todd's eyes widened.

"Proof God Hates Me Number 462," Scott groaned.

"This is **our** Toad," Wanda pointed to Todd. "Need I say more?"

"Oh my," Manga Storm blinked. She was wearing halter shorts, a blue short top, a long flowing blue cape, blue footwear with her toes sticking out of them and a gold headband with a red sun marked on it.

"There do seem to be some differences," Manga Wolverine snorted. He was wearing a white and black Japanese outfit with X's on them. His left hand was cybernetic, completely metal. "For example your counterpart is a lot younger little brother." He clapped his hand on Manga Cyclops' back.

"Brothers?" Jean blinked. "You and that Cyclops are **brothers?"**

"Proof God Hates Me Number **463,**" Scott remarked.

"I think we should have this conversation in a more appropriate place than the Danger Room, don't you think?" Master Toad asked.

"Sounds good to me," Pietro agreed. They went outside. "Whoa this whole place looks like we're in the sewers."

"That's because we **are** in the sewers," Master Toad explained.

"We had to kind of move around a bit," Manga Jean. "You know with the Sentinels and the Hellfire Club goons trashing our home and our reputations. I mean I know it's a bit dank but really once you get past the smell…" She stopped. "I know, I know I'm talking too much. Sorry I tend to ramble a little bit."

"This Jean's quite the little chatterbox isn't she?" Lance snickered.

"Come inside and have some tea," Master Toad opened one door. "We can…Oh my."

Inside was Trinity trying on several Japanese outfits. "Uh hi sis!" Daria was fooling around with a computer. "Neat place huh?"

"You three little maniacs are so dead when we get home…" Althea growled.

"Siblings who live to make trouble for you," Manga Cyclops snorted. "I can relate."

"If you are referring to the incident in the bar in the Shinma district that was five years ago," Manga Wolverine waved. "And the police didn't press any charges…"

"Oh my aching head…" Scott groaned.

A few minutes later while the gang was sipping their tea. "So the X-Men were set up along with all mutants and now the army is hunting them?" Jean asked.

"Yes. In this world I fear many mutants have been forced underground," Master Toad explained. "Not just in Japan but all over the world. But we are fighting back and soon we will confront our most feared enemy. Xavier."

"Xavier?" Jean was surprised.

Manga Wolverine turned on the monitor. It showed a picture of Xavier with Japanese features standing with two familiar young women. "Xavier leads the Hellfire Club. He wishes to control all mutant kind and human kind along with his family. By making important contacts in the police department he has been aggressively recruiting mutants for his cause by any means necessary."

"That's why we are hiding down here," Manga Storm explained. "Long story short he and Emma used their powers to start a mutant witch hunt."

"We spend more time rescuing mutants than clearing our names," Manga Cyclops grumbled.

"Wait in this reality Xavier is a bad guy and his kids are Emma Frost and Tessa?" Pietro held up his hands. "What about Magneto?"

"He is our spy in Xavier's inner sanctum," Master Toad explained. "And Emma is dead."

"Well then I guess this world's not all bad," Lance smirked.

"Yeah well she made a hell of a lot of damage before she went," Manga Wolverine growled. "It's because of her we're stuck down in the sewers hiding like rats."

"You've never complained about my accommodations before," Master Toad raised an eyebrow.

"I meant no disrespect Master," Manga Wolverine apologized. "But I'm tired of hiding from Xavier."

"Wait isn't your Xavier a telepath too?" Pietro asked. "Couldn't he just use his telepathy to…"

"I have outfitted these sewers with anti-telepathy scramblers," Master Toad held up his hand. "Unless he has a mental link with one of us, which I seriously doubt, he cannot find us."

"Master Toad can you teach me some ninja moves?" Todd asked, his eyes wide with excitement. "Please? Pretty please? I wanna be a real cool ninja like you!"

"Oh man here we go again," Lance rolled his eyes. "He's going on his little ninja kick again!"

"I believe I can show you a thing or two, young self," Master Toad said with a twinkle in his eye. "I must confess, I find the idea quite intriguing."

"I want to get in on this too," Althea thought. "Trinity you should pay attention."

"You're right," Daria nodded. "Ninja Master Toad is probably very wise."

"Wiser than our Toad," Quinn said. "And a better ninja too."

"Not much of a stretch but…" Brittany began. Althea gave her a murderous look. "Kidding! Kidding!"

"Why don't we start by focusing our Chi?" Master Toad got in a meditative position.

"The what?" Pietro asked.

"Life force," Master Toad explained. "Mutant Chi is special, it forms and gives us our powers."

"Funny I always thought a little something called an X-Gene did that," Hank said wryly.

"Do not be so quick to dismiss the power of your Chi," Master Toad told him. "An X-Gene is nothing more than a gateway for your powers to connect with the universe. It is how you focus your chi that will help you unlock it."

"Does this make any sense to anyone?" Pietro blinked.

"It makes perfect sense to me," Todd said as he got in a meditative position.

"I rest my case," Pietro rolled his eyes.

"Hey maybe we should all try this," Kurt thought aloud.

"A lesson from Toad?" Scott asked.

"I know it's a stretch for you but think of this as an opportunity," Hank chuckled. "Who knows? We might learn something about our own powers as well. And we do have some time before we are able for the next jump."

"Speaking of which I think we're running low on Grape Juice again," Jean noticed the gauge on the IM NUTS machine.

"Grape Juice?" Manga Wolverine asked. "That do hickey runs on **grape juice?"**

"I told you grape juice was one of the best drinks in the universe," Manga Storm grinned triumphantly.

"Not this argument again…"Manga Wolverine rolled his eyes.

"Come on I'll show you where we keep it," Manga Jean said to her. The two Jeans left the room.

"Thanks," Jean said as she carried the device.

"No, thank you. You don't know what this means to me," Manga Jean told her. "I mean I have so many questions about the Phoenix Force."

"I hate to say this but I know as little about this as you do," Jean told her. "All I know is that in my world it came from outer space and it was used in ancient times. An evil mutant named Apocalypse feared it because it was more powerful than he was, and he was pretty powerful."

"Wow that's some story," Manga Jean blinked. "I mean Master Toad did tell me that this power connected to my chi was not of this world. Not to mention the fact that I wasn't completely in control of it. And if I didn't release it every now and then it could be dangerous."

"Dangerous if you don't release it? How could…?" Jean began when they entered a room that looked like a kitchen.

The next thing she knew something hit her from behind and her world spun to black.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"They're coming to…"

"Oh…" Jean woke up to find her hand bound behind her back. She was also wearing a mutant control collar along with Manga Jean. "My head…What the?"

They were in a strange large Japanese home. Surrounding them were statues as well as adult versions of Nightcrawler and Beast. Manga Beast was wearing a tan T-shirt and cargo pants. Manga Nightcrawler had gold tattoos on his chest and he was wearing tan cargo pants.

"What's going on?" Jean asked.

"We've been kidnapped and brought to Xavier's," Manga Jean grunted. "By these double crossing traitors!"

"I'm really getting sick of being knocked out and kidnapped for someone's evil plans," Jean grumbled as she tried to sit up. "No wonder Rogue's always so cranky."

"Beast! Nightcrawler! What's the meaning of this?" Manga Jean yelled. "I thought you were our friends!"

"Forgive us," Manga Nightcrawler told them. "But Xavier has my little sister Mari. He's been forcing us to spy on the X-Men for weeks now. If we didn't do what he asks…"

"Beast-san you sound as if I am a monster," Xavier walked in with a teenage Tessa in a short black dress and a young Japanese police chief with short black hair.

"What else would you call a man who hunts down his own kind and forces them to do his bidding?" Manga Nightcrawler snarled.

"I would hardly call you 'our kind' you mistake of nature," The young police chief snorted.

"Now, now Chief Yoshida," Manga Xavier held up his hand. "Even a lesser evolved mutant is more tolerable than humans." He turned to Tessa. "Your mother excluded of course."

"Of course," Tessa nodded.

"We had a deal Xavier," Manga Nightcrawler said. "I wish to see my sister!"

"Very well," Xavier nodded. With a wave one of the walls of the room revolved revealing a young girl restrained against it.

"Brother! Papa!" A twelve year old Japanese Rogue in a green outfit with multi streaked white and brown hair strained against her bonds.

"Let my daughter go fiend!" Manga Beast snarled.

"Okay this is definitely a new one," Jean blinked.

"Actually there's been a change of plans," Tessa grinned. "It seems her power is potentially great as well. She is a valuable mutant. Unlike you…" She gave them a telepathic blast that sent both males to their knees. "Completely expendable."

"PAPA!" Manga Rogue screamed. "Leave them alone you witch!"

"Dishonorable dogs," Manga Beast snarled unable to move. "I should have known you'd betray us."

"Yeah go figure on that," Manga Jean rolled her eyes.

"This is an interesting device," Yoshida looked at the IM NUTS device in his hands. "So with this we can travel to other realities?"

"Apparently as presented by the evidence here," Tessa pointed to both Jeans. "Imagine**, two** possessors of the Phoenix Force!"

"Yes with this device and the power of the Phoenix the Hellfire Club will be invincible," Xavier grinned.

"We'll never work for you!" Manga Jean snapped.

"Who said you had a choice?" Yoshida asked. "I think Xavier and Tessa will change your minds shortly. Oh and don't bother holding out for a rescue from Magneto. We were able to discover his deception last night and he's currently under lock and key. So there's absolutely no way…"

BOOOOOOOOOM!

"For the X-Men to find you…?" Yoshida blinked as both teams of X-Men and the Misfits entered the room through a huge hole they made.

"Here we come to save the day!" Trinity called out.

"All right!" Manga Jean cheered. She glared at her captors. "Now your butts are totally going to get kicked!"

"Master I…We…" Manga Beast pleaded.

"No need for apologies," Master Toad shook his head. "It is clear you had no choice in the matter." He glared at the scene before him.

"So I take it from your arrival that Magneto-san has escaped his prison and told you everything?" Manga Xavier sounded bored.

"That and Trinity being able to track the IM NUTS device with their own IM NUTS DEVICE," Althea told him.

"I always knew you had no honor Xavier," Manga Wolverine unsheathed his claws, the ones from his metal hand were made of pure energy. "But to use a child to manipulate others…This is beyond low even for you!"

"But you had no problems murdering **my** child did you not Wolverine?" Xavier's eyes darkened. He concentrated and created a psychic sword of his own.

"Your daughter gave us no choice," Manga Wolverine growled. "She was the one who started this whole mess in the first place! Just because her pride was wounded she started a chain reaction of events that led to the Sentinel attacks and mutant persecution!"

"True I admit my daughter's attempts to persuade Jean Grey to join the Hellfire Club were clumsy and brash at best," Xavier said holding his psychic sword. "But they did provide me with an opportunity to ally myself with Yoshida and gain access to an unlimited amount of mutant recruits."

With a snap of his fingers several female ninjas appeared. "Including the Shadowcat Clan," Xavier made a wide grin.

"Xavier is mine," Manga Wolverine snapped. "The rest of you take care of the others!"

"Oh please," Tessa grinned. "I could handle you in my sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!" She screamed as Trinity hit her with a psychic lightning attack.

Manga Nightcrawler and Manga Beast took advantage of the opportunity and released the Jeans from their shackles. "You get Mari," Jean said. "We'll take care of Tessa!"

"Actually Trinity is doing rather well against her," Manga Beast blinked as Trinity chased Tessa around with their psychic lightning.

"They're a lot more powerful than they look," Jean grinned. "Gotta admit, sometimes those little maniacs come in handy."

Meanwhile the X-Men and Misfits were having problems taking on the Shadowcat Ninja and Yoshida. "Burn mutants!" Yoshida laughed as he created a huge fireball that forced them to scatter.

"This guy's a mutant too?" Todd yelled as he leapt out of the way. "It figures!"

"Aggh!" Scott had tried to hit one ninja only to pass right through her. He fell flat on his face. "I can't get a hit!"

"None of us can get a hit!" Althea barely dodged the another ninja's attack.

"Nothing can touch us when we are in ghost form!" One ninja laughed. Someone tapped her on the shoulder. "What? Someone touched…?"

POW!

"Funny I don't seem to have a problem," Kitty grinned over the body of the unconscious ninja.

"How?" One ninja yelled as she tried to attack Kitty.

"I'm a Shadowcat too! Sort of," Kitty dodged the attack and landed a kick of her own. "And I've been pretty well trained when it comes to fighting ninjas thanks to Wolverine's Danger Room sessions and hanging around with the Misfits!"

"I will…." Another ninja tried to attack when she forgot to phase and was tapped from behind. Her power drained away.

"You want to fight?" Manga Rogue absorbed the skills and powers of the Shadowcat ninja. "Let's fight!" She dodged into the fray.

"Burn in…" Yoshida began when he noticed it was starting to get very cold. Manga Storm created a mini blizzard which knocked him and the Shadowcat Ninjas backwards.

"Even your powers cannot stand up to my wrath," Manga Storm snarled.

"Maybe not but these can," Yoshida pushed a button on his watch and suddenly the room trembled. Two strange looking robots burst into the room.

"Sentinels!" Manga Jean shouted.

"Oh goody, first Shadowcat ninjas now Sentinels," Pietro groaned. "This trip just gets better and better!"

"Allow me," Master Toad grinned. He simply hopped over to the two Sentinels and dodged their lasers. He managed to hop on top of one Sentinel and slammed his fist on it in several places, dodging the robotic claws. Then he hopped on the other one and repeated the process. Then he hopped off and clapped his hands. Instantly the Sentinels fell to pieces.

"Okay I have got to learn **that **trick," Todd blinked.

"You are going to lose this battle Logan," Xavier snarled as he fought with Manga Wolverine. "Even your mental shields will fall before my incredible power!"

"AAHHHHH!" Manga Wolverine yelled in agony. Xavier grinned at his power.

But not for long. "Let's even the odds shall we?" Jean felt the Phoenix fire burn within her.

"Let's," Manga Jean agreed. "You wanted double the power of the Phoenix, Xavier?"

"Didn't you ever hear the phrase 'Careful what you wish for'?" Both Jeans said in unison as they allowed their powers to take over.

"AAAHHHH!" Xavier screamed as he was knocked backwards into a wall by a psychic assault. Tessa was also slammed into a wall as well.

"I gotta admit it," Jean powered down and grinned. "That felt good."

"You have lost Xavier," Manga Wolverine recovered and pointed his energy claws at Yoshida. "And you as well Yoshida. This battle is ours!"

"For all the good that it will do you," Yoshida snarled. "No one will believe you. You are still outlaws! Wanted criminals while we are respected members of society. We still have the public and the military on our side."

"Unless of course your entire battle here was televised," Quinn held up a small camera.

"And someone managed to hack into the TV station satellites around Japan," Brittany grinned. "And everywhere else!"

"So the whole wide world knows exactly what you are and who started this whole mess!" Daria said. Sirens were heard in the distance. "That would be the police coming to arrest you."

"Yeah I don't think a lot of those cops were exactly thrilled when they found out their Chief of Police was not only a mutant but a crook!" Brittany agreed.

"And that flushing sound you hear Xavier is your status going down the toilet as well," Quinn nodded.

"Enjoy the Japanese version of Sing Sing!" They squealed excitedly before they turned on their device and teleported away into another dimension.

"NOOO!" Yoshida yelled as he realized what had happened. "I'm ruined!"

"**You're** ruined?" Xavier whirled on them. "You despicable low base freaks!" He managed to get to his feet. "I have not lost yet!" He ran towards Manga Wolverine and leapt at him with his psychic sword drawn. "HIYAAAAAAA!"

"ARRRRRAAAAHHHH!" Manga Wolverine managed to step back enough and let his energy claws fly, cutting off both of Xavier's legs.

"AAAAHHHHH!" Xavier fell to the ground in agony.

"And that's how Xavier lost his legs in this world," Althea quipped.

"On top of a huge battle we also get a replay of the end of 'Revenge of the Sith'," Pietro grinned. "This is a great trip!"

"Dude that's still not right," Kurt winced at the sight. "I'm not exactly comfortable with body parts flying all over the place!"

"You had no problem during that Friday the 13th marathon a few weeks ago," Wanda gave him a look.

"Yeah but that's…" Kurt began when he noticed Yoshida powering up. "Uh oh!"

"I will make you pay for what you have done!" Yoshida sent a blast at the dimensional travel device near him on the floor.

"NO!" Hank yelled but it was too late. The IM NUTS device broke into pieces and then exploded. "This is not good people!"

"Okay we're officially screwed now," Pietro groaned. "How are we gonna get home?"

"We could always wait for my sisters to show up again," Althea sighed. "But who knows how long that's going to take?"

Just then another blinding light appeared. To their shock they saw the Exiles standing before them. "Hello there X-Men, Misfits," Mimic folded his arms. "Jumping around other dimensions isn't as easy as you thought is it?"


	18. Nuttiness In The Nexus

**Nuttiness In the Nexus**

"Not so easy is it?" Mimic mocked as they all entered another dimension. "Going from one dimension to another, trying not to cause chaos?"

"Or in your case, **not **trying," Nocturne remarked.

"You don't have to rub it in," Scott grumbled.

"Oh yes we do," Sunfire grinned. "Especially after the hard time you gave us!"

"How did you know where we were?" Hank asked.

"It was easy to find you guys," Morph snickered. "All we had to do was follow the destruction. Well that and your sisters sold you out."

"When I find them I'm going to kill them," Althea said. She looked around at all the strange doors and crystal walls. "Wherever here is."

"It's the last place I'd thought I'd find you people," A familiar black man with an M tattoo over one eye and body armor walked up to them.

"Bishop?" Jean blinked. "What are you doing here?"

"Never mind that, where is here?" Lance looked around.

"This is the Nexus, center of all time, space and dimensions…" Bishop sighed. "And I've been stuck here ever since I left your dimension."

"OH BOY! NEW FRIENDS!" A strange little man with wild brown hair and a beard in green overalls and big brown boots appeared in a poof of smoke. "I love meeting new people!"

"Who is that?" Todd asked.

"Well aren't you going to introduce me to your pals, Bishy? Come on! Introduce me!" The strange little man jumped onto Bishop's back.

"This is Bender," Bishop growled through his teeth. "A TOTAL NUT JOB!" He tried to hit him but Bender teleported away. "ONE OF THESE DAYS I AM GOING TO GET YOU SUCKER!"

"Okay and why is this Bender guy here?" Todd scratched his head. "And why is he named after a Futurama character?"

"Let's just say he's like the janitor of the Nexus and leave it at that," The Timebroker appeared.

"The what?" Kurt asked.

"Where you're standing right now," Bender told him as he reappeared. "Or sitting or chilling…Or _you can do the Hokey Pokey and turn it all around…"_

"It's a very long story," The Timebroker sighed. "Actually the Nexus is part of the center of all reality called the Panotichron. It was hijacked for a brief time by some one posing as me from another center of reality."

"Don't ask for the whole story," Blink sighed. "It's really complicated, and I mean **really** complicated."

"Okay we won't…" Scott blinked. "So simple version, we're all in the center of reality."

"**All** realties everywhere," Bender corrected. "Here there and everywhere!" He threw some confetti and danced around. "It's a party! Yay! I love parties! Of course I never had a party before being the only one here usually. And after a bazillion centuries it does get a little dull now and then."

"Bender's job to put it simply is to look after the center of the Nexus," Timebroker explained. "A rather solitary position since he is normally the only one allowed to work here."

"And you don't visit him that often am I right?" Pietro looked at Timebroker.

"Can you blame me?" Timebroker groaned.

"So I get a little stir crazy!" Bender threw up his hands. "I usually have no one to talk to except for Mr. and Mrs. Wall. Hello Mr. and Mrs. Wall!" He waved to no one. "You're both looking so lovely and flat today!"

"So you can imagine what I've been through ever since I landed here through a crack in reality," Bishop's eye twitched. "I've been stuck with a Jim Carrey clone on crack. That's been over a year in your world! Do you have any idea what that's like?"

"Ever since then it's been Ol' Brown eyes and me," Bender pinched Bishop's cheek. _"Me and my shadow…" _

"Somebody do me a favor," Bishop had a pained look on his face. "Shoot me. Please for the love of God somebody **shoot me!"**

"Couldn't you just take him out of the Nexus?" Jean asked Timebroker.

"I would have if I had known he was in there in the first place," Timebroker confessed. "I just recently discovered his existence there."

"I told you that you should really schedule those performance reviews annually," Bender said in a sing song voice. "I wrote it down in the suggestion box. Well actually I would have if there was a suggestion box. I should make a suggestion box! That's a fun project for a rainy day! Not that it ever rains around here…"

"Shoot me," Bishop begged. "Please shoot me! Kill me! Anything to put me out of my misery!"

"Can't you just send him back to his future reality?" Scott asked.

"No point, his future reality is gone," Timebroker sighed. "It's completely messed up."

"It's not messed up. **I'm** messed up!" Bender huffed. "Pay attention will ya?"

"You have no idea what it's like to be tormented day and night by a raving lunatic!" Bishop shouted.

"How about being tormented by a raving lunatic imaginary coyote?" Lance asked. "Is that close enough?"

"Wait how did that crack in reality appear in the first place?" Hank thought aloud.

"That's kind of what I wanted to speak to you about," Timebroker sighed. "Magnus if you don't mind…?"

"All right I need all of you to go into that room there," Magnus pointed to a door. "Wait with the others."

"Others?" Hank asked. "What others?"

"These others," Magnus opened the door.

"Oh my…" Hank blinked as they entered.

"Oh no…" Pietro gulped. "My worst nightmare!"

Inside the room were dozens of people. Most of them appeared to be variations of Wanda. "Just what we need," A female Whippet in a red outfit folded her paws. "More humans."

"Hey! Not all of us are humans!" A tall red watch with a human face snapped.

"Who are you?" Kitty asked.

"I'm the Scarlet Watch," The watch told her.

"This is just getting weirder and weirder…" Wanda groaned.

A tall man with black hair and a red uniform looked at them. "Did you get kidnapped from your reality too?"

"Actually we were already lost," Wanda explained. "Who are you?"

"I'm the Scarlet Warlock," He explained. "And it appears you're another Scarlet Witch. Wait a moment, is your group the idiots responsible for outing the X-Women and having the Sentinels attack their home?"

"That would be us, yes," Todd nodded.

"I recognize them!" A Scarlet Witch in a dancer's costume yelled. "They're the ones who burned down my circus!"

"Hey!" Another teenage Scarlet Witch spoke out. "My brother told me that somehow he and the X-Men got outed at school as mutants! That some other mutants posing as them framed them by using their powers all over the place! That was **you?"**

"You're not in a mental institution?" Lance blinked.

"No, I live with my father," That Scarlet Witch growled. "And now thanks to you now I live with those idiots from the Brotherhood too!"

"That's nothing!" Another Scarlet Witch said, "These nuts and a hero named Kid Razor trashed all of Cleveland with Polka music!"

"Oh yeah?" AGU Wanda spoke up. "They got me and my friends expelled from school and we ended up with several lawsuits!"

"I was supposed to go on a cruise with Cobra Cruises!" Another Scarlet Witch snapped. "These idiots sank the ship! And I still can't get a refund on my money!"

"They're the ones with these little maniacs!" Another Scarlet Witch snapped. Her outfit was covered in whipped cream. "LOOK WHAT THEY DID TO ME!"

"Hi sis!" Daria waved. Quinn and Brittany were there too trying to look innocent despite the whipped cream cans in their hands.

"This is getting to be a little awkward," Kurt gulped.

"Not to mention dangerous," Pietro gulped at all the angry stares.

"Will somebody tell me what the hell is going on here?" An adult Scarlet Witch dressed in a low cut black and red uniform yelled. "And what this convention is all about?"

"I'm afraid this is all my doing," The Timebroker sighed as he addressed the group. "For those of you who do not know who I am, I am the Timebroker, well actually one of several Timebrokers. I am responsible for this side of the line of realities."

"This side?" The Scarlet Warlock asked.

"Yes there are literally millions of realties and each group of dimensions are clustered together in different sections," The Timebroker explained. "You know like the United States of America has different states?"

"You guys are all from New Jersey," Magnus called out. "Comparatively."

"Well **that** explains a lot," Scott groaned.

"It does?" Todd scratched his head.

"The Nexus is the control center of all these realties. Think of it as the Washington DC of the universe. Normally our job requires as much non interference as much as possible," Timebroker sighed. "But a crisis has occurred which is forcing us to take drastic action."

"In other words one of the counties in the state of Florida is screwing up the whole country and changing everything!" Morph called out.

"Okay **that** I understand," Todd nodded.

"Yeah especially since we've been doing a little screwing up ourselves," Kitty admitted with a groan.

"A **little** screwing up?" The Scarlet Warlock glared at them. "You people are a menace!"

"Trust me," Magnus glared at them. "As bad as those lunatics are, the mayhem those guys create doesn't even come **close** to Dimension 616!"

"Six One Six?" Scott asked.

"Observe," Timebroker pointed to the air and several monitors appeared. "Witness the chaos that has unfolded…"

Several images appeared on the images. "It's a very long and complicated tale of the Scarlet Witch of Universe 616 but I'll keep it brief," Timebroker explained. "Simply put the Scarlet Witch of that universe married an android named the Vision and created fake children using her powers. Alas it was not meant to be. The false children disappeared and her marriage to the Vision was dissolved. That and several other personal problems led her to a huge mental breakdown where her powers went out of control. So out of control they created an alternate reality within her reality. A world where mutants were the majority and humans the minority."

"That's a bad thing?" One Scarlet Witch asked. "I mean nearly everyone in my reality is a mutant."

"Yes but your reality is natural, not made up of another person's whims," Timebroker told her. "Well actually it is if you look at it one way…But I'm getting off track here. Long story short…"

"Too late," Pietro quipped.

"That Scarlet Witch caused another chaotic switch which depowered nearly all mutants in that reality," Timebroker explained.

"You mean nearly all the mutants lost their powers?" Scarlet Warlock asked.

"Yes and that's how the chaos **really** started!" Magnus groaned.

"What do you mean?" Hank asked.

"You see there's a little more to mutant powers than an X-Gene," Magnus said.

"There are?" Pietro asked.

"Mutant powers and mystical energy are connected to the life force of an entire universe," Timebroker explained. "Without a proper anchor that energy can escape and cause chaos."

"You see according to the rules," Bender popped out with a huge pink book with the letters DA RULES on them. "If a mutant or mystic is killed those powers can be reabsorbed into the cosmos of that particular universe. But if a mutant or mystic's powers are mystically severed before they die…Well it can get a little messy."

"And that's just with one or two mutants," Mimic told them. "Imagine that happening to millions, **at the same time!"**

"ZZZZ! BLAM! SIZZLE!" Bender shouted. "KABOOM! In other words it's not a good thing!"

"As in the principle that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction," Hank thought. "That energy released had to go somewhere."

"Correct, and energy like that released that fast that quickly…" Daria spoke up.

"It could be very powerful," Quinn whistled.

"Powerful enough to break the barriers of other dimensions?" Brittany thought.

"Bingo!" Bender threw up his hands. "Give the little lady a prize!"

"That is why more mutants are appearing in your worlds," Timebroker explained. "The energy from Dimension 616 is out of control. To put it simply, the more depowered mutants that die in that world, the more energy cannot be returned. So it wanders…"

"Until it affects another world," The Scarlet Warlock continued.

"Precisely," Timebroker nodded.

"Oh my God," Jean put her hand to her mouth at the sight of Sentinels surrounding the Xavier Institute. "This is awful!"

"Observe well," Timebroker called out to the crowd. "Should your reality altering powers get out of control; **this** could be your fate and the fate of all mutants."

The crowd reacted in horror to the images. De-powered mutants were being hunted and killed by riots. Remaining mutants were being hunted. The Xavier Institute had become little more than a prison with overcrowding and Sentinels watching their every move. The back yard of the Institute had become a graveyard with dozens of graves of students littering the field. Legislation was being passed on all super powered individuals, mutant and otherwise. Metahuman and mutant detention facilites were being set up so that anyone with powers was being imprisoned.

"We can't allow this nightmare to **ever** happen in our worlds," The Scarlet Warlock spoke out.

"And that's the reason we're all here for this little chat," Mimic told them. "To make sure it doesn't!"

"Because if it does," Magnus said. "Then it could start a real chain reaction that could cause several universes to explode."

"KABOOOM!" Bender cried out and slammed a pair of cymbals together.

"So please all the Scarlet Witches and Warlocks assembled here," Timebroker called out. "Pay attention to the following…**Don't **use your powers to create alternate dimensions where mutants are in charge. **Don't** ever say **no more mutants** when using your powers. Don't ever create fake children for yourself. And…What was the last one?"

"Don't marry an android?" Wanda volunteered.

"You've heard this before?" Timebroker blinked.

"I have yeah," Wanda nodded.

"I think we've got the message," The Scarlet Whippet groaned.

"Now that we have had this little discussion it's time to return you all to your respective dimensions," Bender waved. "Good bye! Buh-bye! Y'all come back now, ya hear?"

"Wait one more question," AGU Scarlet Witch called out. She pointed to the X-Men and Misfits. "Can we kill them first?"

"No," Timebroker sighed. "Sorry for the inconvenience."

"Not half as sorry as **they're** going to be if we ever find these idiots in our home dimensions again!" Another Scarlet Witch snapped.

"Okay time to get you all out of here before we call in the Riot Squad!" Bender mocked. With a snap of his fingers all the other Scarlet Witches and Warlocks disappeared, leaving only the Exiles, X-Men, Misfits, Bishop and the Timebroker.

"He sent them home? Just like that?" Kurt gasped.

"Yeah," Bender said proudly rubbing his fist on his lapel. "Comes in real handy for taking care of those pesky dust bunnies!"

"I guess it's our turn to go back home now huh?" Lance asked.

"Well there is one other little thing…" Timebroker coughed. "We have a slight…problem."

"We need your help," Morph said. "And since you lot are responsible for a lot of chaos going on you are not in a position to say no!"

"With what?" Hank asked.

"Do you remember when the X-Men sent Apocalypse away from your world using the Eye of Ages?" Mimic asked. "You know the big metal thing Rogue shut him up in?"

"Yeah…" Scott nodded.

"Guess where he ended up?" Mimic groaned as he pointed to the monitor. To their horror they saw Apocalypse stalking in a strange room filled with levers and doors.

"Oh no…" Kurt gasped.

"Oh yeah," Morph sighed.

"How did he get out?" Jean asked.

"One of the other Apocalypses let him out," Magnus told her.

"Sorry I didn't hear that right," Hank held up his hand. "Did you say, other Apocalypses?"

"Yes," Magnus told him. "**Other** Apocalypses. Thirteen in all."

"I'm sorry I didn't hear that correctly," Hank shook his head. "I could have sworn you said thirteen Apocalypses."

"I did," Magnus said.

"Thirteen?" Scott gasped. "You actually said **thirteen?"**

"Yes thirteen," Timebroker sighed. "And they all want to take control of the Nexus. So if you all don't mind stopping them we'd be very grateful."

"Stop them?" Scott blinked. "You want **us** to stop **thirteen **Apocalypses?"

"Yes," Timebroker nodded.

"Thirteen?" Kitty's jaw dropped. "We had like the hardest time with **one!** And you want us to take on **thirteen** of them?"

"Yes," Timebroker nodded. "You can help the Exiles deal with them."

"And I wanna help too!" Bender said cheerfully. "Yippie! I'm a big boy now!"

"Oh dear," Hank gulped. "We're in trouble."


	19. Apocalypse Wow

**Apocalypse Wow**

"You seriously expect us to take out **thirteen Apocalypses** by ourselves?" Scott yelled at the Timebroker. "You're crazy!"

"Actually I'm the one that's crazy," Bender pointed out.

"You'll be working with the Exiles," Timebroker said. "They have had experience in fighting Apocalypse too. And don't forget Bishop and Bender."

"You're **still **crazy," Scott told him.

"No **I'm** crazy!" Bender mocked. "Try to keep up will you?"

"But **thirteen** of them?" Kitty asked. "How are we gonna do that?"

"Well for starters it's not really thirteen," Morph shrugged. "See the Apocalypse from Universe F-O-X 25 is pretty lame. All he does is scream a lot. And the one from Universe 45-SI7 is a complete idiot. So it's more like you have to take out eleven of them."

"Oh yeah that makes a **big** difference!" Wanda threw up her hands.

"And you won't exactly be alone," Timebroker punched in something on his keypads. "I've called in some backup."

Appearing before them was a tall man in battle armor with white hair. His right arm and hand appeared to be made of some kind of metal. His right eye glowed brightly. He also carried a huge gun. "Okay he's got a really big gun, that's a good thing," Todd remarked.

"This is Cable. He's from another alternate timeline in your future," Timebroker explained. "He's been able to go back and forth from the Nexus from time to time to assist us in other matters. Don't ask what. Those are even longer stories."

"How come he can go back home but **I** can't?" Bishop yelled. "And don't tell me it's complicated!"

"It's complicated," Timebroker groaned.

"I told you not to tell me that!" Bishop snapped.

"Hey Lance," Todd whispered while Bishop was ranting and the Timebroker was trying to explain. "Remember way back on the first Asteroid M? When Magneto tricked Summers and his brother into mutating? Is it just me or does this guy look a lot like…?"

"Yeah I see it too Toad," Lance said. "Gotta be a coincidence."

"Look as much as I'd love to continue to watch Bishop's mental breakdown here," Scott finally interrupted. "But I don't see how one guy is going to help us fight off all those Apocalypses!"

"I've fought Apocalypse in our future many times before," Cable told them. "Trust me, I know what I'm doing."

"Good are there forty or fifty **more** of you?" Todd asked.

"Let's just say I'm counting on someone else showing up later," Cable remarked.

"Oh **that** makes me feel **much** better," Pietro said sarcastically.

"Wait a minute why did you just send all those other Scarlet Witches home?" Lance asked. "We could have used their help!"

"You're not that bright are you?" Bender gave him a look and rapped Lance on the skull. "**HELLO!** WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THE CENTER OF ALL REALITES HERE! THE CENTER OF ALL POSSIBILITES AND PROBABILITES THAT HAVE EXISTED OR EVER COULD EXIST!"

"Do you really think sending dozens of mutants with reality altering powers into the Nexus is a **good **thing?" Cable folded his arms. "One is more than enough!"

"You have a point," Lance rubbed his head.

"YES! HE CAN BE TAUGHT!" Bender raised his hands.

"I think what we should do first is come up with a plan to distract them," Scott thought aloud.

"Actually they're already pretty distracted," Timebroker winced as the ground shook. "**That's** the heart of the problem."

"What do you mean?" Jean asked.

"Think about it Red," Magnus gave her a look. "You have 13 very powerful megalomaniacs that all think **exactly** alike. They are all in the same place in an area that is responsible for the fabric of reality. This can literally make someone a god. However the problem is only **one** person can operate and control the center of the Nexus. Do you see where I'm going with this?"

BOOM!

KA-BOOM!

RRRUUMMMMBLE! BOOM! THUD! BAM!

"They're all fighting for control aren't they?" Scott guessed what was happening.

"Bingo," Blink sighed. "Give the man a Kewpie Doll."

"I'd settle for some alcohol right now," Scott groaned.

"You don't drink," Jean looked at him.

"No, but I've been thinking of starting," Scott told her.

"I don't suppose you could just let them kill each other and then we could just take out the last guy standing huh?" Todd asked.

"Can't because of two minor problems," The Timebroker explained. "Most of these Apocalypses have the ability to siphon off mutant energy and powers. The more they drain each other, the more powerful some of them will get."

"Until there's just one really big and really powerful Apocalypse," Althea guessed. "Who would be impossible to take down!"

"Exactly," Timebroker nodded.

"What's the other reason?" Lance asked.

BOOOM!

RUMBLE!

CRACK!

Pieces of matter and crystal fell from the ceiling. "If don't stop them soon they're going to literally tear the fabric of reality apart!" Mimic groaned. "There will be nothing left to put together!"

"How did they all manage to get in there in the first place?" Cable asked.

"You can thank Reality 616 for that!" Mimic told him. "Again when the mutant's powers were wiped out for the second time and the energy released escaped into the entire multiverse it created cracks in the center of reality. And guess who fell through the cracks?"

"Wait, second time?" Wanda asked. "Did you say **second **time?"

"Yes and believe me it was stupid enough the **first** time!" Magnus groaned.

"But **thirteen **of them?" Cable grumbled. "I know it's supposed to be an unlucky number but come on…"

"Which one's ours?" Kurt asked as he looked at the monitors covering the battle in the Nexus. "They all look alike. Well except that one in clown makeup."

"And the female one," Lance pointed out.

"I AM SUPREME! I AM MIGHTY!" One Apocalypse shouted. "ALL SHALL BOW TO MY WILL! YOU SHALL ALL BE CRUSHED LIKE ANTS AGAINST…AAGGGHHHH!"

"Boy that one really is lame," Kurt admitted as another Apocalypse cleaned the ranting Apocalypse's clock. "That's the FOX one right?"

"Bingo," Morph nodded.

"Well that explains why that other Apocalypse is kicking his butt so easily," Althea remarked as another Apocalypse attacked the FOX one.

"The one doing the butt kicking is **your** Apocalypse," Timebroker told them.

"Figures…" Lance groaned.

"AAAAAHHHHHH!" The FOX Apocalypse screamed as his strength was absorbed bytheir Apocalypse and then turned to dust.

"Looks like one less Apocalypse to worry about," Todd blinked.

"Yeah now all we have to worry about is taking down twelve…" Kitty began.

RRRRUMMBLE!

"PERISH!"

"AAAAHHHHHH!"

"Eleven of them," Kitty finished.

"Told you," Morph said. "I was sure the one in the clown outfit would lose in that fight!"

"I still think it's impossible to destroy eleven Apocalypses at once," Hank shook his head.

"That's why we're not going to destroy them," Cable told him. "We're going to have to force them back into the cracks of reality they fell through."

"Okay and how do we do that?" Pietro blinked.

"Even though the Nexus is the heart of operations here I can do something from this room," Timebroker explained. He focused and a strange looking computer appeared right out of the wall. "I can redirect some of the excess energy to widen and open a portal in one reality at a time. Once we get an Apocalypse through to the correct portal I can shut down the portal and use the temporal flux to heal the special anomalies by synchronizing the bio rhythms…"

He stopped and looked at the confused mutants. "I can open a portal and once you shove an Apocalypse through to his correct dimension I can close the rift."

"How are we going to know which is which?" Lance asked. "What if we shove the wrong Apocalypse in the wrong portal?"

"In the first place since each Apocalypse created the rift combined with it's own unique energy signature that's impossible. Only the right Apocalypse will be able to go through and no one else. Besides, I'll know which Apocalypse goes where by watching your progress on the monitors," Timebroker showed them.

"What about the ones that were turned to dust?" Althea asked.

"I can always use some other temporal energy to take care of those holes," Timebroker worked on the computer. "I'm doing it right now."

"So basically all we have to do is make the Apocalypses fall down into the right holes?" Kurt asked. "That doesn't sound so hard."

RUMMBLE! THUD! SMASH! THUNDER! CRACK!

"You were saying?" Cable gave him a look.

"Timebroker we have got to talk about our medical benefits once this is all over," Sunfire groaned.

RUMMMBLE! CRASH! BANG!

"I suggest you hurry," Timebroker grumbled as another crystal fell from the ceiling.

"Time to lock and load people," Cable readied his weapon. "We focus on one Apocalypse at a time! Just attack that one head on and when it's down we move to the next! MOVE OUT!"

"Uh can we discuss this for a moment?" Kurt gulped. Suddenly he found himself with the rest of the team in the Nexus. "Apparently not."

"BLAST TARGET NUMBER ONE!" Cable blasted the nearest Apocalypse. He stumbled backwards for a moment. Scott, Wanda, Jean and Lance used their powers on a combined push to make him fall back even further. Suddenly a green glowing hole appeared and the Apocalypse fell through.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" The Apocalypse screamed as the portal closed after him.

"Well that one wasn't so tough," Pietro said.

"Don't get cocky," Cable snapped as he dodged an energy blast. "Now that they realize we're here the others won't go down so easily!"

"What are those insects doing here?" The Female Apocalypse snarled as the team took on another Apocalypse.

"Who cares?" The Clown Apocalypse chortled as they sent another surprised Apocalypse staggering into another portal. "They're taking care of the competition!"

"That is their **plan** you fool!" Another Apocalypse snarled. "ATTACK!"

"Here they come!" Lance shouted as he sent out a huge seismic wave at them.

RRUMMMBLE! One Apocalypse was caught in the cross fire and knocked to his knees. Not to mention a lot of the crystalline walls started to get cracks in them.

"Avalanche the plan is to stop the Apocalypses from tearing the Nexus apart!" Cable snapped. "Not do the job for them!"

"Hey batta, batta, batta…" Bender appeared with a huge baseball bat. "Hey batta, batta, batta…" One Apocalypse ran towards him. "SWING BATTA!"

With a surprising amount of strength Bender knocked that Apocalypse backwards and he fell right into another portal. "The little weirdo is stronger than he looks," Bishop grumbled as he blasted his weapon.

"Three down, eight to go!" Bender yelled. "Or wait is it really five down, eight to go? Does it count if an Apocalypse takes out another Apocalypse? If an Apocalypse falls in the woods and no one hears him does he really make sound? And how much applesauce could an Apocalypse eat if an Apocalypse could eat applesauce?"

"JUST SHUT UP AND FIGHT!" Bishop yelled.

The battle was fierce and unrelenting. So fierce and terrifying it was beyond the writing skill of any fan fiction writer. Slowly but surely Apocalypse after Apocalypse fell into their respective portals. But the team had casualties of their own.

"Wavedancer, Shadowcat and Nightcrawler are out cold!" Morph dragged Nightcrawler behind a broken series of strange crystals for safety. "And Blink's down for the count!"

Nocturne was injured as well and watching over the others. "That energy blast the clown sent out was really powerful."

"HEY!" Bender snapped. "It wasn't my fault! I was nowhere near…"

"Not you!" Bishop snapped. "The **other **clown! The Clown Apocalypse!"

"Oh that clown!" Bender remembered.

Just then Todd collided with Bender from behind. "Ooh! Look at the pretty birdies…" Bender said in a funny voice. "Let's count them! One! One little birdie! Two…Two little…Oh forget it I'm going to pass out now." Which he did.

"Toad!" Pietro yelled. He ran and grabbed both Todd and Bender and managed to get them to the area where the other injured parties were. "This is not good! We're falling pretty fast! Even I'm starting to get tired!"

Hank and Sunfire were knocked down next. "This is so not good people!" Bishop shouted as he blasted away. But his weapons had little or no effect on the remaining mutant warlords.

"Where's Trinity when you need them?" Pietro yelled.

"YEAAAAAAAA!" Trinity flew by zapping one Apocalypse backwards into a portal.

"Oh there they are…" Pietro blinked.

BOOM!

To everyone's shock Trinity was blasted backwards. They were knocked unconscious. "Okay now I am starting to get worried," Pietro gulped.

"Just keep firing!" Scott shouted. "Keep…" He was blasted into a crystal wall by an Apocalypse.

"Scott!" Jean shouted. "NO!"

"Out cold!" Pietro shouted as he looked him over.

"AAAAAAAAAAIIIIEEAAAAA!" Jean screamed, a huge Phoenix image surrounding her. She created a telekinetic blast so powerful it knocked two of the Apocalypses backwards and one fell into a portal.

Then she turned on the other Apocalypse, the one who knocked out Scott. "You're going to pay you monster!" She snarled. Telekinetically she backhanded him into a wall several times before the portal opened up to return him to his home world.

"Whoa! She just wiped out two of them without even trying!" Lance's jaw dropped.

"Yeah," Cable noticed something. He fiddled with his weapon. "Which means it's time for me to do this!" He aimed his weapon and fired. It hit its target.

Jean jolted in shock as she plummeted to the ground. Cable ran up and managed to catch her just in time. "Don't worry she's just stunned," He explained.

"SHE'S STUNNED?" Pietro yelled.

"What did you do **that** for?" Lance shouted. "Whose side are you on?"

"The side that doesn't want all reality to blast into oblivion!" Cable snapped. "Take a look at your friend over there!"

To their shock the unconscious Todd began to shift and convulse and start to grow. "Uh oh…" Pietro gulped. "Tell me we're not going to get a little visit from Toad's not that much better half!"

"We are," Cable said.

"I told you not to tell me!" Pietro shouted as Tetsukaeru emerged before their eyes. "But why? I mean with his power combined with the Phoenix's…"

"NO!" Cable shouted. "That's a very bad idea!"

"Bad?" Pietro blinked.

**"Bad,"** Cable grunted as he watched an enraged Tetsukaeru take on the remaining Apocalypses. "I'm talking putting nitroglycerin together with even more nitroglycerin and a nuclear reactor bad."

"The Power of the Phoenix and the Spirit Power from the Destiny Stone are both polar opposites," Magnus explained. "At least that's how Timebroker explained it to us."

"But how is that possible?" Lance asked.

"Less talking more fighting!" Cable snarled as he blasted his laser at the nearest Apocalypse. "There's three left and we're gonna need all the power we can get to take 'em down!"

"And it looks like Ol' TK has got enough to spare," Lance pointed as Tetsukaeru blasted another Apocalypse into another portal with a great telekinetic power.

Only the female Apocalypse and the one from their world were left. "How could these insignificant insects get the better of us?" The Female one snarled.

"There is only one option left," Apocalypse snarled. "Take my hand! We must combine our powers to drive them off!"

"Agreed!" She took his hand and they focused. Soon a strange purple energy was emitting from them.

"TAKE COVER!" Cable yelled. Most of them did. Except for Tetsukaeru who was caught in the massive energy blast. He was flung savagely backwards. The ground rumbled beneath the energy and more of the Nexus crumbled around them.

"This is not good people," Cable said.

"NO KIDDING?" Bishop snapped. "It can't get much worse than this!"

"Hey! I'm back!" Bender popped up behind him.

"I had to say that…" Bishop groaned.

"Whoa! A whole lot of shaking going on! Did I miss anything?" Bender asked.

"No you're just about to see the end of the universe as we know it," Pietro told him.

"Great! I didn't miss the good part!" Bender said excitedly. He saw Tetsukaeru struggling to get up from the massive energy blast. "Hey Dragon Boy! Let me give you a hand!"

"Scarlet Witch! Use your powers now! Hit them with everything you've got!" Cable yelled.

Wanda did so blasting the shield with her powers. Combined with Bender and Tetsukaeru's abilities it broke with a huge rumble. It sent Tetsukaeru and the Apocalypses flying backwards. The female Apocalypse fell through a portal.

"Last one standing," Cable grunted as he managed to get to his feet. "And it's the one I want!"

"So close…" Apocalypse snarled as he struggled to get to his feet. "I was so close to complete immortality and perfection…"

"You know what they say," Cable fired on him. "Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades!"

Apocalypse was worn out from the attack but still managed to create a small shield after the first blast. "I will not be defeated by nameless rabble such as you…"

"Well then let me fix that," Cable shouted as he hit another setting on his weapon. "The name's Cable! Remember it! Because I'm the one who's going to kick your blue ass all over time and space for as long as you remember!"

Suddenly Apocalypse lifted into the air, but not of his own accord. He winced in pain. "So a telekinetic **and** a telepath…," Apocalypse hissed. "And a formidable one at that. I'll remember this, mutant."

"GOOD!" Cable used his powers to toss Apocalypse into the final portal. The mutants that were awake cheered.

"We did it!" Lance staggered. "Barely." He saw Tetsukaeru revert back to Todd. "And Toad's back! Yippee…"

"We did it! We did it!" Bender danced around Bishop. "Give me a hug big guy!" He jumped up and hugged Bishop.

"Now if we could only put **you** through a hole!" Bishop glared at Bender.

"Good job," Timebroker appeared. "And even with the Phoenix and Tetsukaeru in the same place we averted a disaster of epic proportions."

"Okay could you explain the whole thing with Tetsukaeru and the Phoenix together not being a good thing?" Pietro asked. "I'm confused!"

"And for once it's not just him," Wanda agreed. "What's going on?"

The Timebroker sighed. "I'm only telling you this so you'll understand. To put it simply as I can both the Phoenix Force and the Spirit Power emerged from the creation of the time and space. However while the Phoenix Force draws its power from the stars, the power within Toad resides within the heart of every planet ever created. Both are equally infinite and yet limited to a particular universe. In your world that power resided inside what you call the Destiny Stone."

"Yeah until Toad got his mitts on it somehow and it sucked into his body," Pietro said. "That we get. Okay they're opposites. Jean's Miss Perfect and Toad is a perfect disaster. That's pretty obvious."

"It is?" Lance asked.

"He just said the Phoenix Force and this thing inside Toad are opposites! And you can't find two more **opposite** mutants than those two," Wanda groaned. "So naturally because they're opposites they wouldn't get along."

"Correct," Timebroker nodded. "The Phoenix is the embodiment of Destruction and Creation, while the Spirit is the embodiment of Chaos and Order."

"Wait a minute," Lance held up his hand. "Chaos, order? Destruction, creation? Aren't those the same things?"

"Not necessarily," Timebroker said. "It's very complicated."

"Everything is complicated around here," Bishop grumbled.

Timebroker ignored him. "Basically the Phoenix lives to devour and create worlds while Tetsukaeru's prime objective is to protect it's host world and family…"

"While destroying everything else in it's path," Pietro finished.

"Well…Yes," Timebroker coughed.

"Wait you said destroy worlds," Wanda thought. "Are you telling me Jean…? Why the hell aren't you telling the X-Men this? I think this is something that they should know about!"

"Some of them already do," Timebroker explained. "In their own way."

"Don't get me wrong," Pietro said. "As much as I'd **love **to be in on a secret that the X-Geeks don't know about, something tells me this one's a little too big for us!"

"Yeah at least let Mr. McCoy or Al in on this!" Lance said.

"Althea has her own part to play in this," Timebroker told them. "It's just not time yet."

"Oh no…" Realization hit Wanda. "She's somehow tied into this Spirit thing too isn't she?"

"Uh huh," Timebroker nodded. "She is the variable that may give you the chance you need once the battle begins."

"Why not tell her…?" Pietro asked.

"She must discover the power within herself," Timebroker said. "And without aid or knowledge. It is the only way."

"Oh boy…"Wanda winced. "I'm starting to get a **big** headache!"

"But what about the X-Men?" Lance asked. "Shouldn't they kind of be warned about this?"

"It's too soon," Timebroker sighed. "Trust me, it's safer this way if only the three of you and your caretakers know about this. For now. I've seen this story play out a million different variations a billion times. And it always ends in a showdown between the two forces. But sometimes the destruction caused can be diminished if not averted and the dark future can be altered."

"In English," Lance folded his arms.

"Keep your mouths shut around those two and the X-Men," Cable grunted. "That clear enough for you?"

"Just trust me on this one," Timebroker sighed. "Please?"

"All right," Lance sighed. "We'll do it. But we gotta tell Roadblock and the other adults back at the Pit at least."

"Understood," Timebroker nodded. "It's time to wake the others now. Then I can send you all back to your own proper dimension."

"And that way you won't wreck any more," Magnus snorted.

"Bender if you don't mind…" Timebroker sighed.

"Of course, arise! Arise!" Bender squealed as he brought out a wand and waved it over the unconscious mutants. Nothing happened. He shook it. "I SAID ARISE ALREADY! Come on! I just changed its batteries five centuries ago!"

He shook it but nothing happened. "Okay let's try this," Bender thought. He bonked Scott on the head. "WAKE UP!"

"OW!" Scott shouted as he sat up.

"So that's how it works!" Bender grinned. "Okay! Here we go!" He happily began to bonk the others.

"Oh what hit me?" Jean moaned as she revived along with the others.

"He did," Bishop pointed to Bender.

"Oh sure blame the guy with the wand singing the Bonking Song!" Bender snapped. _"This is the way we bonk the people on the head! On the head! On the head! This is the way we bonk people on the head early in the morning!" _

"OW! OW! OW!" Scott shouted. "STOP HITTING ME ALREADY!"

"Is it over?" Kurt looked at the mayhem around him. "I mean is it really over?"

"Yes and with all the surviving Apocalypses returned back to their proper realties things can finally quiet down here," Timebroker nodded.

"Now the real work can begin," Bender said cheerfully as he made some carpenter's tools appear. "I can redecorate! Oh I've always wanted a sun roof there!"

"Wait did he just say what I think he said?" Kurt blinked. "About Apocalypse?"

"Yup," Scott groaned.

"When you say proper realties that means…?" Kitty asked.

"That your Apocalypse has just returned to your Earth and is probably free by now," Timebroker said.

"Oh…Goody…" Hank winced.

"The others back home are not going to be happy…" Scott sighed.

"I'm not exactly thrilled about this myself," Lance moaned.

"Rogue said this was trip a bad idea," Jean moaned. "Why didn't we listen to her?"

**For those of you wondering there was a character named Bender in the Fox cartoon of the 90's! I liked him. Then again I like all the weird ones. Next the trip ends in more ways than one! **


	20. End of the Line

**Here it is! The final chapter! You'll have to enjoy this while I take time off to plot and plan my next fic.**

Althea walked out and looked at the author. "Plot and plan? Who are **you **kidding?"

**Quiet you.**

"Everybody knows all you're going to do is just write the first thing that comes into your tiny brain," Althea continued. "Not that there's much room in there. Too bad you can't store ideas in your hips huh?"

**HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SPEND MORE 'QUALITY TIME' WITH YOUR FATHER AND SISTERS HUH? I CAN ARRANGE IT! YOU GOT SOMETHING TO SAY TO THAT SMART MOUTH? HUH?**

"Okay shutting up now," Althea gulped and ran off.

**Okay now that that's settled. Here it is folks, what you've all been waiting for…**

**End of The Line**

"Wolverine I told you it was an **accident!"** Forge pleaded. "Now please put the claws away!"

"I will when you get your butt back **down here!"** Logan roared. Forge had somehow managed to climb onto the roof of the Institute.

"NO WAY!" Forge yelled.

"Forge you can't stay up there forever," Logan shouted.

"I CAN TRY!"

"I can always send Storm or Wings up there to get ya you know?" Logan growled.

"Leave us out of this," Warren told him. "I've got ten bucks saying that he can stay up there until midnight." By now a small crowd of the Institute's remaining residents as well as the remaining Misfits were gathered around watching the sight.

"Nah five will get you ten he'll fall before that," Tabitha said.

"I could always get him," Rogue volunteered. "But to be honest right now it's more fun watching him squirm."

"One thing about this," Ray remarked. "He can't get out of climbing the rope in Danger Room practice again."

"Yeah the last time I saw anything climb that fast was a squirrel was running from our pack of hound dogs back home," Sam admitted.

"COME DOWN HERE NOW!" Logan shouted. "OR I'M COMING UP AFTER YA!"

"NO! YOU'LL KILL ME!" Forge pleaded.

"Aw come on Forge," Dead Girl called out. "Being dead isn't that bad. Trust me on this!"

"You are **not** helping, Dead Girl!" Ororo groaned. "No one is going to kill you Forge."

"Wanna bet?" Tabitha quipped.

"Tabitha!" Ororo snapped. "Forge you know we won't let Logan kill you."

"That's because he promised the rest of us a shot," Fred nodded.

"Yeah!" Arcade called out.

"I could probably get him from down here," Shane aimed with his fingers. "Just one good shot…."

"Shooter!" Ororo snapped.

"I ain't gonna kill him!" Shooter defended. "Just let me blast his kneecaps a little."

"Do it," Logan ordered.

"NO!" Ororo pushed Shane's hands down before he could do anything.

"She's right Shooter," Shipwreck said. "What were you thinking? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get bloodstains off a roof?"

"He's right," Logan grumbled. "It's not easy."

"I don't even want to **know** how you two know that," Ororo groaned.

"Well knowing is..." Fred began.

"BLOB!" Ororo snapped.

"Maybe he'll just jump and go splat on the lawn," Jamie said.

"That is not going to happen," Ororo told him.

"I dunno," Logan said. "Sounds like that would be the solution of **all **our problems!"

"LOGAN!" Ororo turned on him.

"It would make life a lot easier around here," Sam agreed. "Think about it, no more crazy inventions..."

"Fewer explosions," Angelica added.

"It would certainly cut down on the medical bills around here," Lina remarked.

"That's another good reason," Fred agreed. "More bandages for the rest of us."

"Gambit claims dibs on his room," Remy said.

"It's nice to know people care about me!" Forge yelled.

"Well it's kind of hard when you keep zapping our friends into other dimensions!" Rogue snapped. "It's not like this isn't the first time you've done it either!"

"It'll be the **last **I'm telling you that!" Fred made a fist and smacked it into his palm.

"Maybe I **should** jump?" Forge gulped.

"Jump! Jump!" Xi called out.

"XI!" Ororo snapped.

"I wanna see him go splat," Xi answered truthfully.

"I gotta admit so do I," Logan said.

"Don't **encourage **him!" Ororo snapped.

"Okay, **I'll** encourage him," Fred said. "JUMP! JUMP!"

"BLOB!" Ororo shouted. She put her hand on her head and closed her eyes as if she was getting a migraine that would make her brain explode. "Of all the afternoons for the Professor to go visit his lawyers..."

"Jump! Jump! Jump!" More students chanted.

_"Might as well Jump! Jump!"_ Shipwreck sang out.

"And why did Roadblock volunteer to drive him?" Ororo rolled her eyes.

Just then she heard the beeping of a car horn. "Thank the Goddess!" She breathed a sigh of relief as she saw Roadblock driving up with the Professor in the limo.

"What in the world is going on **now?"** Roadblock asked as he parked the limo. "And why is Forge on the roof?"

"I am afraid we are about to find out," Xavier told him.

"JUMP! JUMP! JUMP!" Several students were chanting.

"Will you **knock** it off?" Ororo shouted at them. "YOU TOO LOGAN!"

"Dare I ask what happened **this** time?" Xavier sighed as he made his way to Ororo and the others.

"Forge made some kind of dimension traveling device and sent Beast, Scott, Jean, Kitty, the Elf and some of the Misfits to who knows where!" Logan told him.

"Needless to say some of us are not exactly happy with the situation," Rogue folded her arms.

"That's why Forge is on the roof," Tabitha explained.

"It never fails," Xavier sighed. "I go away for **any **amount of time and something happens!"

"PROFESSOR HELP! WOLVERINE'S GOING TO KILL ME!" Forge shouted.

"No one is going to kill you Forge," Xavier called out to him.

"He could always jump and fall to his death," Xi said casually.

"That is not going to happen Xi!" Xavier snapped. "Warren if you don't mind could you…?"

"Oh all right I'll get him," Warren shed his coat revealing his wings and flew up to retrieve Forge.

"Now," Xavier sighed. "Shouldn't you all be focusing your energies on finding the others instead of tormenting Forge? Or placing **bets?"**

"How did you know about that?" Roberto asked. He was holding money in his hand. "Oh right…"

"Trinity had made a copy of the do hickey and took off after them," Shipwreck told him.

"And you just let them do that?" Xavier was shocked.

"Well it's not like we could have just taken off after the kids," Shipwreck grunted. "I mean it is another dimension we're talking about."

"Under the circumstances tormenting Forge was about the only thing we **could **do," Rina explained.

"I see," Xavier sighed. "No wonder he's up on the roof."

At that moment he was still on the roof, holding onto a spire with all his might as Warren tried to pull him off. "NO! NO! NO! I WON'T GO DOWN!" Forge screamed as he struggled to stay where he was. "THEY'LL KILL ME!"

"Forge will you calm down?" Warren snapped as he tried to pull him down. "No one will kill you! They'll probably just make you do some Danger Room workouts…"

"Like I said! They'll kill me!" Forge screamed.

Just then there was a flash of light. All the missing mutants appeared amidst the other X-Men and Misfits. "Are we home?" Kurt moaned. "Are we really home?"

"Well let's see," Todd looked around. "Everybody seems to be here, there are no Sentinels, zombies, telepathic penguins, giant snails or unicorns and Forge is freaking out on the roof. Yeah we're home."

"You're back!" Rogue breathed a sigh of relief as the other mutants gathered around to welcome their team mates back.

"Telepathic **penguins?"** Tabitha blinked.

"Giant **snails?"** Rahne asked.

"Unicorns?" Paige asked.

"Don't ask," Kurt moaned. "Please, **don't **ask!"

"I take it your trip was an interesting one," Xavier raised an eyebrow.

"Interesting is **not** the word for what we went through," Pietro groaned. "Total disaster maybe. Complete nightmare is another one…"

"Those are two words Pietro," Lance said. "Actually I have more than a few words to say to Forge whenever he comes down."

"If he ever comes down," Xi remarked as Forge was still hanging on for dear life.

"I know you said not to ask but what happened?" Rina asked.

"Uh well," Scott gulped. "We had a few little incidents…"

"Do I want to know?" Xavier sighed.

"No, but you'd better," Scott told him. "I think you'd better call General Hawk to listen in on this."

"And get a stiff drink while you're at it," Hank told him. "Trust me Charles you are going to need it. We…have a little situation."

"A situation?" Logan asked. "What kind of situation?"

"A situation where you end up saving all realties and universes but you kind of end up letting a bad guy loose in the process," Todd told him. "Which I would like to point out was totally **not **our fault and it was the only thing that could have been done to save everybody in the first place so really…"

"**Which** bad guy?" Logan interrupted him. All the travelers looked at each other, reluctant to answer him. "Come on, who?"

"Uh…" Scott gulped. "Apocalypse."

"Apocalypse?" Logan's jaw dropped. "He's **back?"**

"You let **Apocalypse** loose in this world?" Xavier asked. "He's **free?"**

"Technically we let loose 11 Apocalypses into 11 worlds," Hank coughed. "Originally there were thirteen of them, but…"

"Never mind!" Logan held up his hand. "Save it for the briefing! First let's call General Hawk…And Nick Fury…and get that drink."

"Better make it a double," Hank told him as they went inside the mansion. "Fury's not going to be happy about this!"

"When is he ever happy about **anything** we tell him?" Logan asked as most of the others followed him in.

"No wonder Bishop didn't want to come back with us," Althea agreed.

"Yeah you know when a guy would rather be stuck in a dimensional hole with a lunatic than come home with us it's not a good thing," Todd remarked.

Lance and Kitty remained behind. They looked at each other. "We need to talk," Lance said.

"Yeah we really do," Kitty sighed. "This trip kind of showed us a few things."

"A lot of things."

"Saw some sides of you I never saw before."

"Yeah well the same goes for you," Lance gave a bitter laugh.

"What do you mean?" Kitty asked.

"What do you mean 'What do **I **mean'?" Lance asked harshly. "I am sick of being the only one trying in this relationship!"

"**You're** trying?" Kitty snapped back. "Well that's news to me! What do you think I've been doing? I try to understand you! I really do! I've been patient waiting for you to change but you hardly…"

"Me? What about **you?**" Lance asked. "You know I'm not the only one with flaws you know?"

"Lance you gotta admit you have a pretty dangerous temper!"

"**Me?** Refresh my memory Kitty but which one of us got in not one, but **two **fights with **herself?**"

"Yeah, but when I lose my temper I don't destroy entire **buildings!"**

"That's the nature of my powers Kitty! I can't help that! Well not sometimes! But you gotta admit you do your fair share of damage too! And that's what really annoys me about you! I mean you pick on me for any and every little thing but when it comes to **your **problems…"

"My problems? It's **your **problems that usually cause all the trouble!"

"And what problems do you mean?"

"You're reckless, you're immature…"

"**I'm** immature?" Lance threw up his hands. "Look who's talking! You're a spoiled princess who complains when things don't go her way!"

"That was really hurtful Lance," Kitty fumed, tears welling in her eyes.

"Like you never hurt me? I gotta know something. Why do you love me Kitty?" Lance asked.

"What do you mean why?"

"Just what I said. **Why?** Why do you love me?"

"Why do you need to know…?"

"I need to know the reasons," Lance told her. "Humor me." She just looked at him. "You can just give any reason you know? It doesn't have to be in order or anything!"

"Well…You can be nice sometimes," Kitty said. "You do have that whole rebel thing going for you. You can be kind of cute."

"Okay, go on."

"Well you can be considerate when you want to be," Kitty fumbled. "I…I don't really know. I guess I just find you attractive."

"So basically you like me because of my looks?"

"That's not what I said…" Kitty told him. "You're jumping to conclusions which you do a lot! And I don't find **that **attractive. Along with your tendency to make everything about you!"

"I do not make everything about me!"

"Oh yes you do! It's either got to be your way or nothing!" Kitty snapped.

"And you **never **do that?" Lance looked at her.

"Maybe I do but you have to admit you have a lot of problems Lance! And they're not exactly easy to overlook!"

"So all are problems are caused by **me?** Even though you're the one who runs around with Peter every time I turn around?"

"Don't be stupid, Lance that's not what I said…"

"Oh now I'm stupid…"

"You've always been stupid Lance!" Kitty shouted.

"Obviously since all I have been doing is putting up with your crap all these years!" Lance shouted back. "That's it! No more! We are through!"

"Fine!" Kitty yelled back.

"I mean it this time Kitty!" Lance said.

"Suits me!" Kitty snapped. "I could do without the craziness and the earthquakes in my life!"

"I can do without your whining, your nagging…" Lance snarled. "Your constantly trying to make me into something I'm not! You didn't learn a damn thing at all did you?"

"I learned that being around you is a **mistake!"** Kitty shouted.

Both were shocked by the admission. They stood silent for several moments. "Lance…I didn't mean that," Kitty finally said.

"I think you did," Lance said coldly.

"Lance…" Kitty sighed walking towards him.

"No…" Lance backed away. "Don't…Don't make me…"

"Lance listen…I didn't mean it…"

"Really?"

"Well mostly…" Kitty admitted. "Maybe we should have broken up a long time ago. But we kept dragging it out because…I don't know. Neither one of us wanted to let go of something…familiar."

"Familiar?" Lance asked. "You mean like a pair of jeans or something? That's what our relationship is? Something just to fall back on if something else doesn't work?"

"I…I don't really know."

Lance glared at her several moments before speaking. "So what you are saying is that I have wasted the past several years loving someone who really didn't give a damn about me. Someone who was more interested in stroking her own ego by having a couple of guys follow her around like lovesick puppy dogs than having a real relationship!"

"Now that is **not** fair!" Kitty shouted.

"Not fair? You want to know what's **not** fair?" Lance shouted. "What's not fair is how I was treated by you! I have done everything and I mean **everything **to get you to love me! I've tried joining the X-Men. I've neglected my homework writing you songs and stupid love poems. I have done a million and one **stupid **things in order for you to notice me. But have you ever done anything for me? Anything at all?"

"Yes I have!" Kitty shouted. "I've had to defend you time and time again to my friends…"

"Like **you're** the only one who's had to do that!" Lance yelled back. "You're not exactly an easy sell you know? Between your lousy cooking, your driving, **your **temper…"

"That is it! We are so through Lance!"

"You bet we are because I just **dumped** you!"

"You did not…"

"Oh yes I did! Now hear this! I, Lance Alvers have officially **dumped** Kitty Pryde for the last and final time!"

"You mean first time Lance," Kitty snapped.

"You're right!" Lance shouted back. "I've always let you pull the strings but no more! I'm through being your puppet!"

"Oh yeah like I could really control you!" Kitty snapped. "Don't you dare be so judgmental of me Lance! The only reason you've hung on this long to our relationship was because of that stupid rivalry with Peter!"

"A rivalry **you **seemed to enjoy pretty much if I recall!"

"You never cared about my feelings! Either of you! Like I was some sort of prize!"

"Prize? You?" Lance got in her face. "I'm going to say a quote I think sizes up my feelings perfectly…WHAT CONTEST IN **HELL **DID I WIN?"

"HOW ABOUT LOSER OF THE YEAR!" Kitty shouted back.

"WELL THAT SUMS IT UP CONSIDERING THE BOOBY PRIZE I WAS SUPPOSEDLY FIGHTING FOR!" Lance snapped.

"I don't know what the hell I ever saw in you," Kitty growled.

"The feeling's **mutual **Pryde!" Lance snarled. "My life is going to be so much better off without you!"

"Your life? My life is going to be **ten times** better than yours!" Kitty shouted.

"Oh that's right you're going to be Mayor of Chicago," Lance mocked. "And you're going to go off into the sunset with Tin Man and live in a white house with a picket fence…That is if he doesn't go **gay **first!"

"No **you're** going to go gay first!" Kitty mocked back.

"You wish!" Lance snorted.

"Then you're going to turn into a coyote and help Shipwreck start World War Three!"

"Please we both know he does not need my help for that!" Lance scoffed. "He can blow up the planet all on his own!"

"I can't believe this…" Kitty groaned. "We can't even break up like normal people! Maybe because this relationship was pretty broken up in the beginning."

"Here we go…" Lance threw up his hands. "Dredging up the past again!"

"Well you have to admit if you look at the signs our relationship seemed doomed from the start!"

"Yeah I started out using you and ended up with you using me!"

"So you finally admit it!"

"**Finally?** I said I was **sorry **over a hundred times!" Lance yelled. "And still you keep throwing it in my face! While Colossus starts off with attacking you outright and yet you never say a word about it to him!"

"That was different. He was in a bad situation…"

"And **I wasn't?** Kitty you know what my home life was like before the whole Brotherhood thing! How come when **I **make bad choices its terrible but when **he **makes bad choices it's forgivable?"

"It was just a different situation!"

"Different? What exactly do you mean by different?"

"I guess it's just because he's a better…" Kitty stopped in mid sentence.

"A better **what?"** Lance's eyes grew dark. "Chess player? Artist? Polka dancer? Fill in the blank Kitty!" Kitty said nothing. "That's what I thought. I'm done with this! I am so done with this! And I'm done with **you!**" He stopped and walked away angry.

"Fine! It's over Lance! You hear me! OVER!" Kitty yelled, tears in her eyes. She ran off in the opposite direction.

Neither one of them realized that both Warren and Forge were still sitting on the roof. They had witnessed the whole thing. "Wow, that was pretty much unexpected," Forge blinked. "You think they've really broken up for good this time?"

"Sounds like it," Warren said. "In a way it's a relief. Maybe now there will be fewer fights around here. But somehow I doubt it."

"Yeah," Forge nodded. "Weird. It's like the end of an era or something."

"I know," Warren said. "That reminds me! The betting pool!" He took off to tell the others.

"Hey! I'm still on the roof here!" Forge cried out. "Get me down! Get me down!"

Meanwhile in a secret lair far away…

"Well now," Selene grinned as she had witnessed the entire breakup from her crystal ball. "Isn't this an interesting turn of events? Yes this may work in my favor rather nicely. With luck and careful planning I may get the Phoenix, Lance and find the Destiny Stone in one fell swoop!"

Just then a dimensional portal opened up and several monkeys in X-Men costumes tumbled out of it. "DAMN IT CY-CHIMP I TOLD YOU TO ASK FOR DIRECTIONS!" The red haired monkey screeched.

"If you won't **I** will!" A spider monkey with brown hair with a white streak in it and a black outfit snapped. "Hello, I'm Rogue Monkey. Do you know how to get back to Universe 7-Banana-Splits 7?"

Selene blinked. "You have **got **to be kidding me!"


End file.
